Karen's Poetry Spot

Ready Set Silhouette

2011-09-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

So I thought about how I'm not blogging much lately, and what I could have to write about these days, and I thought I'd switch off between reviews of the games I play with the girls, and the crafts we make.

Today I thought I'd start with a little game called Ready Set Silhouette.

It's based on the I Spy books from Scholastic, and has all the charming little miniatures that I love to look at. Each picture card has 8 or 9 little things on a white background. The object of the game is to find the matching silhouette card - clear cards with black silhouettes of the same objects.

We have a mini set that came from a Wendy's Kids meal. It has a little plastic box on a keychain to hold the cards, and only 12 pairs of cards. This size is perfect for playing with Lizbeth (who is three). If there were any more cards, they'd get mixed up and lost, and/or she'd have a hard time looking through them for the matches. As it is, we can spend about 20 minutes playing the game, and I can be sure that all the cards have their matches and get back into the box.

How do we like the game? It's simple enough for a three year old, but interesting enough that I don't get bored (it helps that it's essentially a sorting exercise, which my obsessive nature finds satisfying). The thing I like best is the moment when you've been twisting and flipping the card around, and everything finally lines up. There's a tiny outline of color, and then it's all black and white, neat and tidy.

The game teaches things like observation skills of course -- deciding what are the important features to look for, and then actually finding them. It also has a good spatial reasoning component because you have to twist and flip the clear cards to get everything to match.

All in all, I'd definitely reccomend this game -- though if I had a larger set, I'd probably only get out a few cards at a time.

Who needs math at a time like this?

2011-09-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

This isn't a poem, but an essay I wrote ten years ago today. I was teaching Math -- as a substitute for Remedial Algebra actually -- at Southview High School in Lorain, Ohio on September 11, 2001. At one period change, a group of students came in and said something about a plane crash and asked if we could watch TV instead of holding class. Of course I didn't do anything of the kind, and it wasn't till I went to the teachers' lunchroom at the end of that period that I got the news. For the rest of the day, I insisted on holding class before turning the TV back on, and I was very disturbed by the attitudes of the students. I wrote this essay that night, in order to have something to motivate them the next day. I also posted it to some Math Teacher websites.

As a side note to this, I was going through some old papers in the attic a while later, and found a copy of the Detroit Free Press from January 29, 1986. The Headline of the article said, "STUDENTS EXPRESS SHOCK, DISMAY AT SHUTTLE EXPLOSION" the subtitle was a quote from me, "I felt like there was nothing inside me." I was in third or fourth grade (I had the same classroom, teacher, and most of the same students for both years, so I can never tell them apart) and our teacher, Mrs. Patterson was one of those in the running for the "Teacher in Space" program. We spent weeks leading up to the liftoff, studying the shuttle, and we knew just what would happen when we watched the liftoff in class. Except it didn't. I can still close my eyes and see the trails of smoking debris arching away from the explosion. We watched the same horrible moments over and over. Mrs. Patterson had us each write a paragraph about our feelings, and some of those were printed in the paper. It was like having a flashback to that day when I turned on the TV at Southview -- except that the kids were all turning to ME for reassurance.When I went home that day, I ate a lot of ice cream and cried.

Who needs math at a time like this?

As the terrible events of Tuesday unfolded, I heard some disturbing sentiments: "I just wanna leave" "So does this mean we don’t have to do our homework?" "Can we just skip class today and watch the news?" It seems to me that students are saying, "Who needs math at a time like this?" If we are to continue to teach, this question must be answered. So who needs math at a time like this?

Rescue workers digging people out of the rubble of collapsed buildings must be able to calculate how much force they can apply at what angle in order to lift blocks safely. They must be able to predict what buildings are about to fall, and where. They do not have time to find a calculator and look up the formula for volume on a cheat sheet, and yet they know that they have to dig through the equivalent of a city’s worth of buildings piled on top of each other.

Doctors and nurses must be able to calculate how much medicine to give each person based on body weight and other factors. They must be able to figure out how many liters of blood they need, and how much of the supply has already been used. They need to order supplies, and be aware of how much time goes by between repeated treatments.

Reporters are deluging us with facts, figures, and speculations about the times, places, and the number of dead, wounded, and survivors.

FAA workers had to calculate new flight plans to get all of the planes out of the air safely. If flight 496 left Salt Lake City at 5:15 am at 2000 miles per hour, and flight 901 is heading southwest out of Detroit at 8:30 at 1500 miles per hour, and they both have to land at the same airport in Illinois, will they crash?

The passengers on the Pennsylvania plane made a horrible calculation and decided to crash in a field now and die, rather than take the chance of hitting something bigger, and killing thousands of people when the hijackers reached their target.

As the nation rebuilds, architects and engineers will draw plans for new buildings that will be stronger than before: buildings that will take such punishment, and stay standing a few minutes longer, so a few more people can escape should another disaster occur. They will marvel at the ones who built so well that the towers would fall straight down, and not sideways, knocking down half the city in a domino effect.

On the back wall of my classroom, I have a poster that reads: ONLY THE EDUCATED ARE FREE. The United States can only maintain its freedom, prosperity, and stability with an educated populace. Our economy depends on skilled and technical labor. Our government depends on citizens who are well informed about the history and current events that lead to events like this. Those that are educated can lend a hand, or a mind, to build up any community, from organizing relief efforts to preserving peace in our ethnically diverse neighborhoods. Those who are ignorant can only riot, retaliate blindly, or watch in horror as the world crumbles around them.

In answer to the question, who needs math at a time like this, all I can say is, at a time like this, who can do without it?

Were You There On That Christmas Night? by Natalie Sleeth

2010-12-07T14:23:00.000-08:00

Were You There On That Christmas Night?: Where you there? Where you there
On that Christmas night?
When the world was filled with a holy light?
Where you there to behold as the wonder foretold
Came to Earth?

Did you see? Did you see?
How they hailed him king?
With their gifts so rare that they chose to bring?
Did you see how they bowed as they praised him aloud
At his birth?

Did you hear how the choirs of angels sang
At the glory of the sight?
Did you hear how the bells of Heaven rang
All through the night?

Did you know, did you know
It was God's own son?
The salvation of the world begun?
Did you know it was love that was sent from above
To the Earth?

Did you know it was love that was sent from above
To the Earth?

--Natalie Sleeth

I sang this song in choir in I think 6th grade, and it's still one of my favorites.

I thought I'd post a few of the christmas crafts I've been doing, so without further ado, here's what we did today in preschool:

These sheep are made on empty thread spools. I hot glued pipe cleaner legs (each pair of legs is a V shaped pipe cleaner) and felt heads on, then let the kids wind the fuzzy yarn wool on. Winding wool between the pipe cleaner legs holds them in place.

Here's a project I made for my Sister in Law Marcelle to share with her kids. I also made a set for our family. Each night we put a piece on and sing a song that relates to the piece.

This image has both sets together to show how the pieces look in the pockets, and also in the stable above.

Here are the templates if you want to make one yourself. Look at my colors, or choose your own.

This is a page I altered from one I found online. It's another fun project to do with kids at Christmas. The rest of the project can be found here

Grandpa Roly

2010-10-25T07:55:00.000-07:00

The Battle Cry of Freedom: Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow,
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!
And every where that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom

(chorus)
Hurrah for the Mary, Hurrah for the Lamb
Hurrah for the teacher, who didn't give a particle
If all the lambs in Mary's town went marching off to school
They'd be shouting out the battle cry of freedom!

Mary had a little lamb she tied it to a well
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!
She took a stick of dynamite and blew it all to -- pieces
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!

(chorus)

Mary had a little lamb she also had a bear
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!
I've often seen her little lamb. I've never seen her bare.
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!

(chorus)

Mary had a little lamb, a little beef, a little ham
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!
Mary had a little cake, and Mary had a stomach ache.
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!

(chorus)

The elephant's a funny bird it leaps from bough to bough
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!
It makes its nest in the rhubarb tree and barks just like a cow.
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!

(chorus)

I eat my peas with honey, I have done it all my life,
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!
It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on my knife.
Shouting out the battle cry of freedom!

(chorus)

-Anonymous Scout song based on songs by George F Root and Sarah Hale

This song was a Scout song that I learned from mom, who learned it from Grandpa Roly. I didn't hear him sing much, but when he did, it was generally songs like this one. Another of hi favorites was "More Work for the Undertaker" which I ought to post here someday, but I think it's a bit morbid for my post today.

Grandpa Roly Holt died this morning. He had gotten sick while on vacation with my parents, and he spent the last month or so in the hospital getting progressively worse each time the doctors thought they had fixed or at least stabilized the problems. Mom says that at the end, he was peaceful, and the doctors had made him comfortable, and he slipped away at about four this morning with Mom beside him telling him how much we all loved him.

And Grandpa Roly was loved. It always surprised and pleased him when people did nice things for him, so it was fun for me to do things like plan his birthday party last year. Mom was in Ohio, so I put together a simple family party with cake and candles, and balloons and streamers, and a few presents I had picked up at the DI. He was as pleased a punch, and immediately went into his room to show me which suit he intended to wear the tie with. He even wanted to open up and share the Snickers bar I got him.

Grandpa Roly loved to talk, and could find a connection with any person he ever met. He remembered even the most obscure acquaintances, and could tell you the personal and family histories of the people who worked in the store where he bought the suit that went with that birthday tie (and WOULD, at great length, every chance he got).

He was a bit obsessive, and repetition comforted him, so it was often very easy to predict what he'd say in any given situation.

Even when we were young, we knew that when he had his extended family around, he'd sing "Boys and Girls Together" and say, "A real slice of life!" as if having us around was like eating a piece of pie or cake.
He loved to eat pie and cake, and anything with gravy on it. In fact, every time there was gravy at dinner, he'd tell the story of when he was young, and they were eating Meat and potatoes, and he'd asked for some gravy to go with it. "Whaddaya want gravy for with meat 'n potatoes?" his dad Harry Holt asked him. Then shaking his head, he'd said, "Boy, you'd eat gravy on ice cream."
When we'd finish our vacation, and get in the van to drive home, his last goodbye would be to give the car's hood a couple of good whacks, as if to tell the car, "take good care of them." In later years, the kids would be whispering, "Hit the car! Hit the car!" as Dad was getting ready to pull out, almost worried that he'd forget, but also, sure that he wouldn't.
I think that One of the reasons Mom was happy to leave the cat behind when they moved, was that every time he saw her, he's say, "Miss Kitty Cat. Your name is Kitty, and you're a cat, so your name is Miss Kitty Cat!" Every time he said it, it was as if he'd discovered a clever idea for the first time, and it honestly drove Mom up the wall.
The newspaper also had a nickname. The Deseret News, which he wasn't fond of, but had to subscribe to in order to get the Church News was the "Deserted News" and the funny pages were always the "Educational Section"

Most of us grinned and rolled our eyes when he'd say these things for the gazillionth time, but Lizbeth hadn't learned these habits yet. Every time he'd call her "Daughter of Zion" or "Miss Liz" or "Mis Ahlstrom" or "Darlin'" or any of his other nicknames, she'd say, "No. I'm not Miss Ahlstrom. I'm Lizbeth." After a while, I think she decided it was a game he liked to play, so no matter what he said, she'd contradict him. "No. Not good morning." I think it's interesting that after he had been gone for a week or so, on this vacation, she spent a day insisting that we call her Liz because, "That what Grandpa Roly says."

Elizabeth was a little wary of him at first, when we moved into the Salem House, and wouldn't go up to him, or submit to be hugged whenever he decided to grab her (his timing on hugs wasn't always convenient for any of us). As time went on though, he realized that if he let her come to him, he'd get plenty of hugs on HER terms. Just like most good things, he was surprised and pleased whenever she would come up and give him a hug and kiss and say, "I love you Grandpa Roly." She would sit on the couch next to him, or in his lap when watching movies, and even got him to read to her sometimes. I always though it was cute to watch him read to her because even with books that we'd read so many times we had them memorized, he was discovering the book for the first time as he read it to her, and would look at a picture and say, "Oh! Look. There's the monkey!" or something like that.

He also adored Bridget. I let him hold her in the hospital when she was only about a day old, and he discovered that he was good at holding a baby. From then on, every time we'd walk into the house, his fingers would start to itch, and he would happily hold Bridget for hours on end while she cooed and gurgled at him. He'd stick his finger into her hand and say, "Grabba Holt!" and laugh at his little pun. He loved looking at baby fingers, and would say, "Look at those little fingernails!" in a hushed, awed voice every time he saw tiny fingers.

Other people know more about his years of dedicated service in scouting, as bishop of an enormous ward, and as the best clerk and executive secretary that any ward leaders could wish for. I'll let them share those stories. What I know best is the way he treated me.

He was a kind, gentle man, and he loved me unconditionally. In college, I was often depressed, and went to visit Grandma and Grandpa when I was having trouble coping. Grandma would cook for me, and we'd watch old movies together, and do crafts, but Grandpa would just get a sweet sad look on his face and give me a long hug. I never saw him angry except when he felt like somebody he loved was being hurt. He'd defend Grandma from her sisters when he felt like she needed it, and the two times I was badly hurt by people close to me, I could tell that he really wished he could give those people a piece of his mind.

Grandpa Roly will be greatly missed in this world, but I know that he will be greeted with joy in the world to come. He missed Grandma Fawnie terribly, and now they can be together forever. Goodbye Grandpa Roly. We love you.

The Baby by George Macdonald

2010-06-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

The Baby: Where did you come from baby dear?
Out of the everywhere into here.

Where did you get those eyes so blue?
Out of the sky as I came through.

What makes the light in them sparkle and spin?
Some of the starry spikes left in.

Where did you get that little tear?
I found it waiting when I got here.

What makes your forehead so smooth and high?
A soft hand stroked it as I went by.

What makes your cheek like a warm white rose?
I saw something better than any one knows.

Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss?
Three angels gave me at once a kiss.

Where did you get this pearly ear?
God spoke, and it came out to hear.

Where did you get those arms and hands?
Love made itself into bonds and bands.

Feet, whence did you come, you darling things?
From the same box as the cherub's wings.

How did they all just come to be you?
God thought about me, and so I grew.

But how did you come to us, you dear?
God thought about you, and so I am here.
--George Macdonald

Bridget Ellen Ahlstrom was born at 10:15 Sunday morning. She was 7 lbs 9.6 oz (one pound less than Elizabeth) and 19 1/2 in long (just the same as Elizabeth).

I woke up at about 5:30 that morning and while I was using the bathroom, my water broke (which was VERY convenient for me mess-wise). We called Mom to come stay with Lizbeth, and since I wasn't having strong or regular contractions, waited till she arrived before heading to the hospital in Provo. We got there at about 7:00, and checked in without much hassle. Contractions were still light and irregular, so they started me on pitocin. I wasn't thrilled about that because it makes the contractions more intense and I wanted to try to avoid both the epidural -- which made me feel useless during Elizabeth's delivery -- and the narcotics -- which tend to make me feel out of control.

About three hours later, things were really going strong. The contractions were coming hard and fast, and I would have taken the narcotics, but the nurse said it was too late. Thankfully, it was not too long after that that I felt something change, and knew that Bridget was coming. I remembered from the lamaze class we took before Lizbeth was born that you can't push while you're huffing, so I switched my breathing to that while the nurses rushed around getting the bed ready and the doctor in the room. Once they told me to push, I was doing OK until the bed got pushed up so far that I was being squished between the backrest and the stirrups/ "It's too much!" I yelled desperately. "No, no." The nurses said, thinking I meant the pain and contractions, "You're doing fine!" "The bed!" I insisted -- not finding the words I wanted. When they finally understood what the problem was, we discovered that I had been the one pushing the button with my own elbow. I thought it was pretty funny, even in the moment.

It only took about three contractions of pushing, and Bridget was out and into the world. She was there on my chest, all covered in gook, but beautiful nonetheless. It all happened so fast at the end, that I didn't notice most of what was going on around me. Soon after she was toweled off, they took her away to clear her airways because she wasn't crying like she should. I was kind of in shock -- shaking like crazy, and kind of confused and sort of noticed as Peter called the grandparents, and posted to Twitter and facebook. They brought the baby back to nurse and bond, but she didn't seem very interested in sucking when breathing was such a challenge. Helena called Peter, and asked if he could post a picture, which he did with his spiffy iphone. After about an hour, they took Bridget away to give her eyedrops and have someone evaluate her breathing.

They moved me to a long-term room, and made sure I was able to walk, etc. Then I settled down to wait for Peter to bring Bridget back. Several hours later, I found out that they had taken her to the NICU, put surfactant in her lungs, and had her on oxygen. They had here there all day Sunday, and most of Monday too. It was hard to have to ask whether it would be all right to hold my own baby, and even harder when they said no. At the same time, everybody was cheerful and treated her case as something temporary and routine. Her O2 saturation was good even when she was off the CPAP breathing tube, she just wheased a lot and it seemed like it was hard for her to breathe, so they decided to give her a little help.

Monday morning, when she was still there, and not likely to come down soon, I tried pumping -- since they said, "Oh! if you don't do it in the first 12 hours, you could have trouble having enough milk supply." Well Shortage of milk was never my problem with Lizbeth, and it didn't look like it's be a problem this time either. I took two whole ounces (60 ml) of colostrum up with me to the NICU for my first visit of the day. When the Doctor saw it she burst out laughing, and told the nurse, "I wrote on her chart to give Colostrum as available, but you'd better not try to force all that down her throat at once. Just give her about five ml at a time."

Mom brought Grandpa Roly and Lizbeth to visit, and so the two sisters got to meet for the first time. Lizbeth was impressed for about 30 seconds, and then was done with the baby and wanted attention from Mama. Grandpa Roly admired her fingers and tiny fingernails, and said, "Grabba Holt" as she held his finger, much to his delight. Monday evening, They let her leave the NICU and come to my room.

We had annother visit from Mom and Lizbeth on Tuesday, and then early that afternoon, they suddenly said we could all go home. It was great to have our whole family together in our new house. We love Baby Bridget, and are thrilled to have her here with us at last.

We got a lot of good wishes from people, and I wanted to document them here.

Karen Stay Ahlstrom water just broke -- waiting for Mom to come and watch Elizabeth, then we'll head to the hospital. May 30 at 5:32am

Kirsa Van Dusen I hope everything goes smoothly! May 30 at 6:07am · .
Patti Harvey good luck! keep us posted!! May 30 at 6:28am · .
Tina Moore Ingles Yay! You'll do great I'm sure! May 30 at 9:09am ·

[TPMOTD] water just broke -- waiting for Mom to come and watch Elizabeth, then we'll head to the hospital. prayers for a safe and easy delivery would be nice

-Karen May 30 at 5:30am

How nice! Just 20 minutes ago I woke up and prayed that you'd have a safe delivery soon.
When I told Rachel, she said "Yaaay!" and Elliott started clapping. We're all excited for him to have another Ahlstrom cousin!
Love,
Steve and Rachel and Elliott May 30 at 5:40am
Good luck. We will keep you in our prayers.

Doug lesli daniel May 30 at 5:58am
Ooh, exciting! Good luck!

--Helena May 30 at 8:36am

Peter Ahlstrom We're heading to the hospital in about 25 minutes. Would appreciate prayers for a safe and easy delivery. May 30 at 5:45am via Twitter

Megan Kauffman Well, you got out of California, that's a point on your side. Prayers for all of you, and remember women have been having babies for thousands of years - don't let the doctors make you forget that. May 30 at 6:19am.
Stefan Rauch Good luck May 30 at 7:39am.
Peter Ahlstrom Karen says: "Half of those women died in childbirth. Well, maybe not half, but a lot of them." May 30 at 7:57am.
Megan Kauffman *cringe* I won't argue with a woman in labor but that's not the best attitude to have going into it. May 30 at 8:03am.
Tina Moore Ingles Good luck! Take good care of her! May 30 at 9:08am.
Suzie Irby Great! Prayed for a safe and easy delivery and you've got a great attitude! I can tell you've done this before :) May 30 at 9:42am.
Peter Ahlstrom Megan: the idea is that she's glad there's a doctor there. :) May 30 at 11:02am.
Kathi Russell-Rader Prayers and well wishes for a safe delivery on the way, Peter. Keep me posted. May 30 at 11:09am.
Suzie Irby Peter, you are very correct. Not only did lots of women die in childbirth but lots of babies too! For the life of me, I cannot imagine why people want to get back to all that mess. May 30 at 12:04pm.
Peter Ahlstrom Bridget Ellen Ahlstrom has arrived! She's holding my finger right now. Karen is (I hope) getting some rest. May 30 at 12:11pm.
Megan Kauffman Congratulations! Snuggle that baby for me. May 30 at 12:37pm

It's a girl!

10:15, 7 lbs 9.6 oz, 19 1/2"

Karen's doing fine. They're making sure baby's lungs and passages are
clear.

Peter May 30 at 10:31am.

Hooray! Happy birthday!

--Helena May 30 at 10:35am.
Congratulations!

May 30th is a good birthday. May is a good month for birthdays, right, those of you with may birthdays?
Lesli May 30 at 10:56am.

[TPMOTD] Bridget Ellen Ahlstrom
Welcome to the world. (Picture)
May 30 at 10:58am.

She is so cute. Her nose looks like Elizabeth's when she was new. That was super fast for a picture! Ellen Lynn Summerstay is what we were going to name daniel if he was a girl.
Lesli May 30 at 11:01am.
Congratulations! What a great name, too! She's beautiful.
She does look like Lizbeth!

Congratulations! :)

--Helena May 30 at 11:02am.
Yay! Congratulations!

We were trying to park at Niagara Falls when you called; it took like an hour. Then when I listened to your message I could only understand a few words here and there, but I got the idea when I heard the weight. Yay.
-Betsey May 30 at 9:38pm.
Yeah! So glad to hear that she made it safely. -David June 1 at 10:29am.

Peter Ahlstrom It's a girl! 7 lbs 9.6 oz, 19 1/2". Mom and baby are doing fine.
May 30 at 11:00am via Twitter

Eric Neve Congratulations May 30 at 11:01am.
Brandis Pennington Congrats!!! May 30 at 11:01am.
Vanessa Kennington Christenson congrats! May 30 at 11:02am.
Christopher Wheat Wonderful Peter! All the best to your family! May 30 at 11:17am.
Eric Lake Congratulations! That's awesome. May 30 at 11:18am.
Kathi Russell-Rader Congratulations, Peter. How wonderful. May 30 at 11:21am.
Sabrina Pratte Congrats!!! May 30 at 11:23am.
Josh Walker Congrats, Peter! May 30 at 11:36am.
Eric Lake What's her name? May 30 at 12:13pm.
Peter Ahlstrom Bridget Ellen. May 30 at 12:15pm.
Valerie Hill Congrats!!!!!!! Enjoy the newborn stage and treasure every moment.... It wont last long enough! May 30 at 12:18pm.
Abby Grimshaw Dawe Congrats! Glad mom and baby are doing well. May 30 at 12:57pm.
Suzie Irby Congratulations!!! May 30 at 1:15pm.
Devin M. Taylor congratulations!! May 30 at 1:27pm.
Fen Eatough Woohoo!! Congrats! May 30 at 2:18pm.
Christina Feinauer Jones Congratulations! Fun to have two girls! May 30 at 2:54pm.
Patrick Sullivan congraturation May 30 at 4:21pm.
Lincy Chan Congratulation! She looks really cute! May 30 at 5:36pm.
Matthew Bushman Congratulations! May 30 at 9:41pm.
Diann T. Read Congratulations! May 31 at 7:03am.
Ta Nessa Carter Congratulations! May 31 at 8:03pm

Peter Ahlstrom . It's a girl! (Picture) May 30 at 12:03pm via Facebook Mobile

Michael Johnson Congratulations! May 30 at 12:15pm.
Valerie Hill Shes a beauty!!!! Better go ahead and by the shotgun so you can go target practicing! May 30 at 12:21pm.
Kristina Kugler Congratulations! May 30 at 12:24pm.
Karen Gonzalez Congrats! She looks a little like Elizabeth. May 30 at 1:03pm.
Suzie Irby That was fast! May 30 at 1:17pm.
Mi'chelle Trammel AWWW!!!! Peter, she so cute! Uber congratulations! May 30 at 1:25pm.
Joseph Zuehl Geesh, weren't you just on your way to the hospital? Man, in any case congratulations!! May 30 at 4:12pm.
Peter Ahlstrom We got up at 5:30 (water broke) and then she was born at 10:15. Karen was not in active labor when we got to the hospital (mild contractions every 20-40 minutes) but since her water had already broken they felt pitocin was a good idea. So once labor started it was less than 3 hours. And the final push came on rather suddenly--and the doctor we were expecting to use was in a c-section, so we had a surprise doctor. May 30 at 4:23pm.
Vanessa Kennington Christenson Whoa! Carl Earnstrom (you remember him, Peter? He was the editor at TLE before me) his wife had a baby today, too! How's that for coincidence?

Oh, and she's a cutie! Congrats! May 30 at 4:27pm.
Deanna Hoak Congratulations!! May 30 at 5:19pm.
Jeffrey Creer Congrats to you and Karen. May 30 at 5:39pm.
Laura Duffin Congrats, Papa (& Mama)!!! :-D :-D May 30 at 6:55pm.
Charisa Player Congratulations! May 30 at 7:51pm.
Kalyani Poluri thats an angel of a baby.. Congratulations.. :) May 30 at 11:20pm.
Melanie Benabides Congratulations! :D June 1 at 1:58pm

Update from Peter. The baby was born this morning at 10:15 and is named Bridget Ellen. 7 lbs 9.6 oz, 19.5". Right now they've got her in the NICU due to her working slightly harder to breathe than they'd prefer. She may go to Karen's room anytime but it's hard to say.

Karen has recovered quite a lot. She sent me home where I can actually get some sleep. We will keep you posted. May 30 at 6:06pm

Janice West Warren Congratulations!!!!! May 30 at 6:14pm · .
Tina Moore Ingles Congrats and I'll be praying for the baby! May 30 at 6:52pm · .
Phyllis Kimmel So glad to hear about Karen and Bridget Ellen. My prayers for all of you... May 30 at 7:04pm · .
Kirsa Van Dusen Congratulations! What a beautiful name! I hope she gets to go stay with Karen soon! May 30 at 7:59pm · .
Martha Holt Henderson Congrats! Wow, early and everything! Keep us updated, you'll all be in our prayers. May 30 at 8:39pm · .
Jill Pavic Whoo hoo! Congratulations! May 30 at 8:39pm · .
Linda Stay Danielson Congratulations! Hope all continues to go well with the baby and Momma. May 30 at 9:20pm · .
Dorothy Brown Larson Wonderful news! Congratulations. May 30 at 10:26pm · .
Vanessa Kennington Christenson I love the name! Congrats May 30 at 11:09pm · .
Judi Moore Blessings to Bridget and Karen, and joy for Peter and Elizabeth!!! May 31 at 12:31am · .
Jaime Predmore Congratulations Karen and Peter :) May 31 at 6:32am · .
Ethel Pastron Congrats!!! I hope all continues to go well. May 31 at 7:55am · .
Marci Stay Stringham I am so happy to hear the good news. Give Karen all my best and congratulations to the both of you. May 31 at 8:21am · .
Kathy Bradley congratulations. Hope Karen and Bridget are home soon. May 31 at 9:34am · .
Peter Ahlstrom She's out of the NICU now and will be here in Karen's room in a couple of minutes. May 31 at 4:52pm · .
Peter Ahlstrom And she's here! May 31 at 5:12pm · .
Julie Anna Wagner Covey Congratulations to your family!! May 31 at 5:57pm

Peter Ahlstrom My parents, my sisters, their husbands & kids all have odd-numbered birthdays. My wife & I, toddler, & new baby buck that. Consistency yay! May 31 at 2:32pm via Twitter

Helena Ahlstrom Jole Whoa, I had never noticed that. May 31 at 3:03pm.
Peter Ahlstrom Barb reminded me of it last night. I think she has paid the most attention to this curious statistic. May 31 at 5:19pm

Peter Ahlstrom Baby's out of the NICU. Hooray! May 31 at 4:42pm via Twitter

Karen Gonzalez What's her name? And yay 4 getting out early. How's Karen doing? May 31 at 5:39pm.
Peter Ahlstrom Bridget Ellen. And Karen is doing well. May 31 at 5:58pm.
Kathi Russell-Rader Congratulations Peter. What a lovely name. My youngest niece is a Bridget. May 31 at 8:07pm.
Mark Ahlstrom I hope all of you were able to get some sleep. June 1 at 5:51am

[TPMOTD] Bridget is here

She's had a really good day so they've brought her down to the room with Karen. They have her on antibiotics that they need to give her until tomorrow, after which they'll do some blood work. If it looks at that point like she's not trying to fight anything off, she'll be going home with us.

Peter May 31 at 5:11pm.

That's great!

Why is she on antibiotics? Was she in icu?
LesliMay 31 at 5:12pm.
She was in the NICU until about 4:30 today: she was having a bit of trouble breathing. Over 95% oxygen levels, but huffing so they had her on O for a while, then just on air with positive pressure. They took that off this morning and she's done fine. They may be doing an antibiotic just becasue of all the lines they put in?
Rebecca May 31 at 5:57pm.
That sounds like Daniel. They said with him that whenever newborns have trouble breathing they start them on antibiotics immediately and do tests to see what's causing it later, because if it's pneumonia or suchlike, if they do the tests first, they could get into a very serious condition by the time they get them on antibiotics. So they put daniel on them immediately, and then found he didn't need them, but they have to taper them off slowly, so he was on them for 3 days, and in nicu for three days, even though he was only on oxygen for the first day. They said the trouble breathing was because he had trouble transitioning. He was grunting too.

I never found out his oxygen levels, but i think they were pretty low at first.
I'm glad she's doing fine. THanks for the pictures. She's cute.
Lesli May 31 at 6:46pm.
Elliott didn't go to the nicu, but he also had to get oxygen right after he was born. He was just grunting and not crying when the pediatrician did his routine checks on him.

I'm glad Bridget doing fine. She's adorable.
Rachel June 1 at 5:26am.

You are invited to view Rebecca's photo album: Bridget May 31 at 6:04pm.

She's adorable. What's the pink stuff on her foot? -Steve May 31 at 8:15pm.
Probably tape: she has an IV in one foot and they put a sensor on the other and also take blood out for tests. -Rebecca May 31 at 11:57pm.
the pink is red light shining through from one of the sensors -- the one that reads pulse rate and oxygen saturation. in an adult it would be clamped like a clothespin on your finger. She also had a temperature sensor, blood pressure cuff, an IV, and EKG electrodes to get heart beat and respiratory rate. The thing I was most impressed with was the velcro headgear for keeping the CPAP breathing tube in place on her nose. With so many things just taped on willy nilly, Bridget's feet and ankles are in sad shape with her sensitive skin dry and cracked where it hasn't been poked or rubbed away entirely. This headgear though was obviously well designed for function and comfort.

Lesli's explanation about them givinng antibiotics first and looking for infections later was exactly what they told me for Bridget.

It was hard not being able to hold her much that first day, but the NICU staff all seemed so calm about everything the were doing with her that at no point did I feel really worried about her long term health.

-Karen June 1 at 4:41pm.
Yeah-- it is really hard not to be able to hold them that first day. I hate to say it, but it was a little easier with Levi than with Anna. I guess I wasn't expecting to be able to hold or cuddle him much the first few days since that's how it was with Anna. In fact, I think his birth was a little less joyful for me than Anna's since the whole time I just knew I wouldn't get to touch him for 12 hours. But without such high highs, there weren't such low lows so there was a lot less crying in the NICU with Levi :)
-Heather June 1 at 6:03pm.

Peter Ahlstrom Doctor says we can all go home in a few minutes. June 1 at 1:56pm via Twitter

Helena Ahlstrom Jole Yay! June 1 at 2:42pm.
Peter Ahlstrom And we are home. June 1 at 3:16pm.
Mark Ahlstrom w00t! June 1 at 3:24pm.
Suzie Irby Nice! June 1 at 3:25pm.
Stacy Whitman I didn't realize you were still at the hospital when I emailed yesterday! You're just as busy as anybody right now. June 2 at 9:30am.
Peter Ahlstrom Well, there is a lot of time just sitting around at the hospital. Thank goodness for wireless Internet. June 2 at 10:48am

Karen Stay Ahlstrom Home from the hospital with baby Bridget June 1 at 3:14pm

Kirsa Van Dusen Hooray! June 1 at 3:58pm · .
Tina Moore Ingles I'm so glad she's here and safe :) June 1 at 5:23pm · .
Howard Tayler Congratulations! June 1 at 5:23pm · .
Martha Holt Henderson Glad she's here safely! Let me know what I can do to help! June 1 at 5:32pm · .
Phyllis Kimmel Best wishes, Karen. Bridget Ellen is getting a great family. June 1 at 9:53pm · .
Rachel G Hunsaker Congrats!! June 1 at 10:50pm · .
Michele Beachler Congratulations to all! And I think it's cool she was born so close to her mom's birthday :) June 2 at 6:05am · .
Jen De Sart Harris love the name! Feel better! and enjoy! June 2 at 2:25pm

[TPMOTD] We are home
Forgot to mention it earlier, but we are all home. Bridget is doing
well. And do is Karen.

Peter June 1 at 6:01pm

Hooray! -Heather June 1 at 6:04pm
Great! I'm glad everyone is doing well.

Peter, how long will you be able to take off work?

--M (Kathey) June 1 at 8:17pm

The Spirit of God by William W. Phelps

2010-04-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

The Spirit of God

The Spirit of God like a fire is burning!
The latter-day glory begins to come forth;
The visions and blessings of old are returning,
And angels are coming to visit the earth.

We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of heaven,
Hosanna, hosanna to God and the Lamb!
Let glory to them in the highest be given,
Henceforth and forever, Amen and amen!

The Lord is extending the Saints' understanding,
Restoring their judges and all as at first.
The knowledge and power of God are expanding;
The veil o'er the earth is beginning to burst.

We'll call in our solemn assemblies in spirit,
To spread forth the kingdom of heaven abroad,
That we through our faith may begin to inherit
The visions and blessings and glories of God.

How blessed the day when the lamb and the lion
Shall lie down together without any ire,
And Ephraim be crowned with his blessing in Zion,
As Jesus descends with his chariot of fire!

We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of heaven,
Hosanna, hosanna to God and the Lamb!
Let glory to them in the highest be given,
Henceforth and forever, Amen and amen!

--William W. Phelps

I am one of the leaders for our Ward's Activity Days program (girls 8-12). Every so often we have a Show and Share night so the parents can see what the girls have been doing. When we planned the activity we had tonight, it was supposed to be in March, so I suggested that for our theme we could do Lions and Lambs. On one hand, there's the little saying about March, the it comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, and on the other hand, there's plenty of Christian symbolism to lions and lambs, especially if we were going to do it just before Easter.

Well, with several Wards meeting in our building, there are serious scheduling issues, and we couldn't get the gym until tonight. That meant that the March part of the theme was toast, but since nobody felt like coming up with a new theme we just went with "And the Lion shall lie down with the lamb."

I had two assignments. The first was to do centerpieces for the tables. I thought it would be really cute to just gather up all of the lion and lamb toys we have around the house, and arrange them artfully. I knew that Lizbeth had a lot of little lambs, because she likes them almost as much as kitties. I got a couple of big lions for 50 cents each at the DI, and then went through the toy boxes to pull out the other random ones we had. I put them all in one of the big boxes that bulk diapers come in, and it was full to overflowing by the time I was done, and I know of several that never made it into the box. With the Easter grass and plastic eggs that we also decided to use even though Easter was weeks ago, it really looked good.

My other assignment was to give a short lesson talking about the theme and why we had chosen it. Since I actually typed up what I was going to say beforehand, I thought I'd post it here for you to read. I wanted to fit in something about Aslan in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, but I couldn't gind the right place for it. I could also have mentioned Lambert the Sheepish Lion, but that just would have been silly. I only mentioned in passing the stories in 1 Kings 13 and 1 Kings 20 where people are eaten by lions, but if, like certain of my brothers, you enjoy reading really odd Old Testament stories, they're worth looking at. Anyway, here it is:

I've been asked to talk a little bit today about our theme: The lamb shall lie down with the lion.

We sing about it in the hymn The Spirit of God: How blessed the day when the lamb and the lion shall lie down together without any ire.

Scripturally, it comes from a passage in Isaiah chapter 11 verse 6 where he's talking about the peace that will come after the wars and Judgement Day at the end of the world: The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.

When I looked that up, I was surprised -- there are a lot of animals mentioned in that verse, and though the lion and lamb are both there, they aren't particularly close together, and yet in the song, and all kinds of Christian art, they're the two animals shown lying down together in peace in the millenium.

After doing a bit more searching, I found that the connection came from another prophecy about the end of the world, this one in Revelation chapter 5. Sitting there by God's throne, John sees a book that's sealed with seven seals. It's called the Book of Life, and everything everybody has done is written inside so they can be judged. But John is sad because there's nobody worthy to open the book and read what's inside. Then in vs 5 it says, And one of the elders saith unto me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof. 6 And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain... 7 And he came and took the book out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne.

So here in John's vision, in one verse, Jesus is called the Lion of The Tribe of Judah, and in the next, He's suddenly called the Lamb.

We're used to thinking of Jesus as the Lamb of God. At Easter we remember how as part of His great atoning sacrifice, He fulfilled the Law of Moses by allowing Himself to be sacrificed as the Passover Lamb to meet the demands of Justice and forgive all our sins if we would repent. John the Baptist said, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world. (John 1:29). When the Angel is explaining Nephi's vision of the Tree of Life in 1 Ne 13, he constantly refers to Jesus as The Lamb or The Lamb of God.

And it's easy to see how he's like a lamb: Meek, Pure, Innocent, in Isaiah 53, it says, 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.

The lion is a bit harder at first, but becomes easier to see as you look more closely. A lion is known as the ‘king of beasts’ He is majestic and strong. These two characteristics in themselves can be applied to the Lord. In ancient days, the King was the one who made the laws, and often acted as the top judge in the land as well (think of King Solomon and his famous wisdom in judgement).

In the Old Testament, Lions are often a symbol of God's Justice. Some people are killed by Lions after disobeying the prophets, and other prophets talked about Babylon and Assyria coming to take the Children of Israel into captivity as ravening lions. The most famous Lion story is about Daniel. Because he obeyed God's law, and even the king knew that the law of the land was unjust, the lions that were the instrument of justice had no power to devour Daniel.

Christ is the King of Kings, and therefore, the only one qualified to open the book and sit down and Judge everybody on Judgement Day. It's interesting though, that when he does it in Revelation, He's called the Lamb. One of the great problems with God's plan was that everybody who came to Earth would sin, and no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of God. Alma says, in chapter 42 vs 25 What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God. But because Christ, the only perfect, unblemished, innocent Child of God was willing to suffer and die for our sins, the demands of Justice were satisfied, and He could be merciful at Judgement Day.

And if you go back to Isaiah 11, where this whole journey started, you'll see that that's really what that chapter is all about. It talks about how he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears: 4 But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.

He's the perfect Judge. On one hand he's merciful to those that try to be righteous, and on the other hand, those that are truly wicked and oppress others will be destroyed. At that point, Justice and Mercy don't have to be at odds any more.

The question we should ask ourselves now that we know all this, is which side of Jesus do I want ot see at Judgement Day? Do I want to meet to Lion, who will judge me guilty for every thoughtless thing I've done, or do I want to meet the Lamb of God, who has already paid the price for my sins and will forgive me if I repent and do as He commands?

A-tisket. A-tasket as sung by Ella Fitzgerald

2010-04-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

A-tisket. a-tasket: A-tisket, a-tasket,; A green and yellow basket; I bought a basket for my mom; And on the way I dropped it; I dropped it, I dropped it; Yes, On the way I dropped it; A little girlie picked it up; And took it to the market; She was truckin' on down the avenue,; Without a single thing to do; She was peck-peck-peckin all around; When she spied it on the ground; A tisket. A-tasket; She took my yellow basket; And if she doesn't bring it back; I think that I shall die; (Was it red?) no,no,no,no,; (Was it brown?) no,no,no,no,; (Was it blue?) no,no,no,no,; Just a little yellow basket; --Anonymous nursery rhyme (as sung by Ella Fitzgerald)

Here's another long post full of facebook updates with some photos and videos thrown in. Feel free to skim.

Feb 22 Elizabeth has figured out that singing a song means having sustained notes, and not just reciting the lyrics. She has not figured out how to carry anything like a tune yet though. That means that Mama gets to listen to Aaaa-Beeee-Ceee-Deee-Eeee-Fff-Geeee! and Puuuut Heeeerrrr iiinn aaaaa pumkiiiin sheeeelllll annnnd ...theeeeereee heee keeept herrrr veee-ryyyy weeeelllll in a very loud monotone for hours on end today.
Feb 22 By dinner time Elizabeth's stream of consciousness had degraded to "Diddle diddle diddile blablablablablablabla Blah!!!! lalalalalalalal bl-ey-bl-ey-bl-ey!" Will I never hear silence again?
Feb 24 Lizbeth quote of the day: "I want a credit card too!"
Feb 25 Lizbeth was playing with my jewelry while I got dressed and brushed my hair after a shower. When I finished and put the brush away, Lizbeth looked at me in the big mirror and said, "Mama -- how pretty she is!" Some days I don't mind when she talks.
Feb 26 Elizabeth keeps saying, "Patient song! Patient song 'gin Mama! I want the patient song!" Can you say ironic? (click the link to hear the song she means) looking at the words now, I realize I've been singing it wrong -- I sing the last line as "Love and help each other be patient kind and true." So that''s where the "patient" comes from.
Feb 28 Lizbeth's latest non-sequiter: "Hooray! I'm happy. Hooray for Lizbeth."
ok, so she then went on to quote one of her favorite passages from the book All My Little Ducklings -- "Pitter patter scatter" -- four or five times, then suddenly shouted, "Oh! Oh my!...said Lizbeth" and when that got laughs, she said it a few more times, complete with dialogue tags.
Mar 4 Elizabeth has been deciding more and more often recently that she just doesn't want to wear clothes. She'd rather go around naked and snuggle with super-soft micro fiber blankets. How do you explain modesty to a two year old?
Mar 4 Showed Elizabeth some of Mary Poppins tonight for the first time. Bored by Mr. Banks' song, entranced by the chalk drawing sequence, and rubbing her eyes and yawning during Stay Awake. I think we've got a winner.
Mar 6 I think Elizabeth ate three bites of her dinner tonight, and no amount of cajoling would convince her to eat any more. The rest got spat out, played with and thrown on the floor. Needless to say we're a bit grumpy this evening.
Mar 9 When Lizbeth stripped naked and started rolling in blankets today, Grandma offered to make pants and shirt from a blanket so she could stay dressed and still feel the super soft stuff on her skin. Lizbeth danced with glee at the idea. And though she pulled the pants and shirt up and down to get the feeling of it over... and over, she did stay dressed for the rest of the day! :)
In this video, taken Apr 3rd, she is wearing the blanket pajamas and playing with her blue blanket. This is a game Elizabeth made up today. She put the blanket on her head and said she looked like a baby (since that's how I swaddle dolls). Then she said, "and I have two wings like a bee!" and was so impressed by the idea that she played baby bumblebee for about an hour, buzzing, dancing, and repositioning her blanket wings and hood.

Another cute photo of the baby bumblebee in blanket pajamas
Mar 14 Lizbeth woke up crying hysterically. When I went in to comfort her it took a couple of minutes just to stop and breathe. I asked her what she was dreaming about and for the first time, she was able to give me an answer: "It was a frog." what was the frog doing? "It was hopping out of an egg." she tells me it wasn't scary, but it wasn't happy and it wasn't fun either.
Mar 17 had a long busy exhausting day. Kept Elizabeth happy and energized with gummi bears. The zoo was great, and Elizabeth is finally going down slides again. Wore my leprochaun socks, but ate Indian for dinner (sorry St. Pat!).
Our trip to the zoo was a lot of fun. It was the first really warm springy day we'd had that we actually got to go outside for a long time. Elizabeth had a lot of energy and spent a lot of time running around on the playground, doing things she had been timid about all winter.
This is about her third time up this rope ladder. The first time she needed a lot of help, but she quickly gained confidence and skill.

At the bottom of the rope ladder

At the top of the rope ladder

At the top of the twirly slide. Notice what the static does to her hair.

Trying to get a cute Easter greetings photo. This is the best one we got. I have about 20 of the top of her head or with her climbing in or out or looking away from me.

Enjoying the snake slide. You have to go up a couple of flights of stairs to get to the top of this slide, and Lizbeth enjoyed it so much she went five or more times in a row.

In the turtle shell
Mar 18 Grandpa Roly was watching the BYU game while Elizabeth ate lunch. She paid particular attention to how he sat on the edge of his chair and yelled at the screen. When he went to change the laundry, she climbed up in his chair and started shouting, "Yes! No! Yes! No! Okay! Whoops! Nuts!"
Mar 18 I clipped Elizabeth's fingernails this morning. As we were heading downstairs for naptime after lunch, she looked at her stuffed kitty and said, "Clip kitty's ears. Clip kitty's nose nails." I said, we have fingernails and toenails, but no nose nails!" She looked at me smiling at her, tapped my teeth with her finger... and said, "Mama has mouth nails!"
Mar 24 We were talking with Lizbeth about the new baby sister that's coming this summer, and I asked her, "do you know where Baby Sister is right now?" Lizbeth thought for a moment and answered, "At the DI?"
Mar 26 RemoveKaren Stay Ahlstrom Said, "Do you want to pick out a shirt?" Lizbeth said, Kitty wants to pick out a shirt. She has hands for picking out." Then using the kitty's paws as pincers, she grabbed a shirt out of her drawer. "Oooohhh! Kitty picked out a lovely shirt!" she said as I put it on her. After breakfast, when she picked up the kitty ...again, she said, "Oh Kitty, Look at this beautiful shirt."
Mar 26 Driving home from a long day of shopping, Elizabeth kicked off her boots and socks and was making wired singing noises in the back seat. When she giggled at something she had said, I thought I ought to pay attention. This is what I heard: "This little kitty had roast beef, this little kitty had none. This little kitt...y went wee wee wee all the way home. I said the piggies were kitties. That's funny! Ha ha ha!"
Mar 27 I asked Peter, who is working on a tight deadline, "Are you playing catchup or getting ahead on work right now?" Peter answered, "I'm not getting ahead." Lizbeth said, "Daddy is getting ahead. Daddy has Daddy's head." as if this should be obvious to anyone with eyes.
Mar 28 Today in nursery they gave Elizabeth cutouts of Jesus, the tomb, and a stone to block the door. Much of Sacrament meeting was spent rolling away the stone and letting Jesus come out. Good Job Church Curriculum Department! :)
Mar 28 Just before we went upstairs for lunch today, somebody started a music box that played, "I'd like to teach the world to sing." It reminded Elizabeth of the Happy Birthday song which she insisted we sing to her. When we got upstairs and put her in her chair, she said, in an injured tone of voice, "We have no cake!"
Mar 30 Peter posted this video of Lizbeth on Brandon's facebook pages and got tons of funny comments from his fans

My two-year-old finds some of the manuscript of THE WAY OF KINGS by Brandon Sanderson (turn up volume).
Mar 31 Tonight, Elizabeth fell into the too-hungry-to-be-rational-enough-to-put-on-a-bib-sit-in-her-chair-and-eat-something trap. I managed to get a little beef and barley stew and applesauce into her after much weaping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Then I tried to see what else she might be interested in. I began with some old standby favorites.
"Do you want some frozen peas?" I asked.
"No" she answered.
"Do you want some turkey?" I asked.
"Nooo" She answered.
"Do you want some ham?" she asked.
"Do you want some ham?" I asked, playing along, hoping that she really did.
"Noooooo" she answered.
"Do you want some roast beef?" she asked.
"Noo-oo-ooo" she answered herself.
"Do you want some barley and potatoes? Noooooo"
"Do you want some Applesauce? Nooooo"
"Do you want some milk? Nooo"

By this time, all I could do was sit and giggle at her. Peter got out his phone to take video, but toddlers are quantum creatures, and recording them changes their behavior, and she started hamming it up for the camera:

"Do you want some ham? Nooo"
"Do you want some ham Daddy? No"
"Do you want some ham Daddy? No"
"Do you want some ham Daddy? No"
"Do you want some ham Daddy? No"

And that was all we could get out of her until she asked if Daddy wanted some frozen peas, which he did, so then she decided she did too, and eating resumed.
Apr 1 Tonight Lizbeth demanded a new song entitled "Jesus has a Blue Blanket" After she rejected the slightly modified "Jesus Jesus Rest your head, you have got a blue blanket" I sang the following: Jesus has a Blue Blanket, Blue Blanket, Blue blanket. Jesus has a Blue Blanket, and He shares it with Lizbeth. When I finished, Lizbeth sighed contentedly and said, "Yes. He shares it with Lizbeth." I justified it doctrinally by saying that everything we have comes from Heavenly Father and Jesus, and we're thankful that they made such a wonderful world with good things like Mamas, Daddies and Blue Blankets in it.

These were taken on Palm Sunday. Mom is out of town helping Heather with her new baby, and was disappointed not to see the Amaryllis bloom. So these shots are for her.

Here's our Easter Secular Saturday celebration photos:
Dying eggs

Drawing on eggs

Smile for the camera!

Here is a long video of Elizabeth's Easter Egg hunt. We all had a lot of fun dying eggs, then hiding and searching for them with Elizabeth. It was especially cute when whoever was searching wasn't fast enough to find the eggs she had hidden, so she picked them up and put them in their basket herself.

If you're wondering how my life is going, I'm feeling more and more pregnant (30 weeks now) and getting more and more annoyed at people who tell me I'm so tiny. It's hard to sleep, and hard to walk, and hard to sit, and I'm pretty sure my hip got dislocated for about a day. I am in pretty good spirits most of the time, though with Mom gone and Peter working long hours, I'm feeling rather isolated and anxious and getting frustrated with Elizabeth more easily. I'm really enjoying our ward's quilting group, and we've been having more friends come over to play with Lizbeth lately, so that helps some too. I've been looking at apartments and rental units so we can move closer to Peter's work, and out of Mom and Dad's basement, but I only found one that really looked like someplace that I'd want to move to on purpose, and it got rented to somebody else, so that's on hold again for a while.

Well, that's all for now. See you in about a month, unless I get around to writing about Elizabeth's favorite games (as I've been meaning to do for about a week now).

Baa, Baa, Black Sheep by Mother Goose

2010-02-21T17:09:00.000-08:00

Baa, Baa, Black Sheep: Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full;
One for the master,
And one for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
--Mother Goose

Elizabeth loves sheep right now. For some reason they make her happy. They're even giving the kitties a run for their money for favorite toys. She doesn't have any black sheep though. All of her toy and stuffed sheep are white (except for the new pink valentine sheep that Grandma gave her). So even though she loves this song (and Mary Had a Little Lamb), I usually have to sing Baa Baa White Sheep instead. And when we put some glow in the dark sheep on the wall of her room for her to count and help her sleep, I had to sing Baa Baa Glowing Sheeps for a few nights. She's such a funny girl. We love her a lot.

I know that not all of my blog readers are also facebook friends, so I thought I'd post some of the cute things Elizabeth has been saying here as well as there. If you are one of my facebook friends, then sorry, there's not anything new here in this post until the photos.

Feb 20: Somewhere upstairs, my mom just blew her nose. Downstairs in the basement, Elizabeth perked up and said excitedly, "That's Grandma!"

Feb 19: Overheard Lizbeth singing to herself: As Grandpa loves you love one another...'notherone likes you...Grandpa becca loves you

Feb 18: Putting Lizbeth down for a late nap, I said, "I need to go make dinner so you'll have something nice to eat tonight. She said, "Oh! That was nice of you."

Feb 17: Grandma tells me that Lizbeth waited in the bathtub, laying in the water, till it had all run out. Grandma asked if she was ready to get out since all the water was gone, and Lizbeth said, "No. I sleep here in empty tub."

Feb 14: On the way home after another long Sacrament meeting. Lizbeth: I love the church. Peter: I'm glad you love the church. I love the church too. Mommy, do you love the church? Karen (wearily): Oh yes, I love the church too. Lizbeth: No, Mama does not.

Feb 14: Grandma put some Valentines in Elizabeth's room, including a pink stuffed sheep, for her to find when she woke up. Elizabeth was suitably excited, and showed me the cards with Pooh Bear, Princess Aurora, Joel's red car (Lightning McQueen), and Woody and Buzz. When I asked "Where did the sheep come from? Who gave it to... you?" she said, "From the DI?" I guess she knows where I get all her animals!When I told her that the sheep was from Grandma, and that it meant that Grandma was saying "I love you" she pulled the sheep's arms out and made it give her a hug. So she did really understand after all

Feb 10: while addressing Valentine cards just now, I heard some suspicious noises coming from the playroom. Lizbeth had taken the giant box of Goldfish crackers and poured them ALL out on her little table and chairs and floor. Mama: "Don't pour them all out!" Lizbeth: "I'm putting dems on the table." Mama: "OK, but that's too many!" Lizbeth: "But I want to eat too many."

Feb 8: Last night, after Lizbeth's bedtime, Grandma went downstairs and heard her crying hystreically in her room. While being carried upstairs, Lizbeth said, "I'm cleaning my nose with the blue blinket." and demonstrated by wiping off some snot. I came to hold and comfort her, and asked what she needed. Lizbeth choked back a sob and said, "Kleenex."

Feb 7: in my last week as nursery leader, half the kids didn't show up. of the three that did, one crawled under a table and slept through the entire class, another slipped on a napkin and split his lip open (blood everywhere), and the last was Elizabeth, who had a complete breakdown in sacrament after nursery. sigh.

Feb 5: Peter: "Lizbeth, say 'I love you Daddy'" Lizbeth: "I love you...Me!"
The night before it was Peter: "Lizbeth, say 'I love you Daddy'" Lizbeth: "I love you...Grandpa!"
This morning it was Peter: "Lizbeth, say 'I love you Daddy'" Lizbeth: "I love you...Song!"
(She did say "I love you Daddy" a couple times later that week, so perhaps she's done with that game now.)

Feb 4: told Lizbeth to come put her shoes and coat on for a walk with Grandpa, then got her boots out of the closet. She looked confused for a moment, then said, "Boots are kinda like a shoe." then she nodded her head and let me continue.

Feb 4: Right now, she's especially interested in books based on disney movies like Winnie the Pooh, and Sleeping Beauty and Pixar movies like Finding Nemo and Toy Story. We got a picture book of Toy Story 2, which she hasn't seen, and she will often tell me out of the blue that Woody and Buzz were riding on the horsey, or that Woody's doggie came to help him.

Feb 4: woke up late to find Lizbeth up and waiting for me. The first thing she said was, "Oh, I need a piggie." that accomplished, she said, "I need a little bag to put the piggie in. Just the right size for the piggie." I found one of those too, and she put the pig in, and was satisfied. She abandoned the piggie and started playing with balls. I have no idea what was going through her mind, but it was important to her.

Feb 3: This morning Elizabeth told me, "I need to take off da clothes and be warm in da blue blinket." She managed to get her pants off, but no amount of tugging at the front of her jumper would remove it, thank goodness.

Jan 31: Today at church I was entertaining Elizabeth with a Bible ABCs sticker book. Angels, Bethlehem, Christ Deciples, Eve Fruit, Gethsemanie, Hands, Israelites, Joshua, etc. We were putting stickers on the Water and Wine page when Elizabeth said, "Go back to Gethsemanie. I realized after some confusion that the speaker was telling the story of somebody's dream of seeing the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemanie. It made me happy that she had been paying enough attention to the book to learn the new word, and enough attention to the talks to hear the word she had just learned. Kids pay a lot more attention to stuff than we think.

There's a lot more of this kind of thing on my facebook wall, if you want to friend me and go back and read older posts.

This is from New Years day. Lizbeth's friend Joel decided to throw a snowball at her head, and she decided to laugh at it. I'm so glad she has a sense of humor around him because otherwise his boyish energy could get intimidating at times. As it is, she loves going to Joel's House and while she's there they chase each other around and laugh and laugh and laugh.

Here's another one of them together. Elizabeth loves to pretend like she's sleeping, and wrap herself and anything else that's handy up in blankets to keep warm. Just as I was taking this photo she said, "I am sleeping with Joel." I just had to laugh.

More of the sleeping game. She will seriously spend hours doing this. She wraps herself, her stuffed kitties and sheep, her golf balls balls, Mama's head, Grandma's big Snoopy dog, or anything else within reach then snuggles for about five seconds before getting up and rearranging everything.

Here the poor girl is in the hospital with croup on her birthday. She totally lost her voice, and none of us got much sleep for several days, but she came through like a trooper.

Later that day opening a birthday present from Aunt Shirley. It's a baby that swims in the bathtub and blows bubbles. Of course if you turn it over so the air intake hole in the back of her head is under water, then she spits a magnificent stream of water all over the bathroom and makes your tired sick girl gleeful for the first time in days. Thanks Shirley!

I wanted to make cards with handprints on them for Valentine's Day, so here we are fingerpainting.

When Elizabeth made this smudge, she got excited and said, "An A'gator!" As she can talk more, it's easier to see that she has quite an active imagination.

Here she is at the park by the pond. She's so cute.

At the zoo with her cousin Anna. Heather's plane was late, and we stopped at Wendy's before getting to the zoo, so we ended up arriving something like two minutes before they closed the gate for the day. Luckily, they'll let you wander around for about an hour after that without bugging you to leave, so a serious crisis was averted.

Grandpa Randy went and bought more than a ton of coal to add to his emergency supplies and eventually run his steam engine with. He was very pleased when it snowed a few days later and he could make a snowman with two eyes made out of coal :)

Here are Lizbeth and Anna feeding the ducks with Grandma Becca at the pond. The girls ate almost as much of the bread as the ducks did.

Another cute photo of Elizabeth wearing a hat Marcelle made for her. Isn't she pretty?

Chapter 11 by Isaiah

2010-02-21T10:41:00.000-08:00

Chapter 11:     1 And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots:
    2 And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord;
    3 And shall make him of quick understanding in the fear of the Lord: and he shall not judge after the sight of his eyes, neither reprove after the hearing of his ears:
    4 But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth: and he shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth, and with the breath of his lips shall he slay the wicked.
    5 And righteousness shall be the girdle of his loins, and faithfulness the girdle of his reins.
    6 The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.
    7 And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
    8 And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den.
    9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea.
    10 ¶ And in that day there shall be a root of Jesse, which shall stand for an ensign of the people; to it shall the Gentiles seek: and his rest shall be glorious.
    11 And it shall come to pass in that day, that the Lord shall set his hand again the second time to recover the remnant of his people, which shall be left, from Assyria, and from Egypt, and from Pathros, and from Cush, and from Elam, and from Shinar, and from Hamath, and from the islands of the sea.
    12 And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth.
    13 The envy also of Ephraim shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off: Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex Ephraim.
    14 But they shall fly upon the shoulders of the Philistines toward the west; they shall spoil them of the east together: they shall lay their hand upon Edom and Moab; and the children of Ammon shall obey them.
    15 And the Lord shall utterly destroy the tongue of the Egyptian sea; and with his mighty wind shall he shake his hand over the river, and shall smite it in the seven streams, and make men go over dryshod. 16 And there shall be an highway for the remnant of his people, which shall be left, from Assyria; like as it was to Israel in the day that he came up out of the land of Egypt.

Today while playing with blocks, Elizabeth decided that the arches looked like beds, and that it would be just the right size for her Little People lamb (one of her favorite toys). She put the lamb in, and put another arch on top for a "quilt" and was very pleased with the result. Then, out of nowhere, she said, "A lion! A lion! I need a little lion!" I got the Little People lion and handed it to her, but she didn't like him, and kept asking for a "little lion." I saw this tiny stuffed lion on the floor and handed it to her, and she put him into another arch bed right next to the lamb. I thought it was just to cute to pass up getting a photo of, so here it is.

I thought you might also like to see how she has been playing lately, so I took two long videos. She can go on like this for quite a long time, playing, talking to herself, singing snips of songs, narrating what she's doing, and giving praise like "Good job!" and "That's pretty neat!" Most of what she says is in complete sentences now (or at least as complete as the rest of us use in conversation), and it's really fun to see what phrases she has picked up.

The Answer is a Waffle -- a breakfast poem by Gregory K. Pincus

2009-10-08T13:48:00.000-07:00

The Answer is a Waffle

What’s my favorite breakfast food?
That’s easy to decide.
It’s eggs cooked over easy with some bacon on the side.

Although, it might be cereal.
Or maybe jam and toast.
Actually, it’s cream of wheat that I enjoy most.

Or maybe, come to think of it,
It’s bagels with some lox.
Or maybe pancakes. No, it’s fruit, cut up in bite size blocks.

Or wait a second. Let me think:
A restaurant buffet!
Or maybe it’s, well, I don’t know...
I guess I just can’t say.
--Gregory K. Pincus

I went looking for a breakfast poem with little hope of finding something good. I mean, I'm sure that there are good poems out there, by famous poets even, but a Google search for "Breakfast Poem" isn't always the most effective way to go about finding them. I do tend to get some interesting hits by lesser known poets this way though, so I generally give it a try before resoritng to more complicated searches. This time it paid off with this fun little poem from Gregory K. Pincus. On first skim, I thought it was merely adequate -- decent rhyme and meter, but not much to say...until I read the title again, and saw that the whole poem was a clever little pun.

The day after Heather posted some deeply cute breakfast conversations with her daughter Anna, Elizabeth decided to deliver up some breakfast cuteness of her own. I ran to get my camera, and this is the result.

I don't have much more to say. I've been pretty exhausted lately, since my thyroid seems to have quit doing its job, but I hope to do lots of small blog posts in the future rather than a couple big long ones.

Eencey Weencey Spider by Anonymous

2009-09-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

Eencey Weencey Spider: Eencey Weencey spider Climbed up the waterspout;
Down came the rain And washed the spider out;
Up came the sun And dried up all the rain;
And the Eencey Weencey spider
Climbed up the spout again.
--Anonymous

I had never thought about the authorship of this song before today, so I went and looked it up. According to Wikipedia, this song appeared in the early part of the 20th century in books of camp and folk songs, already having lost all attribution. I generally sing Itsy Bitsy spider rather than Eency Weency unless I'm doing Robert Fulghrum's idea and singing it to the tune of Ode to Joy.

Yesterday in church, all four of the little girls in nursery were really participating well in the singing. Even Elizabeth who is about a year and a half younger than the other three was trying to do all the actions -- even when she'd never seen them before. This is representative of everything she's been doing lately -- she's mimicing everything people around her do and say.

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting frequently in the last few months (OK, I think there have been 11 posts total this year) so that you could have vicariously have watched her progress, but it's been amazing. Sometime in May, she decided that she was going to get ready for Kindergarten. Having mastered the shapes by reading her sparkly shapes book, she up and decided to learn the letters. She started with the obvious round O and the very useful B (for ball and blanket) then spent hours demanding that we tell her which magnet she was pointing to. A lucky find at a garage sale got her foam numbers for the bath, and she learned them too. She's currently working on colors and grammar.

Meanwhile, she was picking up two, three, five, then up to ten new words a day. Eventually, she just started repeating any word that was unfamiliar, and we stopped counting. Sometimes this gave very cute results. The other day, we were coming home late, and as we came in the door, Grandpa Roly noticed that he hadn't turned on the front porch light for us. "Nuts!" he said, as he helped us inside. Elizabeth, who had finally falllen asleep a block from home, perked up and said "Nuts. Eat it." and wouldn't settle down again until I gave her some cashews.

It sometimes amazes me how much she listens. I can be listening to an NPR story about Blue Dog Democrats, and she'll say, "Rowf rowf" which is what dogs are currently saying in her world. Because of that, I've cut way back on listening to news, and started playing a lot more songs in the car. When she hears one she likes, she'll say, "'Gin!" and I'll play it a few more times. Her current favorites (which she'll sing along with sometimes) are the "Dig Dig Dig" song from Snow White, and several from Sesame Street: One Fine Face, Elmo's Song, C is for Cookie, and I Love Trash.

She also picks up phrases. She says, "I see you!" when she wants to play peekaboo. She also likes "Oh, I see!" and "Happy to YOU!" (leaving out the word Birthday for some reason).

She's participating in reading books more and more. Last night we got a video of her reading Worms Wiggle with me and she could read every other word. It's also fun to hear her read Moo, Baa, La la la

On the grammar front, she's been putting words together into phrases like "Daddy's Shoes" for quite some time now. Nouns get some kind of adjective applied to them on the second or third repetition of a sentence (She's serious about practicing). Favorite adjectives include Big, Little, Mommy's, Daddy's, Roly's, Nice, Happy, Sad, Same, or a guess at what color it is. Whenever we hear a baby cry, she will comment that the baby or boy or girl is sad, and she loves to find happy faces on all the pumpkins around this time of year. (She also loves to find happy faces in her collection of balls, and one day, when there weren't enough, she had us draw happy faces on most of the plain golf balls).

She's making complete sentences now, when she has something to communicate other than "Look, there's a _______!" Usually, the object of the verb is "it" as in "Get it" or "Mama do it" but more and more often, she has a real subject verb and object in the sentence. The order isn't always the way I would say it -- Last night she said, "Kitty bag in" -- but it still got the point across.

She's also trying to conjugate and decline words. She noticed that Dog was sometimes Doggy, so for a while she tried putting a Y on the end of many words to see which ones we responded to. Recently, she's been doing the same thing with -ing. It works fine when she puts it on verbs, but it's terribly cute when she puts it on nouns and we hear about kittying.

Most of the time she pronounces things very carefully, and gets them just right. She has no problem with tricky sounds like the ir in Girl and Bird. She doesn't leave off the ending sounds -- on the contrary, she says them very deliberately, and sometimes with too much stress, but that's cute too. She does get R and L sounds mixed up occasionally, and she'll throw an extra sound in to some words (for instance, Fish is Firsh). She rarely will leave off the initial sound of a word like sanke, but I think that that shows a problem with the way she was taught the word. "Snake goes sssssss ssssssnake" she very understandably thought that nake was the animal, and sssss was the sound.

Generally, I try to do as my Language Development teacher in college suggested: When the child makes a "mistake" (usually by overextending a rule that they're learning, or mispronouncing a word) you shouldn't correct them as if they're wrong, or they'll be hesitant to try again. on the other hand, you should model the correct way to say it. To take one of the examples above, in response to "Kitty bag in" I said, "OK, we'll put the kitty in the bag." Or, if I point to an animal and say, "What's that?" and she answers "Meow mow" instead of saying, "No, it's called a kitty" I'll say, "That's right, a kitty says meow meow."

I like the geneal idea of this, but sometimes I think it works too well. The adorable mispronounciations and baby talk are fleeing far too fast. I treasure the few that I do get. One of my favorites is "Cakoo" (which sounds like cukoo with an ah sound) meaning crocodile. She has a little pop up book with a crocodile eating everything in sight, which she can recite about half the words to while reading it to herself:

Crocodile wakes, his jaws go crunch. -- Cakoo crunch
Down goes breakfast -- Bekfast
Later lunch -- La'er lurch
Later still and feeling thinner he eats his grandmmother for dinner -- Gamma
He sighs, Now what am I to do?" -- Doooo
And grinning wide he looks at you -- at yooooooou!

One final thing I want to mention is names. She discovered recently that other people have names. She figured out without any prompting that Daddy was also known as Peter and Mama was Karen. She can identify several people in pictures, especially Grandma (Gamma) and Grandpa (Gmpa). She loves to come and tell me about the picture of herself with her friend Joel that's currently my desktop wallpaper, and that's how I discovered one other mispronounciation that I had been missing. She came up to me, climbed up on my lap and pointed to the computer screen. "Joel!" she said. "Weee!" (the picture is of the two of them on a double glider swing) "Leefun!" (What?) "Leefun." (There's no elephant in this picture. There's a slide, but she can say slide.) "Leefun Joel wheeee!" At that point, I realized that Leefun was her way of saying "Lizbeth" I think it's odd that a girl who can say Trampoline without trouble can't say the word she hears most often -- her own name! And yet, in the week that has elapsed since then, it's already evolved to Leesun which is not too far from Lisa which is not to far from Lisabeth.

Well, to end, I'll give you an idea of how much she's talking with this video of a typical ten minutes of her playing in the basement.

Home by Edgar Guest

2009-09-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

Home

It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home,
A heap o' sun an' shadder, an' ye sometimes have t' roam
Afore ye really 'preciate the things ye lef' behind,
An' hunger fer 'em somehow, with 'em allus on yer mind.
It don't make any differunce how rich ye get t' be,
How much yer chairs an' tables cost, how great yer luxury;
I ain't home t' ye, though it be the palace of a king,
Until somehow yer soul is sort o' wrapped round everything.

Home ain't a place that gold can buy or get up in a minute;
Afore it's home there's got t' be a heap o' livin' in it;
Within the walls there's got t' be some babies born, and then
Right there ye've got t' bring 'em up t' women good, an' men;
And gradjerly, as time goes on, ye find ye wouldn't part
With anything they ever used -- they've grown into yer heart:
The old high chairs, the playthings, too, the little shoes they wore
Ye hoard; an' if ye could ye'd keep the thumb marks on the door.

Ye've got t' weep t' make it home, ye've got t' sit an' sigh
An' watch beside a loved one's bed, an' know that Death is nigh;
An' in the stillness o' the night t' see Death's angel come,
An' close the eyes o' her that smiled,
an' leave her sweet voice dumb.
Fer these are scenes that grip the heart,
an' when yer tears are dried,
Ye find the home is dearer than it was, an' sanctified;
An' tuggin' at ye always are the pleasant memories
O' her that was an' is no more -- ye can't escape from these.

Ye've got t' sing an' dance fer years, ye've got t' romp an' play,
An' learn t' love the things ye have by usin' 'em each day;
Even the roses 'round the porch must blossom year by year
Afore they 'come a part o' ye, suggestin' someone dear
Who used t' love 'em long ago, an' trained 'em jes' t' run
The way they do, so's they would get the early mornin' sun;
Ye've got t' love each brick an' stone from cellar up t' dome:
It takes a heap o' livin' in a house t' make it home.
--Edgar Guest

I hesitate to post this poem by Edgar Guest, mostly because he is one of the few authors Lemony Snicket seems to dislike in the Series of Unfortunate Events. In the Grim Grotto, the narrator says, “every noble reader in the world agrees that the poet represented on Fiona’s uniform was a writer of limited skill, who wrote awkward, tedious poetry on hopelessly sentimental topics.” A few people seem to have trouble with this judgement. While looking for the quote above, I found an An Open Letter to Lemony Snicket (and Robert Bork) in Modest Defense of Edgar Guest In one of the footnotes, he cites somebody else who says, "Yes, most of his poetry is undistinguished, but some is charming and enjoyable. What did he do to be held up (as it seems in this book) as a symbol of evil mediocrity?"

I personally don't think he deserves quite the treatment he got from Snicket (who, after the introduction quoted above, hammered his point home every chance he got through the rest of the book), but on the other hand, I don't think that just saying that your father's favorite poem was "It Couldn't Be Done" is a cogent argument proving that Guest was a great poet worthy of the world's respect and honor (that seems more like a reflection on said Grandpa's taste in poetry than on Guest's merits as a poet).

All in all, I'd put Guest's poems above the level of moralizing tripe, but I definitely agree that the words tedious, sentimental, and mediocre apply to much of what he's written. That's not to say that his poems don't have their place. We were talking the other night at the monthly meeting of the Utah Valley Nerds Group, and all agreed that the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys (and Three Investigators and Trixie Belden, and Animorphs, et cetera) books have an important place in the development of reading skills. Because they're easy to read, and have predictable plots, and most importantly, they're comfortable for kids, reading a whole bunch of them in a row increases fluency and encourages a love of reading in general. I know I certainly went through a Nancy Drew and Babysitter's club phase myself. If Guest's poetry, with its comforting sentiments and dtrong rhyme and meter can draw a certain group of people into reading poetry at all, that's a success (though as with Eragon -- which I've heard the same argument used to defend -- being successfull doesn't mean it's not also mediocre).

Well enough with the introduction, on to the news. I would like to announce that although it takes a heap of unpacking to make a house a home, I have finally finished moving us in to the Salem house! There are no more things sitting in boxes waiting to be unpacked. There are pictures on the walls. There is a place for everything, and at least for the time it took me to take these pictures, everything was in its place!!!!!

Because this post is so long already, I won't embed every photo. I'll just give you a link to the album in Picasa and let you go from there. Each photo has a description on it, so I figure if you put them all together, it's kind of like a blog post. I only have pictures of the finished basement area since the upstairs is still kind of a work in (interrupted) progress with Mom and Dad back in Ohio. Just to refresh your memory and give you a sense of perspective, here is a floorplan of the house (the album that's from has shots of the house from before we moved in, if you never saw those).

Of course, just because we've moved in, doesn't mean there's nothing left to do. It just means that I can feel good about just keeping house for a while before starting in on the repairing, repainting, and remodeling that still really needs to be done.

Bless This House by Helen Taylor

2009-09-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

Bless This House: Bless this house, Oh Lord we pray
Make it safe by night and day.
Bless these walls so firm and stout
Keeping want and trouble out.

Bless the roof and chimneys tall.
Let thy peace lie over all.
Bless this door that it may prove
Ever open to joy and love.

Bless these windows shining bright
Letting in God’s heavenly light.
Bless the hearth, a-blazing there
With smoke ascending like a prayer.

Bless the people here within.
Keep them pure and free from sin.
Bless us all that we may be
Fit Oh Lord to dwell with thee.

Bless us all that one day we
May dwell O Lord with thee.
--Helen Taylor

Daddy asked me to find a copy of this song to play at our housewarming/ home dedication on August 23rd. I had an instrumental version in my collection, but Daddy said he'd get too emotional if he tried to actually sing it, so Peter found a youtube video, transferred it to his iPhone, plugged that into the auxiliary port on the Bose radio upstairs, and played it that way. Isn't technology wonderful?

At the housewarming, we had a huge crowd of relatives. Uncle Doug was in town, as were Maryanne, James, and their son. Martha was there with Isabella and Sam (Aaron was in the hospital after a followup procedure on his heart). Uncle Steve, Aunt Sue, TJ and Carter all came. Ryan and Trudy, brought their boys Ethan and Caleb. Adam was there with his wife and daughter. Aunt Shirley even came, and of course, Mom, Dad, Grandpa Roly, Elizabeth, Peter and I were all here to begin with. In all, we counted 26 people! Grandpa Roly said it had been a long time since nearly his whole family was together and happy, and was very touched.

Of course, before the party, there was a LOT of work to get the house ready. The first POD arrived on Tuesday, August 11th. That day we worked ourselves to the point of exhaustion hauling the literal TONS of stuff, furniture and boxes inside, and then when the POD was empty, beginning to unpack so that we'd have room for more boxes the next day. We fell into bed, and woke up the next morning to do it again on Wednesday, and yet again on Thursday. On Friday, we had a break of sorts (they didn't deliver another POD) so we cleaned and emptied the Provo apartment, then went to Grandpa's house in West Jordan and hauled all my stuff up from the basement and boxed up the things Grandpa decided to bring. Saturday, we loaded it all into a Uhaul truck (Which was a huge hassle to get -- I'll have to devote an entire post to that ordeal), drove back down to Salem, and unloaded it all. Sunday, we got a true Day of Rest, and were thankful for it, but then we had to start all over again with three more PODS on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Each of the PODS was stuffed to capacity -- not always space wise, but certainly always weight wise. The official limit of what the machine can lift is 6000 lbs (three TONS!!), and Mom and Dad were always at or over the limit. With six pods and a truck, we figure we had about twenty tons of stuff to haul into the house and put away.

We did have some things to help us though. Daddy rigged up a ramp going up the front steps, and with the dollies that Tim and a neighbor loaned us, we could haul heavy furniture, stacks of boxes, or even (heaven forbid) refrigerators and full filing cabinets up the stairs without having to lift them straight up. We also had lots of help. The neighbors/ward members pitched in day after day with Elder's Quorum, High Priest's Group, and Young Men all cycling through to do some of the worst lifting (we even had one of the Young Women come and play with Elizabeth and keep her entertained while I couldn't give her the attention and comfort she wanted).

The lifting help was most important because Mom couldn't lift anything with her back in such bad shape (it went out again a few weeks ago), and Grandpa shouldn't lift anything (because of his heart -- and his balance isn't too good either these days). I could carry in a lot of light loads, but I quickly found that if I wanted to keep being able to work at all, I had to know my limit and stick to it. That left Daddy as the only one who could physically do most of the work, and he had spent the last several weeks loading it all IN to the PODS!

Along with the Ward members mentioned before, we also had help from the Utah Valley Nerds group. They were supposed to come help us load Saturday morning, but they all decided they were too lazy to get up that early on a weekend (these are Nerds we're talking about, you know) so they decided to hire us some help in the morning, then come down and unload in the afternoon instead. We got pizza (and it took the delivery guy about an hour to find the house which was less than a mile from the pizza place, and even in the same town (which, after all only has 5000 people, so how hard can it be???)) and everybody sat around and talked in the shady room under the willow tree for a couple of hours after we finished. Heidi (Lesli's sister) is a part of that group, but couldn't make it that day, so she came another day and helped to unpack and break down boxes (we have really felt the love from Lesli's siblings in our moving -- Mark, if you'll remember, went far above and beyond helping us unload the POD from California in April). Ryan and Steve also worked hard on Saturday, bringing first one, then the other refrigerator from West Jordan (the first one's door was so wide it hit the kitchen counter and wouldn't open all the way).

After all the unloading, we still had to work 12-14 hour days unpacking and finding homes for everything. There were, you'll remember, TONS of books, that Dad and I assembled shelves for, and Mom sorted and shelved. I can easily believe there was another thousand pounds of games and toys to find shelves for and put away in the basement playroom. Then there was the food storage, and suitcases, boxes and bins of baby clothes, Christmas decorations, and various gifts and such to build shelves for and arrange in the storage room, and then there was all the fabric and American Girl stuff that went into the fabric room, not to mention the clothes, beds, dressers, and dishes that had to find homes in other parts of the house.

By the time Saturday the 22nd rolled around, we had made incredible progress, but when Mom announced the size of the party we were having, we realized that we had a lot of work left to do. There were boxes that still needed to be emptied, more boxes to break down and dispose of (thank you Craigslist and Freecycle), and even more boxes to hide in the fabric room, storage room, and office (which were designated as official uncompleted projects). Then we had to decorate by finding, and then arranging art and other knickknacks. Then, of course, there was the cleaning and vacuuming (moving in is VERY messy work), and the cooking of enough food to feed 26 people. We got the place looking presentable, and had a lovely evening with the family. All the kids were thrilled with the big playroom, and aside from a few arguments over what constitutes a turn on the rope swing (your feet can touch the floor three times, unless the other person isn't watching, and then you take as many swings as you can manage, but if you walk away for any purpose other than getting a running start, then you forfeit the rest of you turn, etc) and a frantic few minutes when they thought there was only one foam sword in the house (little did those children know who they were dealing with), they mostly got along.

After the party, there was several hours' worth of cleanup, and then even more unpacking to do the next week. Daddy also spent a lot of time fixing all those little things that have to be done when moving into a home. For instance, he changed six light fixtures for me, and took apart my toilet so that I could give it a really good cleaning in places where the sun doesn't figuratively shine. Mom did a lot of cleaning in her bathroom as well, and painted some of the places in most dire need of it (including my kitchenette downstairs).

Well, it's after 11:00, and I have to go to sleep, so I'll leave more for another day. I know that you want photos, and a full tour of the house, and an update on how Elizabeth is progressing (two words: leaps and bounds!), and how we like the ward and the neighborhood etc, but there simply isn't room in one post. So because I'm lazy and tired, I'll just give you the one shot that Peter took with his iPhone and sent out to the family lists already.

The Day Before Moving by Tom Atkins

2009-07-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

The Day Before Moving: One by one the boxes fill,
books, lamps, pictures,
the arcana of your every day life

carefully put away, packed
with care, packed and marked,
then piled one on the other

in a great mass of cardboard
in the room you used to call the library.

Each day less and less
of a lifetime of accumulation
is still accessible, and yet

you miss far less of it than you imagined.
You are comfortable with a few pans,
a few books, your desk

and your thoughts,
thoughts not of leaving this place
you have lived all your life,

but rather, of where you go,
for your past is always with you,

a warm blanket of memories,
of people you love and who love you
beyond distance, beyond time,

never really left behind.
But what lies ahead! Adventure,
a new place to live,

not just a house, but a heart
whose nooks and crannies await
exploration of the tenderest love.
--Tom Atkins

This picture is of the play structure in the basement living room of the house we'll be moving into next week.
Here's an email I sent out to various people today.:

OK, we have more details about moving in August. For anyone who hasn't heard, we (Karen, Peter and Elizabeth Ahlstrom) will be moving in with my parents (Randy and Rebecca Stay) and my Grandpa (Roland Holt) in a house they're buying in Salem, UT. We'll be able to move in (I think) starting August 7th.

My parents are shipping their containers from Ohio to Salem, UT and they will arrive probably on the 10th of August. There's a LOT of stuff coming, and we'll need help unloading. If anyone is available to help at any time of day or night between the 10th and 15th (or help arranging and unpacking boxes later) in Salem, we'd love to see you.

We need to move several carloads of stuff (and a few larger items that'll need a pickup truck) from our apartment in Provo down to Salem sometime before the 21st, and clean the Provo apartment to check out.

On the 15th, we'll have a moving truck at my Grandpa Roly's house in West Jordan at about 8:30 am and will be filling it until about noon with stuff that Peter and I have stored there for the last few months, and stuff my Grandpa wants to bring down to Salem. That afternoon, we'll be unloading that truck in Salem -- we have to return the truck that night, so we'll need help to get it finished in time. If you can help in either location that day, we'd really appreciate it.

If you can provide babysitting or on site entertainment for my daughter Elizabeth (18 months old) and/or other helpers' children, either on the 15th or for a couple of hours on any of the other days we'll be working, that would allow me to work and direct where my things ought to go without worying about safety for little ones.

If you can help any of these days for any amount of time, please either email or call me so that I can get a count.

Thanks SOOOOOO much!

-Karen Ahlstrom
and Peter, Elizabeth Randy, Becky, and Roland too!

It's been kind of crazy the last few months trying to figure out what the living situation is going to be when we have to leave our apartment in August. When we rented this place in April, we were pretty sure we'd be moving into Grandpa Roly's basement when he returned home after resolving all the details of nursing home bills and such in Ohio. That would give my cousins (who are currently living at Grandpa's house) time to find somewhere new, and give Grandpa time to make sure he really wanted to have us living with him, and give Dad time to finish the basement so it's more than bare concrete with insulation falling from the ceiling.

Then Daddy found a house online and it looked like we'd all be moving to a ginormous duplex style home up on the hill in North Provo. Then he realized that there might be foundation issues that could cause the house to fall down the mountain, so he went looking for other houses. After rejecting an old 1800's chateau and an unfinshed cookie cutter house out in Saratoga Springs, he settled on the Salem house. So after saying they'd move west eventually for 20 years or so, they finally are!

So that meant that we would only be living at Grandpa's house with him until he deciided to sell it (perhaps in the spring). And if we're not going to be living there long, we might just finish one or two rooms instead of the whole basement. And then, maybe we don't have to finish the basement at all -- for a couple of months we could all live upstairs. And finally, let's let the cousins stay at Grandpa's house, and we'll all move in together in Salem!

I'll admit, it's a little scary how fast everything has moved, but I'm glad to know what the plan is for now at least. I've also been frustrated hearing about all the packing and sorting they're doing in Ohio (and how much work there is left to do), while I'm twiddling my thumbs out here trying to fill my days by going to DI and garage sales to find stuff to repair and/or sell on ebay so that I can keep buying more junk. Ah well, there'll be plenty for me to sort and help with next week. If you want to come help too, give me a call!

My Shadow by Robert Louis Stevenson

2009-07-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

My Shadow: I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,
And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.
He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;
For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,
And he sometimes goes so little that there's none of him at all.

He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,
And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.
He stays so close behind me, he's a coward you can see;
I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!

One morning, very early, before the sun was up,
I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;
But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,
Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.
--Robert Louis Stevenson

I didn't have much success finding a ball poem in the amount of time Elizabeth was willing to let me look, so I went to my backup list, and found this poem that at least mentions balls.

Since I have a wide computer screen, I've been showing Elizabeth Youtube videos on one half to keep her happy while I check email on the other half. I have several playlists full of old Sesame Street clips, and songs from Disney movies, but what she's especially fascinated by are random videos of Doggies, Kitties and Balls. Dogs and cats are pretty safe to search for on youtube, but balls are more problematic, if you catch my drift.

Thinking about a solution made me remember that my old computer had AfterDark installed, so I hooked it up on the spare desk, and turned on the Marbles! module where marbles drop from the sky and bounce off pegs before settling. When I showed Elizabeth, this was her reaction:

While I'm on the subject, here are a few other fun videos of Elizabeth's ball obsession.

Roll the Ball:

Elizabeth's first strike:

Elizabeth and I played a fun game where she'd roll balls from my knee to my toes where they'd ski jump. In this video, she only does it once before deciding she'd rather kick her legs like the kids doing karate on Sesame Street

Later that day, we found that the chair made an even better ski jump for the balls than my legs do.

So if you'd like to support her addiction, send me links to your favorite youtube videos of Balls, Kitties, Dogs, Nursery rhymes, Finger plays, Vintage Children's Television, and whatever else you think Elizabeth would like to see. Also, if you know of any baby appropriate games (see babygamer.com has some examples of what I'm talking about here) that can be played offline, you can send me those links too!

Handprints by T. Lambert, Jr.

2009-06-19T19:20:00.000-07:00

Handprints: Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my handprint
On furniture and wall

But everyday I'm growing
(I'll be all grown someday)
And all those tiny hand prints
Will surely fade away.

So here's a final handprint
Just so you can recall
Exactly how my fingers looked
When they were very small.
--T. Lambert, Jr.

I remember the first time I heard this poem. My brother David (or maybe it was Steve) made a little handprint art in nursery school to give to Mom for Mother's Day. I thought it was really cute then, and I still like it a lot. I intend to do something like that with each of my kids.

Elizabeth has been making such great strides with talking lately, I thought I'd do one more "First Words" list before there are too many for me to remember. I did another one back in March as an email to my sister-in-law Marcelle, and I was surprised today to find out that I hadn't posted it to my blog. When typing it up, I've put the actual word first, and then if necessary, I've included her pronunciation of it. Finally, I give a short explanation of how the word is used. Since I didn't put her pronunciations is a consistent place, I've bolded the word as she says it the first time it appears in the entry.

When writing out the baby talk, I ran into some typographical issues. How, for instance, should I represent the way she says the word dog? She pretty much leaves off the g sound at the end, so "dog" sounds more like "do'" (though with the correct short o sound from "dog" rather than the oo/u sound in "do"). I decided to put in apostrophes for missing letters so that you can tell that I'm not just writing a shorter word that already exists with a different pronunciation.

With animals, sometimes she knows the name of the animal, and sometimes the sound it makes. She uses either one interchangeably at this point to label what she sees.

Toys and other nouns

Ball - "BaaAAllll" (at least three syllables). She LOVES balls right now, and so whenever she sees anything even vaguely round (logos on TV, pictures in books, blueberries, peas, some beads, etc), she says this word. When we went bowling in Ohio, she said it about every three seconds the whole time we were there. She also uses it generically for anything that catches her interest.
Balloon - "B'loon" Elizabeth often asks for balloons when we're at the grocery or dollar stores that sell them. She also likes to look for the red balloon in the Goodnight Moon book.
Bath - "Baaaa'" This generally means that she wants to take a bath, though last week, she said it while looking longingly at the spot where the wading pool had been in the front yard at Grandma Kathey's house.
Bead - This refers to the large scale beads for stringing, smaller ones on bead maze toys, and tiny ones on necklaces.
Beep beep - I put this one in toys because she says it with her toy car (When you push the horn, it has a human voice saying "beep beep" rather than just a beeping noise.)
Book - "Boo'" Again, she leaves off the last sound, but gets the vowel right. She never did quite figure out how to do the sign for book without my hands pushing hers together, so it didn't surprise me when she learned the word instead.
Bubbles - "Buh Buh" This word is used to refer to pictures of bubbles in bathtubs in books. She'll sometimes say it if I blow bubbles for her when she's in the tub, but never when she's outside. More often, she just makes a blowing noise to indicate that she wants me to blow some more.
Car - "Caaaarrr" She likes going for a ride in the car, and if I suggest it, she'll go wait impatiently by the door until I get my shoes and bag ready. She also has a Fisher Price ride-on car that talks and sings to her, and several car/bus shaped toys.
Cart - "Car'" I can only tell the difference between this and "car" by context. This word generally refers to shopping carts that she wants to ride in, including the one that lives at our apartment complex. It can also refer to laundry carts, and her little toy shopping cart (which she has found is just the right size for giving her little people toys a ride in).
Shoes - "Sshhooz" Like the "ch" sound in "Cheese", the "sh" sound in "Shoes" gets said very carefully.
Slide - "Sliii'" She generally just says "wheee", but lately, the actual word "slide" has been creeping in to her vocabulary.
Train - "Too too" is her version of Choo-choo. She uses it to talk about her Thomas the Tank Engine books, which she loves, and insists on reading even though I think they're boring or dumb. Peter thinks it's Thomas's round face that interests her.
Vroom - Grandpa Randy taught her the word Vroom when giving her rides on Great Grandpa Jesse's red walker/seat. Now, it refers to anything with wheels that goes including: bikes, motorcycles, scooters, cars, ride-on toys, tricycles, etc.
Wheee - This could be the noise you make as you go on a swing or slide, or it could mean, "I see a swing or slide and I want to go play on it."

Social

ABC's - "bee dee tee bee" She can't really say her ABC's, but she does recognize the song when her car sings it, and she'll sing along with syllables ending in the long ee sound
Baby - "Bay-bee" or "Bee-bee" This can refer to her dolls, a real baby (like her cousins Andy and Hazel last week), pictures of babies in books or on packaging (like cereal or diaper boxes), or to herself when she's feeling like she needs extra loving attention.
Bye - Repeats it when somebody says bye bye. Also when Daddy leaves for work, whether he actually says bye or not.
Daddy - "Da-da" is Peter.
Fix it - She doesn't say anything like these words, but she has a very distinctive squeal that means, "I'm very distresses or frustrated with this thing, come fix it for me!" She will stop squealing when I offer to fix it, and will often even bring whatever it is over to me. Common things that need to be fixed are her toy stroller, which collapses far too easily; her stool, which is too top heavy for her to right it after she pushes it over (it doesn't fall when she's standing on it, only when she deliberately tips it while standing on the floor); and when things are stuck going into or out of other things (one of her favorite games at the moment is putting-things-into-other-things)
Hi - generally used when pretending to talk on a cell phone (or anything vaguely cellphone shaped).
I Love You - "Ayeee la" After we say family prayers, Peter says, "Give Daddy hugs!" and holds his arms out wide. Elizabeth approaches warily, and is enveloped in a big bear hug, while Peter says, "Oh! I love you! I love you! I love you!" Once she's released, Elizabeth tries to say "I love you!" back, but she's only got the first part down so far.
It's a - "'tsa" this syllable often precedes her labeling of something else--especially when I ask, "What is it?" or "What do you see?" for example: "'tsa Baaaalllll"
La la la - Sometimes when we're singing to her, or a group of people is singing in church, she'll join in with "la la la." (She also likes to wave her arm like the music director)
Mama - That's me.
Round and Round - "Roun' roun'" Elizabeth uses this phrase when her car sings its "wheels on the bus" song, and also when doing the "round and round the garden" finger play. She also likes me to say it when talking about her dizzy dance, and what fans do.
No - "Noonoononono" The first couple of sounds in this word are more like "new" than "no." I almost hesitate to put this word on the list since she uses it so infrequently. I try very hard not to forbid things unless they're dangerous, and even then, I say things like, "Not right now" or "That's not for you" or "That's not a good game" or "That will hurt you" rather than simply "No." I don't want that to be one of the most important words in her life. I also try to notice what she's doing, and frequently say, "Oh! That's a good game!" or "That looks like fun" or "What a good job you did stacking those up" so that she hears at least as many positives as negatives.
Tickle - "Deedle deedle". almost any word with "le" at the end becomes a variation of deedle or doodle. See also: turtle, noodle, and cock-a-doodle-doo.
Uh-oh - This is what we say when something falls on the floor - generally at mealtimes or when she's throwing things from the shopping cart or stroller.
Yes - She doesn't really say "yes" but when we're trying to figure out what she wants and we list several things, she has a particular nervous/relieved laugh that says, "Heh heh heh you guessed it! That's right! Now give it to me quick!"

Food

Aaaah - As in, "Say Aaaah!" to get her to open her mouth to put food in. She often will say it to me to indicate that I should open my mouth and let her put food in (which I may or may not consent to do depending on how gross the bit of food or her fingers have gotten in the course of the meal).
Bean - An early favorite food and easy word to say.
Beef - When I prompt her with a list of options, she'll repeat this word to tell us what she's wanting at dinner.
Bottle - "Baa'll" (often hard to differentiate from Ball, we get this one mostly by context, and the fact that it's generally shorter in duration with a bit of a glottal stop)
Cheese - "Cchheeez" It takes a lot of effort for her to say the "Ch" sound, so she puts a lot of emphasis on that part of the word. This generally refers to string cheese, which is one of the things she looks for when I open the fridge, but can also refer to her other favorites: cheddar, American, or parmesan.
Cup - "Cu'" This can refer to her sippy cup at the table, but she uses her sign for drink more often. She uses "cup" to refer to stacking cups, and the cups she sees in the bathroom for storing toothbrushes, pouring water in the bath, and the paper ones I use to get water to help me swallow my pills.
Orange - "Rrrrr" It doesn't sound much like "orange" to me either, but it's the sound she makes while pointing impatiently at oranges, either fresh or mandarin in a can.
Pea - "Peez" Because they're shaped like little balls, frozen peas are the perfect snack for Elizabeth.
Noodle - "Noodle doodle" this is for any kind of pasta, which she really enjoys eating (especially rotini, spaghetti, and ramen).

Animals

Baa - This is what sheep say. She also uses this word when she puts on her lamb-ears headband.
Bee - she started noticing these in several of her books about other animals. She likes to play a game where she points to one of the bees on the page, then I go "Bzzzzz" and poke/tickle her with one finger.
Dog - "Do'" She still uses signs a lot for this one, but the word is starting to creep into her spoken vocabulary. Of course, she's also just as likely to make an excited kind of yelping sound, which may be her attempt at a bark, or may just mean, "Look Mama! I see a real live dog (or cat)! Isn't that exciting?! I wanna touch it!"
Cock-a-doodle-doo - "Doodle Doo" is what roosters say.
Duck - She sees lots of ducks: at the pond, in her books, and especially in the bath. She generally says the word in groups of three "Duk duk duk"
Kitty - This was one of her earliest words. It's generally said with a VERY high pitch, and more of a glottal stop than actual "tt" sounds. She's pretty excited, so it's about all she can do to squeak out "Key!" She also uses the excited yelp from "dog" to tell me about kitties.
Ook ook - "Oo oo ee ee" is what monkeys say
Moo - This is what cows say.
Roar - "Raar" is what lions say.
Turtle - "Deedle" See the explanation on tickle.

Elizabeth still uses a lot of signs as well.

Things

Ball (make hand into ball shape and twist back and forth) - This is only used for emphasis these days since she can say the actual word now.
Fan or pinwheel (fwoosh noise like blowing on something) - She also sometimes traces a circle in the air with her finger to be sure we understand.
Flower (breathe heavily or sniff) - it's supposed to be sniffing, but she was chronically congested for a while, and is only now trying to say flower with her nose. She notices these when we're out for walks, and often when they're in the background of pictures in books.
Hat (pat head) - Elizabeth has a box of hats and a mirror in her room. She likes to put them on and look at herself in the mirror.
Light (Flick fingers like popcorn song) - This used to be one of her favorite words, but she hardly ever says it anymore.
Rain (hands downward like rain falling) - I've been impressed at how well she has transferred this from the Itsy Bitsy Spider song to real life rain, especially since we had so little of it in California.
Toothbrush (finger across teeth) - Elizabeth loves brushing her teeth, and often when I'm having trouble getting her to stop playing and get ready for bed, I'll suggest brushing her teeth, and she'll drop whatever she's doing for this special treat. She likes to run the toothbrush under the water to rinse it, then tap tap tap it on the sink before putting it away in the cup. She hasn't quite figured out how to spit, but she's trying.

Social

Amen (two hands together like praying, then move them up and down) - She has also learned how to fold her hands at the beginning of a prayer. Sometimes she even interlocks her fingers. She doesn't always keep them folded through the whole prayer, but we're making progress.
Bounce with me (bounces body) - We were at Young's Jersey Dairy, and they had a moon bounce set up. Elizabeth saw it, and told me quite excitedly several times that she thought that bouncing in it would be fun. I didn't let her go in because I couldn't go in with her to pick her up when she fell over which I'm certain would happen every time somebody else jumped (which is what happens on a trampoline).
Bye Bye (wave) - She waves when prompted, but usually says the word "Bye." It takes her a while though, and the person is often already gone before she gets it out.
Clap your hands (Clap very carefully) - She took a long time to learn how to clap, and I think that she thinks it mostly means "Happy" since we finally got her to do it by singing the "Happy and You Know It" song. She can also stomp her feet and shout hooray.
Dance (turn around in a circle) - I'm not sure why she started dancing this way, but she does it often, and likes to move to music.
Hooray or Reaching high (two arms up high) - This action came from the "All About Me" book from Heather, and got transferred to the "Happy and You Know It" song. Elizabeth does indeed do this spontaneously when she's happy, and when I understand what she's saying, she claps her hands.
Peekaboo (hide behind hat or blanket and then peek out) - There's not much cuter than a game of peekaboo initiated by your toddler.
Please (rub chest) - She mostly says this only when prompted. Last week, her four year old cousin Kate kept asking her to do things and saying "please please please!" to convince her. Elizabeth usually didn't understand the requests, but obligingly said "Please" whenever Kate asked.
Thank You (Hand to mouth, then down) - This is another one the often takes prompting, but sometimes she'll surprise me by doing it spontaneously. Her version looks more like a salute since she often misses her mouth, and just moves her hand away from whatever part of her face it happened to hit.
Sleepy (Rub eyes) - This isn't something she chooses to say specifically, but I treat it like a sign in my interaction with her so that she might start using it as a sign, and so she'll associate that feeling with wanting to go to bed.

Food

All done (Wave hand from elbow in a dismissive gesture) - This was meant to have two hands, almost like an umpire saying "safe!" but Elizabeth chooses to use just one.
Applesauce (twist knuckle on cheek) - She just started using this one in the last week or two, though I've been signing it to her for months now. She also surprised me by using it to label the Apple inside on of her Fisher Price blocks.
Drink (finger in mouth with hand upside down like it's lifting a cup or bottle) -I use my thumb at my lips with a fist, but Elizabeth uses her pointer finger, and turns her whole hand upside down so we don't get confused and think she means "eat" She asks for drinks throughout the day as well as at meals, so I got her a water bottle that she can drink from whenever she's thirsty.
Eat (fingers to mouth) - When she starts eating dirt or books or toys, I know she's probably hungry as well. She doesn't often ask for food unless she sees something specific that she wants. Trying to climb into her high chair is another good sign that it's mealtime.
Goldfish (Make fish lips with a bit of a "pop pop" sound) - This is the same as the sign for fish in an aquarium or a tilapia fillet.
More (pointing to open palm) - I've finally got her using this one. At most meals, when she starts getting antsy, spitting out food, or throwing it on the floor, I ask, "Are you all done? or do you want more?" I used to have to assume the second, if she didn't sign "all done," but now I'm more confident that I'm giving her what she wants.
My cup or bottle is empty (Shake offending cup or bottle so that Mama can see that there's nothing left) - This one implies that she also wants a refill.
No, I don't want to eat that (shake head like no while avoiding the spoon) - This is where she says "No" most often. Since I generally keep giving her food until she makes it clear that she's done, this is an important thing to be able to indicate.

Animals

Bear (scratch chest) - We've been working on this one for a while, and she'll do it if I ask her, but she's not really interested in the bears in her animal books.
Bird (two fingers open and close like bird beak) - She doesn't do this one often anymore.
Bunny (make hand bounce up and down) - it's supposed to have two fingers up as ears like little bunny foo-foo. She has lots of stuffed bunnies, and makes them jump up and down too.
Doggie (pat leg, or anything else handy while panting) - This one looks like it won't last much longer because she's starting to say the actual word.
Fish (smack lips together like fish kisses) - This works for fish in an aquarium at the doctor's office, goldfish crackers, and also tuna or tilapia at dinner.
Frog (stick out tongue) - This is one of my favorites.
Giraffe (Trace your finger down your neck) - I've been signing this one to her for a while, but it wasn't until she got a Fisher Price Roll Arounds ball with a giraffe inside that she started using it herself.
Horse (bounce body like Mama is bouncing you on her knee) - This one isn't very frequent. It's another one where she thinks that I have to be involved.
Pig (push up on nose to make a piggy snout) - she aims for her nose with an index finger, but usually hits her mouth or cheek.
Spider (grab finger of one hand with other hand and twist like itsy bitsy spider) - I'm not sure she actually knows quite what a spider is other than the thing in the song.

Other communicative gestures

Get up! (yank on various body parts impatiently until Mama gets out of bed or off the couch) - This one generally happens on days when I haven't gotten much sleep the night before.
I want that (point with a whine or grunt)
I want to climb up (lifts foot) - Often onto chairs or beds
I want to nurse (Yank on Mama's shirt) - I deliberately misunderstood this when I was trying to wean her, and we sort of accidentally developed a game where she puts balls or other toys down my shirt and gets excited when they reappear at the bottom.
I want to sit in your lap and be cuddled (insinuate self into lap, often walking backwards) - This one is something she often does when she's uncomfortable, so it might also mean I need you to change my diaper.
Keep me safe/I'm scared (Cling to/hide behind Mama's leg) - She's pretty adventurous in general, but for a while she was afraid of the vacuum cleaner, and lately she's been frightened of strange men.
Pick me up (arms up or out with a whine or grunt)
Put some of that on my hand (Hold out hand expectantly with palm flat) - She usually says this when she sees the bottle of foaming soap in the bathtub or the spray on sunscreen. Sometimes she asks to wash and/or dry her hands when she sees me doing it.
Put this on (put piece of clothing near the appropriate body part) - especially shoes, hair clippies and hats.
Take this off (yank on clothing and whine) - I've been trying to introduce a new larger set of pajamas, but there's something about the feet that she doesn't like, and every time I put them on, she asks me to take them back off.
Take me there (point while being held)

Body Parts - Elizabeth can point to the following body parts on herself, someone else, a doll or a picture when asked. She doesn't have very good proprioception (knowing where a body part is when she can't see it) so she often misses when trying to point to things on her own face.

Head
Eyes
Nose
Mouth
Ears
Cheeks
Belly Button
Arms
Hands
Fingers
Legs
Feet
Toes

Round and Round the Garden by Unknown Author

2009-06-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

Round and Round the Garden: Round and round the garden goes the teddy bear (trace a circle on baby's palm with your pointer finger)
One step two steps (walk your fingers up baby's arm)
Tickly under there (tickle baby under chin)

(use same actions on other hand for verse two)

Round and round the garden goes the little mouse
One step two steps
In his little house.
--Anonymous

I found this little rhyme in a book of finger plays that I often read to Elizabeth. There are several minor variations out there, and you can find some good videos of it on youtube if you've never seen it done (Actually, as I was preparing this post, I found some great resources for finger plays and other interactive youtube videos that will be fun to do when Elizabeth decides she wants some computer time)

Anyway, we had Elizabeth's cousin Hazel visiting with us today since Barb had a conference at BYU, and needed a babysitter. At one point this afternoon, I did some fingerplays to entertain Hazel, and Elizabeth decided she wanted to join in. At bedtime tonight, she finished nursing before she fell asleep, so I thought I'd give her a little extra loving attention because she was so generous in sharing her Mama and her toys with Hazel today.

Using gestures, she asked me to spread out her Blue Blanket to cover her legs, then she pulled it up so her toes peeked out. I interpreted this as a request for "This Little Piggy," which we did on each foot. Then we did "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and one or two others that we'd also done this afternoon with Hazel. The last one I did was "Round and Round the Garden."

Elizabeth was in her sleepy, snuggly ticklish mood, so she enjoyed it a lot. Then she reached out and grabbed my arm, turned my hand over and started drawing a circle in my palm. She even said "Roun' roun'" which is what she says when her car sings "The wheels on the car go round and round." She was so sweet and cute as she did it! I said the rhyme for her, and showed her how to walk her fingers up my arm, but she didn't need any coaching to do the tickly bits under my chin. She did the whole thing several times, grinning and giggling. It was about the sweetest thing I've seen in my life.

We've been saying family prayers before bedtime. Elizabeth has learned how to fold her hands at the start (though they seldom stay folded for the whole prayer), and sign "amen" at the end. After prayers, we give hugs and kisses all around and say "I love you! I love you! I love you!" Elizabeth has begun to say "Ayeeeee" during hugs, which I think is the start of her own "I love you!"

It's so fun to get a peek into her mind. I taught her "If You're Happy and you Know It" a few weeks ago, and she will now clap her hands, stomp her feet, and shout hooray when I sing. Her face surely shows that she's happy when she does it too. What I really love though is that lately, at unexpected times, she'll put her hands up in the air and make her hooray noise. When I ask if she's happy, she'll grin and very carefully clap her hands.

What more can a mom ask for than a little girl who wants to play fun games, show me the same affection I show her, and spontaneously tell me how happy she is?

A Narrow Fellow in the Grass by Emily Dickenson

2009-05-15T18:40:00.000-07:00

A Narrow Fellow in the Grass: A narrow fellow in the grass
Occasionally rides;
You may have met him,—did you not?
His notice sudden is.

The grass divides as with a comb,
A spotted shaft is seen;
And then it closes at your feet
And opens further on.

He likes a boggy acre,
A floor too cool for corn.
Yet when a child, and barefoot,
I more than once, at morn,

Have passed, I thought, a whip-lash
Unbraiding in the sun,—
When, stooping to secure it,
It wrinkled, and was gone.

Several of nature’s people
I know, and they know me;
I feel for them a transport
Of cordiality;

But never met this fellow,
Attended or alone,
Without a tighter breathing,
And zero at the bone.
--Emily Dickenson

I think this was the first Emily Dickenson poem I ever read. I'm posting it today because I feel like I've been spending a lot more time in nature since we moved. I've been working on the landscaping at our new apartment, which needs serious help (though I'm told that they only recently cut down all the giant thorn bushes that were infesting the property, and haven't put anything new in). I've pretty much convinced my landlord to give me a budget for plants and gardening supplies, and he says that now that I've pulled all the rocks out of the dirt they dug up to fix the water main, he can probably get sod in during the next week or two. I haven't seen any snakes, but I have seen a bunch of centipedes, earthworms (which I now realize were missing in California), potato bugs, ants, robins, and quail in our yard.

I finally got a new computer yesterday. My last one was from 2002, and even with upgraded RAM, it simply couldn't keep up with the demands of the Internet and updated software. I've barely been able to check my email for the last couple of months. Our new apartment (along with the rest of Provo) has amazingly fast Internet service (it's a public utility here), so I was able to upload a whole bunch of videos that I've been waiting to share. I'll space them out in this blog post which will catch up on the last 6 months of very erratic posting and general life craziness. Hopefully, I can get back into a regular schedule of posting now that I have a computer worth using.

Let's see, the last time I posted something that wasn't a eulogy for a grandmother, or an email that I dropped into my blog for posterity, was before Christmas. We had a good Christmas, with plenty of presents for everybody.

Elizabeth was not interested in unwrapping packages, but she did enjoy the gifts them selves. She got a bunch of Fisher Price Little People and a sweater set that matches her baby doll's, but her very favorite things were the Busy Bug (a pull toy snail with a drum full of sorting shapes as his shell, and orange drumstick antennas) and her Christmas Orange:

I had never given her oranges before, but she so obviously loved it, that I've given her a lot more since, and they've become her favorite food.

In January, we went to Utah for Grandma Helen's funeral. The defining part of that trip was the enormous blizzard that blew in that weekend. We will miss Grandma Helen, though it was time for her to go home.

After the funeral, Mom and Dad came out to California to do their share of cleaning and emptying Grandma's house. That was a fun job, from an organizational perspective, but also very sad because we had to say goodbye to the house and Huntington Beach as well. I don't know if we'll ever go back there -- though I hope we will. Here's a video of Elizabeth enjoying the wonderful sand they have there on Huntington Beach. She really enjoyed knocking down sand castles, and interacting with the wildlife (sea gulls mostly, but also a hermit crab that Daddy caught).

While my parents were at our house, we celebrated Elizabeth's birthday, and she learned how to blow out candles (though we didn't get that part on video).

Happy Birthday Elizabeth! One whole year! It's pretty amazing to think about. I love you lots, and you're such a good clever little girl, you're a joy to be around :)

I had been looking forward to a couple weeks with my parents at the end of their trip west, but because Grandma died before they came, the whole trip got turned backwards and they only had a few days with me before they had to drive off to Mike's house to watch the boys, then visit David and his family.

While they were gone, I tried to stay cheerful by meeting my friends at the park each week. They were a HUGE support to me, and I hope I was to them as well. I will certainly miss Lisa, Susanna, Jen, Julie, Rachel, Christy, Lynne, and all their kids. Elizabeth will miss playing with them too. In this video, she and her friend Ari are having a yelling contest, and enjoying themselves thoroughly.

In this one, she's having a great time on the slide.

I think this is a good spot to put in the partial blog post that I began writing in February, but never finished.

Well, you can guess from my lack of posts that I've had a terrible month.

The last time I posted was around Christmas. I've been in therapy since the economic and family crisis craziness started last June, but even that wasn't enough to keep my spirits up under six months of constant stress and uncertainty. Seeing myself get more and more depressed and anxious, my doctors and I decided it was time to go back on medication. We picked a drug I haven't been on before because it's supposedly the best for breastfeeding. One real problem with it though is that not only does it take several weeks to kick in, but you actually feel worse before you feel better. It's one of the ones that increases suicides in some patients, and I got the full brunt of it. I had no energy, I felt like crying all the time, and some days it was impossible to make myself do even the simplest of tasks. I felt like I was swimming through molasses -- it was so frustrating!

One of the worst parts was that I knew there was no rational reason to be upset most of the time. I honestly couldn't trust, or often even interpret, what I was feeling or why...

...So yeah, I was feeling pretty lousy, and I was very sad that Mom and Dad left so soon. When I get depressed, I stop wanting to eat. I did make myself eat three meals a day, but with breastfeeding Elizabeth, I still wasn't getting enough calories in, and I began to lose a LOT of weight. Then, when my body's defenses were down, I caught some kind of viral tonsilitis, and couldn't swallow even if I wanted to. There's nothing they can do to treat the virus, so I just had to suffer for a week and a half, and boy did I suffer! I was really sure that without some kind of help, I was literally going to die.

With all my complaining, Mom and Dad drove back down the coast from Oregon, and nursed me back to health. Then, a week or two later, I flew out to Ohio for a three week visit. The stated purpose of the visit was to come up with a long term plan for deciding on and cooking meals, and to gain 15 pounds. Mom did her best to stuff me, but I only put on a couple of pounds while I was there. We did get a card file system worked out for choosing dinners, so that part of the trip was a success.

Elizabeth had a hard time learning to sleep in a new place, but when she was awake, she had no shortage of people to dote on her. Grandpa Randy was especially fun. Here, he's pushing her around on a tricycle (her feet can't reach the pedals), which he was willing to do over and over and over again.

It was bitterly cold and/or raining outside for a lot of our trip, so Daddy made a swing for her by tying a laundry basket to a rope hung from the balcony above. I love the noises Grandpa Roly made as he pushed her. She doesn't always look like she's really enjoying the swing, but she certainly objected when we'd try to take her out!

Heather was also feeling the need for some family support, and since I made her cancel her trip to my house that month (I didn't want her or Anna to catch the horrible virus I had), she decided to visit Mom's house while we were there instead. This video shows what the interaction between the two little ones was like most of the time they were together (except, interestingly enough, in the bathtub). Anna has a toy. Elizabeth takes it. Somebody gives Anna another toy before she gets upset. Elizabeth drops the toy she just stole, and takes the new toy. This sort of juggling could go on for 20 minutes at times.

Mom made the dresses, and knitted the sweaters (and even made a matching dress for 'Lizbeth's doll), and we just happened to be at her house together when they were just the right size for the girls. Mom had gotten out the bassinet for Steve and Rachel's baby shower, and we found that when just one of the girls was in it, they both felt a lot more secure.

Elizabeth decided that she liked climbing into things and sitting in confined spaces because it defined her territory, and Anna couldn't get there. Here's one of her favorite places to sit:

That trip was really good for me, and a momentous three weeks for Elizabeth. Soon after her birthday, she figured out how to go from taking a couple of large shaky steps before falling down, to taking several small steps in a row. Pretty soon she could really walk. When we arrived in Ohio, she was still a baby, but while we were there, I watched her turn into a toddler before my eyes. She could suddenly do so many more things, and even her posture changed when her main form of locomotion changed from crawling to walking.

Also on that trip, she got sick with an ear infection that took several courses of antibiotics to clear up. About that time, she also began throwing up on a regular basis, and did it for about five or six weeks. There was at least one night in Ohio that I spent sitting up in bed, holding her so she could sleep upright. I was very happy when dawn came and Daddy offered to do his patented soft talk and bounce walk around the house. He was able to get her to sleep, but he couldn't lay her down either.

One other major reason for the visit to Ohio was to see Grandma Fawnie. She had deteriorated a lot since I saw her in September, and each trip to the nursing home got harder than the last because her condition was frightening to the little girls. I knew, when I left, that I was saying goodbye to her forever, and the day after I got home, she died. I did manage to post a eulogy for her that week, so I'll leave it at that.

Of course, that meant we had to unpack from one trip, and pack and leave on another within less than a week. Elizabeth wasn't recovered from her ear infection yet, and this second trip was quite hard on her. The antibiotics she was taking gave her a horrible yeast infection that was red and sore all the time, and sometimes got so bad it was bleeding. She had to adjust to yet another place to sleep, in a house overcrowded with family, kids, and repressed emotions.

Here's a video of a quiet time we spent one night reading one of her favorite books before giving it to her cousin Anna to enjoy:

It was fun to have the whole family (minus Steve) together, but it was also a very rough time for everybody emotionally. We spent a lot of time remembering Grandma, but I don't think that anybody had the energy to really grieve for her while we were there. There were simply too many things that had to be done, too many schedules that had to be accomodated, just plain too many people for the house, and too many expectations that had to be met to stop and really feel any of it. I know it was especially hard on Mom, who had to organize and coordinate everything.

Back to the fun bits, here are Elizabeth and Jonas jumping on the trampoline at Uncle Steve's house after the funeral.

It was really good for Elizabeth to be in the house with Jonas, because he's big enough that he doesn't have to let her steal his toys. It took just one day to convince him to come tell an adult instead of pushing her down when she took something, but we all spent a lot of time trying to teach little ones to share the toy tools that Ryan's boys had left in the house.

Speaking of Jonas, he was a fun kid to be around because though he's old enough to talk, he still has his pronouns mixed up (a totally normal stage of language development). He thinks that "You" means "Jonas" since that's what people say to him, and "I" means "Other Person" because that's what other people say about themselves. It was a little hard to figure out what he was saying, until I realized that if you imagine he's prompting you with what he wants you to say, then it all makes sense. Nearly every time he'd see me, he'd say, "Hi Jonas!" and I'd reply, "Hi Jonas!" Then he'd say, "I have a flower in my hair!" and I'd reply, "I do, I have a flower in my hair!" and then I'd turn around and show him. There were also variations like, "Where's my flower?" until I realized that he wanted me to wear it all the time since to him, it was my defining feature.

Peter had a specific mission on that trip: find a job -- any job with benefits. He'd wanted to move to Utah so he could have friends to hang out with in person rather than just online, and with finances getting dire after he was laid off from his temp job, we were ready to try anything. He worked really hard, interviewing, and networking with everybody he could think of, and then his friend Brandon offered him a job as his personal assistant! It was the answer to our prayers, and we hurried back home to start packing --but not before visiting his sister Barbie and her daughter Hazel:

Back in California, we celebrated Easter by coloring eggs. I didn't want to chance the mess Elizabeth would make with a cup of dye, so I put her in a bib-shirt, and gave her a marker to draw on the egg with. It's one of the first times she's really figured out what a marker, pen, or even crayon is for, so that was exciting.

Then we started to pack. Generally, I would fill boxes while Peter entertained Elizabeth. When the PODS container arrived (like a U-Haul that they haul for you), we packed and packed amd packed stuff in. Elizabeth was kind of weirded out as everything she had ever known disappeared one box at a time , and she was left with a few things in the middle of empty rooms and white walls.

It was hard to leave the house that we had put so much time and energy and money into. We had to forclose because since the bottom dropped out of the housing market, the house was worth less than half what we owed. With the space rent so high in the mobile home park where we lived, 1/4 to 1/3 of the people couldn't afford to live there anymore, and every week brought more "For Sale" signs, more "Price Reduced!" fliers, and eventually, more abandoned mobile homes. We'd had it on the market for 10 months, and in the last few, nobody even came to look at it. We weren't allowed to move it, we weren't allowed to sublet, so when Peter found a job elsewhere, we decided we just had to walk away and start over. I felt, for a while, like the universe was telling me that everything I had done there was worthless. Still, before I left, I pulled all the weeds, got plastic put down under the last of the gravel and paving stones, and cleaned the house till it shined. It was silly, but I needed to do it for my own self respect, just like the pioneer women leaving their homes in Nauvoo had to sweep the floor one last time.

We sent the container off on a Thursday, my friends threw me a farewell party, and then we left on Sunday evening. I gave Elizabeth some Benedryl to help her sleep, and we drove all night. We arrived in Provo exhausted, but safe. We unpacked our cars into the new apartment while waiting for the POD to arrive, but after just one or two days, the maintenance problems, and the smell drove us to request a different unit. They let us move next door where we're much happier. Here is Elizabeth doing a Happy Dance she made up. She often just twirls around and around like this till she's dizzy.

When the POD finally arrived on Friday of that week, we went up to Grandpa Roly's house to unpack it. We had asked all sorts of relatives to help, but it wasn't a convenient day or time, so only Lesli's brother Mark was able to be there. We planned to get just the essentials out, then wait until Saturday morning when others might come, but Peter, Mark, and later Ryan, just kept right on hauling stuff to the basement till the POD was empty. Mark really went above and beyond the call of duty. Not only was he not really related to us, but he had also had a medical procedure done under general anesthetic that morning. He was still woozy and queasy from the drugs when he arrived. He was also nearly faint from hunger since he'd had to fast the day before the procedure, and hadn't been able to keep any food down since he'd woken up. We kept asking if he was all right, and telling him he could stop anytime, but he just kept right on going. It was amazing, and terribly kind of him.

We filled our cars with stuff to take to Provo, then on Saturday, I borrowed my cousin Jesse's truck to haul some of the larger pieces like the rocking chair. A week later, I went back to put the basement in order (the guys had just dumped stuff), and get a few necessary odds and ends I'd missed.

So now we're settled in Provo (for a few months anyway), and Elizabeth is enjoying the parks and the apartment building's yard. Once all her favorite things started appearing again, she took to the new house like she'd never lived anywhere else. Here's a video of our FHE activity the other night that shows how cheerful she is.

Well, this post has gone on much too long, but then again, I was trying to catch up on about six months of eventfulness. This summer I plan to: work in the yard, gain some weight, wean Elizabeth, go to Library Story Time a couple of blocks away, hang out at the water park a couple of blocks the other direction, and invite all my cousins over for dinner at least once.

The Germ by Ogden Nash

2009-05-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

The Germ: A mighty creature is the germ,
Though smaller than the pachyderm.
His customary dwelling place
Is deep within the human race.
His childish pride he often pleases
By giving people strange diseases.
Do you, my poppet, feel infirm?
You probably contain a germ.
--Ogden Nash

I picked this poem today because I wanted something short and easy to find a picture for. We've been hearing rumblings about the swine flu, and I'm surprised at how close to home it's getting. My mom says that they have confirmed cases at a school in Elyria, Ohio which is in her Ward, and my sister in law says that Park City Utah schools are closed because of suspected cases. Pretty scary.

I wanted to post an update for my friends in California, and anyone else who follows my blog but isn't on my family email lists. Here is an email that Peter and I sent out last night that covers most of the bases:

Our new address is the same as the one we've been handing out, but now it's #3 instead of #4.

Our first apartment had so much broken furniture and such a bad smell that we got them to switch us to the apartment next to it. Its furniture is not broken and the apartment doesn't smell. Hooray! There is the sound of water running constantly somewhere overhead, but presumably this is a problem with an upstairs apartment and can get fixed sooner or later.

Tomorrow the POD is going to be delivered to Grandpa Holt's house in West Jordan between 2:00 and 5:00 p.m. If anyone is around the area near 5:00 Friday or 10:00 Saturday morning and wants to help, call Karen's cell phone for directions! Unpacking it should go a lot more quickly than packing it did, but a couple extra hands will definitely help. We'll probably be moving the heaviest stuff (big
pieces of furniture) Saturday morning.

Elizabeth seems to be adjusting well to our new home(s) but she's waking up a couple more times during the night than usual. Hopefully with a better-smelling room and some of her own furniture she may be able to turn over and go back to sleep. She really enjoys having a large fenced-in grassy yard to walk around in. She likes to pick the dandelion stems once all the seeds have fallen off. We're right by the
big Provo library in the old Academy building, and there's a park a couple blocks away with a large installation of playground equipment. There's also a pool there with a water playground and two ginormous waterslides (like they should be in a commercial water park) that looks like it's getting ready to open up soon, so that should be something fun to do while we're here this summer.

Karen and I are tired from moving and from sleeping on bad mattresses. The air mattress we slept on the last week in our old place took a toll on us as well—Karen says she could not have taken another night of it. We are pleased to have arrived in Utah and that the trip went so well—Elizabeth slept all but about one hour of the drive.

I went to my new job at Brandon's house today and put in a good day's work, which was very satisfying. I started setting up the computer and then inventoried the boxes of books stacked in the basement.

Karen is looking forward to having real dishes, clean clothes, and Elmer's glue to fix the books that Lizbeth has been destroying. It will also be nice to go to our new ward on Sunday and see if we can make friends and find playmates for Elizabeth. lds.org says we are in the Provo 4th Ward, and the church building is two half-blocks away.

Peter

Peter mentioned the smell, but the words "bad smell" doesn't really do it justice. It smelled like somebody had wet the bed in Elizabeth's room, and probably the carpet underneath. It wasn't so bad when we had the windows open, but when I shut them at night (it gets pretty cold here), the stench was overwhelming. We tried just removing the mattresses, but that just spread the foul odor. The other maintenance problems were kind of overwhelming too. I wrote requests for the most urgent ones, and ended up with 19 workorders. There were holes and peeling paint (reportedly lead based) in the walls and ceilings and the light fixtures were literally falling out of them. The kitchen faucet dripped (and had mold underneath), one toilet wouldn't flush, one tub wouldn't drain, and the other wouldn't hold water in. The shower rod and most of the towel racks were broken or missing. Half of the drawers in the closets had lost their fronts which were sitting around with the sharp screws sticking out of them. Several pieces of furniture were broken in other dangerous ways. The couches had that sticky slightly feel of furniture where college guys have sat, sweated, eaten pizza, and wiped their hands on the cushions. The fluorescent lights in the vanity area buzzed, and the cabinets and drawers there couldn't be counted on to close let alone keep Elizabeth out. Somebody had stuffed a couple of rolls of old carpet and linoleum into the furnace closet making a horrible fire hazard, and on top of all that, there were ants!

The new apartment has obviously had a kitchen remodel recently, and the walls and ceilings have been repaired and painted as well. The furniture is obviously newer, and while the place still reeks of BYU student housing, at least it doesn't literally reek.

The drive went as well as could be hoped. We had to jump my car to get it started before we left Torrance (at about 7:30 pm), but it started up again every time we stopped on the way. I had to push myself to make it to Vegas, but once we were through the city, I had hit my second wind. We did end up stopping for about an hour in Mesquite to nurse Elizabeth and nap, but the cars had so much stuff in them that we couldn't lay the seats down so we didn't stay long. I thought we were going to make it all the way to Provo, but when we were still about an hour south of there, I got VERY drowsy and thought it would be best to stop and wake up. We went to a Burger King, ate some breakfast, and drank some caffeinated energy drink, and walked around a bunch before heading north for the last leg. I did give Elizabeth one dose of Benedryl as we set out from Torrance, but that lasted her the whole night, and though she woke up several times, she generally just fell back to sleep immediately.

Well, it's time to feed Elizabeth some lunch, so I'd better sign off. I want to write sometime about my feelings as we left our home, but I don't have time right now.

326 I cannot dance upon my Toes by Emily Dickinson

2009-04-15T15:59:00.000-07:00

I cannot dance upon my Toes: I cannot dance upon my Toes -
No Man instructed me -
But oftentimes, among my mind,
A Glee possesseth me,

That had I Ballet knowledge—
Would put itself abroad
In Pirouette to blanch a Troupe—
Or lay a Prima, mad,

And though I had no Gown of Gauze—
No Ringlet, to my Hair,
Nor hopped to Audiences—like Birds,
One Claw upon the Air,

Nor tossed my shape in Eider Balls,
Nor rolled on the wheels of snow
Till I was out of sight, in sound,
The House encore me so—

Nor any know I know the Art
I mention—easy—Here -
Nor any Placard boast me—
It's full as Opera—
--Emily Dickinson

You'd think that there would be lots of great poetry about ballet -- it's essentially poetry in motion after all. But perhaps it's a problem of synesthesia. Finding words to describe a dance is like trying to find the note on the piano that precisely describes the shade of lipstick on my Teela action figure.
I had high hopes when I began reading this poem posted to yahoo answers by a user called Christopher U

Ballet: As a symphony of legs float,
but round a single piroette,
on pointe she goes,
raised in majesty
and swept in pink silk,
covering her delicate slender tones,
in wonderous shades,
as she rises another falls,
slips are barely noticed,
but frowned on all the same,
monotonous drapes appear
so sleek and slender now it is
bathed in the warm glow of her face,
and she goes for that jump,
landing near perfect,
she is,
The Ballet Dancer
Source(s): me ;) this is my 78th poem i think now whoop lol

It starts off well, reminding me of the scene in Sleeping Beauty where each of the courters walks Aurora around in a circle while she stands on one toe. (it's at the end of the Rose Adagio -- about 5 minutes into this video)

But about halfway through, it falters and falls flatter than a dancer missing her leap. And then the author's comments at the end make me lose all respect for him and just seal the poem's fate.

Anyway, all this is merely prelude to say that I've finally got photos and prices for all my tutus online. You can go to my old Picasa tutu album http://picasaweb.google.com/KarenAhlstrom/Tutu# and see the prices in the comments. Or just look below. Remember, the prices are what I'd charge a stranger at a boutique or craft fair. Friends and family can get serious discounts off these prices -- drop me a line or call me and we'll work something out.

Pink:


Top Left: #30 Dusty Rose $24
Top Right: #4 Pink Sparkley $16
Mid Left: #5 Cotton Candy $13.50
Mid Right: #46 Dark Pink Sparkley $18.50
Bottom: #8 Magenta Short $12.50

Headbands:


Top - White Headband Pink roses $5
Middle - #18 Pink Headband Yellow and Pink Roses $6.50
Bottom - #19 Pink Headband White flowers $5
Bottom Right - #17 Rainbow Ribbon skirt $5

Red:


Top Left: #53 Red $14
Top Right:#23 Red and Gold $16.50
Bottom Left: #20 Peppermint $12.50
Bottom Right: #49 Candy Cane $20.50

Orange:


Top Left: #40 Tiger Lily $11
Top Right: #12 Peaches and Cream $11.50
Bottom Left: #31 Pale Peach $12
Bottom Right: #52 Sunflower $16

White:


Top Left: #29 White $12
Top Right: #27 Snow $13.50
Bottom Left: #14 Cream with White Ribbons $12
Bottom Right: #13 Cream Vintage $11.50

Green:


Top Left: #15 Green Poofiness $13.50
Top Right: #16 Green $10.50
Bottom Left: $42 Aquamarine $18
Bottom Right: #37 Aquamarine Short $12

Blue:


Top left: #51 Cloud $24
Top right: #2 Bluebird Thin $7.50
Bottom Left: #3 Bluebird Poofy $12.50
Middle right: #1 Bluebird Ribbon Wrapped $7.50
Bottom right: #38 Cloudy $12

Purple:


Top Left: #39 Lavender Roses $18.50
Top Right: #47 Purple Stripes $10.50
Bottom Left: #25 Purple Sparkley $22.50
Bottom Middle: #26 Deep Purple Short $12
Bottom Right: #24 Deep Purple $17

PS: There's more easter photos and a video

Roads Go Ever Ever On by JRR Tolkien

2009-04-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

Roads Go Ever Ever On: Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on,
Under cloud and under star.
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen,
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green,
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone.
Let others follow, if they can!
Let them a journey new begin.
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still 'round the corner there may wait
A new road or secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.
--JRR Tolkien

Okay, I know that I haven't written any decent blog posts in months. I'm not really ready to start now. Too much has happened for me to summarize, and I simply haven't got time to write it all right now. One big piece of news is that Peter has gotten a job and we're moving to Utah, so I have to pack and do all sorts of other stuff to get ready.

Which brings me to Why I Picked This Poem today. There are a few reasons which are all equally valid.

This poem always seems appropriate to me when moving. You're starting out on a new road, and may never come back to the place you're leaving, and that's a little exciting, and a little sad.
The blog post today is about books, and so I wanted a poem from a novel. Bits of this poem are spread out across the Lord of The Rings books.
The person who inspired me to write this post said specifically that she didn't enjoy LOTR, and I said I especially enjoyed the poetry and symbolism (Which she skimmed over and missed entirely respectively).

Essentially, a friend called me up today and asked if I wanted to meet her at the park and talk while our little ones played together. We ended up talking about books, and she expressed some frustration with the fact that she had gone through several genres of books and had to quit reading them for various reasons. Modern Literary novels have too much sexual content; she didn't really like the Sci-fi and Fantasy her husband gave her; Romance novels, even when you can find clean ones, are so formulaic that they all start to sound the same; Mysteries have so much dark content with the murders and the lying etc, that you get a bad feeling if you read too many; etc. She said she was reduced to reading Self Help books and the Classics. I talked about some of the books that I've enjoyed, and through our conversation got an idea of the sort of thing she might like. I told her I'd send her an email with those book suggestions, and remembered that I had sent a similar list to Miriam a few years ago when she was looking for books for Aidan to read other than the Chronicles of Narnia.

The result is a long list of books with comments that I think would be nice to have as a blog post. It is not all inclusive, but it is, I think, an interesting look at the sort of books I have enjoyed in my life. It starts with the Newbery books, and expands from there, with my suggestions for this particular friend at the very end.

Here's the list of books I promised you. It's just a list that I put together for my sister in law, so it might not all be interesting to you. The Newbery books are theoretically the best in Children's Literature for the year, though sometimes the committee picks weird stuff. Many libraries will have them all together rather than shelved by author with the rest of the fiction, so ask a librarian if you can't find them. There's another list of Non- Newbery fiction as well. I'll admit that this is a pretty long list, but you don't have to be intimidated. Just skim through it till you find a couple that sound interesting, make a note, and take it to the library with you. Read the books -- or at least a couple of chapters to see if you like it -- and then pick another couple books. You can reserve books at most libraries online so that they'll be waiting for you when you go in, and you won't have to look for them while the kids are waiting. Have fun!

-Karen

Year-Author-Book

2007-Susan Patron-The Higher Power of Lucky I haven't read this one
2006-Lynne Rae Perkins-Criss Cross I haven't read this one
2005-Cynthia Kadohata-Kira-Kira I haven't read this one
2004-Kate DiCamillo-The Tale of Despereaux This was an excellent little book about a mouse -- the style is unusual but charming.
2003-Avi-Crispin: The Cross of Lead I read this and liked it, but I can't remember much about it
2002-Linda Sue Park-A Single Shard I haven't read this one
2001-Richard Peck-A Year Down Yonder I haven't read this one
2000-Christopher Paul Curtis-Bud, Not Buddy I haven't read this one
1999-Louis Sachar-Holes I loved this -- the move was really good, but the book was great with interweaving story lines -- really worth reading, though a little intense at times -- if you've seen the movie, you know what I mean. I'd suggest other books by this author -- though the Wayside school stories are much sillier
1998-Karen Hesse-Out of the Dust I disliked this book. it was oddly written, with a depressing storyline.
1997-E. L. Konigsburg-The View from Saturday I liked this one -- it's told from four different viewpoints, with one very nice and satisfying story. I'd suggest other stories by this author
1996-Karen Cushman-The Midwife's Apprentice This was a nice medieval period piece.
1995-Sharon Creech-Walk Two Moons I haven't read this one
1994-Lois Lowry-The Giver This one was odd -- if you're into dystopian soft sci-fi, it's OK, but it's kind of disturbing.
1993-Cynthia Rylant-Missing May I haven't read this one
1992-Phyllis Reynolds Naylor-Shiloh I haven't read this one
1991-Jerry Spinelli-Maniac Magee I haven't read this one
1990-Lois Lowry-Number the Stars This is a very good Holocaust book for young readers, as is The Devil's Arithmatic.
1989-Paul Fleischman-Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices This is a little odd, and ought to be read aloud with a friend
1988-Russell Freedman-Lincoln: A Photobiography I loved this one
1987-Sid Fleischman-The Whipping Boy It's a light little story about a spoiled prince
1986-Patricia MacLachlan-Sarah, Plain and Tall This is a book about loneliness on the prairie and finding love. it's a little wistful, but has a satisfying ending, and at least one sequel
1985-Robin McKinley-The Hero and the Crown One of my all time favorites with its companion book The Blue Sword -- Escapist magic sword fighting dragons fantasy. It's a little more mature than many of these other books since the heroine in each is grown up, and is falling in love.
1984-Beverly Cleary-Dear Mr. Henshaw A book about a kid who writes letters to a truck driver. He's lonely, and or misunderstood. I remember liking it as a kid when Mom read it to us, but it's not exactly a happy book.
1983-Cynthia Voigt-Dicey's Song I haven't read this one
1982-Nancy Willard-A Visit to William Blake's Inn This is a collection of poems in honor of William Blake -- you'll find it on the picture book shelves, and it can be read in one sitting.
1981-Katherine Paterson-Jacob Have I Loved I haven't read this one
1980-Joan Blos-A Gathering of Days: A New England Girl's Journal This is a lot like those Dear America Diary books. It's OK
1979-Ellen Raskin-The Westing Game I really liked this mystery book which has a lot of different point of view characters.
1978-Katherine Paterson-Bridge to Terabithia This is a great book about how reality and fantasy interact. It has a tragic, but ultimately satisfying ending. You'll cry, but like it.
1977-Mildred Taylor-Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry I haven't read this one
1976-Susan Cooper-The Grey King Part of the Dark is Rising Series. One of my favorite fantasy series
1975-Virginia Hamilton-M. C. Higgins, the Great This was a weird one about a boy in a coal mining town who likes to sit on a pole. I wouldn't recommend it.
1974-Paula Fox-The Slave Dancer A book about a kid who has to play his flute to get the slaves on a slave ship to dance so they won't just lay there and die. It's one of those with a heavy political message, but it was OK
1973-Jean Craighead George-Julie of the Wolves Alaskan Eskimo girl doesn't want to be married, so she goes out onto the tundra and lives with the wolves. A great survival story, but I didn't like the inevitable ending. I would recommend other books by this author especially My Side of the Mountain. They're a lot like Gary Paulsen's books (Hatchet, etc)
1972-Robert C. O'Brien-Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH I liked this book, which is a fuller version of the story in the movie
1971-Betsy Byars-Summer of the Swans This is about a girl and her disabled brother. It was OK
1970-William H. Armstrong-Sounder I haven't read this one
1969-Lloyd Alexander-The High King One of the Black Cauldron books. I'd also recommend others by this author (I'll add those on another list)
1968-E. L. Konigsburg-From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler A girl runs away with her brother to live in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. A fun book with a bit of a mystery
1967-Irene Hunt-Up a Road Slowly I haven't read this one
1966-Elizabeth Borton- de Treviño I, Juan de Pareja I haven't read this one
1965-Maia Wojciechowska-Shadow of a Bull I haven't read this one
1964-Emily Cheney Neville-It's Like This, Cat I haven't read this one
1963-Madeleine L'Engle-A Wrinkle in Time An odd Science fiction story - it was always a little bit over my head.
1962-Elizabeth George Speare-The Bronze Bow I haven't read this one
1961-Scott O'Dell-Island of the Blue Dolphins A really good survival story about an indian girl left behind on an island off the coast of California.
1960-Joseph Krumgold-Onion John I haven't read this one
1959-Elizabeth George Speare-The Witch of Blackbird Pond A girl in New England in the 16 or 1700's I remember liking this book, but it was a long time ago.
1958-Harold Keith-Rifles for Watie I haven't read this one
1957-Virginia Sorenson-Miracles on Maple Hill I haven't read this one
1956-Jean Lee Latham-Carry On, Mr. Bowditch I really liked this book about a sailor who comes up with better ways of doing the math involved in navigation. It's a true story, but unless you care about math, ships, or navigation, it might not be your thing.
1955-Meindert DeJong-The Wheel on the School I haven't read this one
1954-Joseph Krumgold-...And Now Miguel I haven't read this one
1953-Ann Nolan Clark-Secret of the Andes I haven't read this one
1952-Eleanor Estes-Ginger Pye I haven't read this one
1951-Elizabeth Yates-Amos Fortune, Free Man I haven't read this one
1950-Marguerite de Angeli-The Door in the Wall A really good book about a boy with a crippled leg in Medieval England.
1949-Marguerite Henry-King of the Wind A fascinating story about the first Arabian horse in Europe.
1948-William Pène du Bois-The Twenty-One Balloons A fantasy adventure story about going around the world by balloon, and landing on Krakatoa before it blew up. It was fun
1947-Carolyn Sherwin Bailey-Miss Hickory A story about a doll that lives in the woods - it was OK, but nothing great
1946-Lois Lenski-Strawberry Girl I haven't read this one
1945-Robert Lawson-Rabbit Hill I haven't read this one
1944-Esther Forbes-Johnny Tremain Fictionalized account of the American Revolution. Fun story
1943-Elizabeth Gray Vining-Adam of the Road Another Medieval story that I'm pretty sure you own. I really liked this one.
1942-Walter D. Edmonds-The Matchlock Gun This is about a family that was settling America during the Indian Wars. Totally not politically correct, but probably historically accurate from their point of view.
1941-Armstrong Sperry-Call It Courage Adventure story about a Polynesian boy. I liked this book
1940-James Daugherty-Daniel Boone I haven't read this one, but heartily recommend the Autobiography of Davy Crockett -- which is very readable.
1939-Elizabeth Enright-Thimble Summer I haven't read this one
1938-Kate Seredy-The White Stag I haven't read this one
1937-Ruth Sawyer-Roller Skates I haven't read this one
1936-Carol Ryrie Brink-Caddie Woodlawn A story about a pioneer era girl and her family. A lot like the Little House books. I liked it.
1935-Monica Shannon-Dobry I haven't read this one
1934-Cornelia Meigs-Invincible Louisa I haven't read this one
1933-Elizabeth Foreman Lewis-Young Fu of the Upper Yangtze I haven't read this one
1932-Laura Adams Armer-Waterless Mountain I haven't read this one
1931-Elizabeth Coatsworth-The Cat Who Went to Heaven An excellent overview of Buddhist stories I REALLY liked this book a lot.
1930-Rachel Field-Hitty, Her First Hundred Years A book about a doll that is passed from one owner to another. It's nothing special.
1929-Eric P. Kelly-The Trumpeter of Krakow A really interesting historical story about Poland
1928-Dhan Gopal Mukerji-Gay Neck, the Story of a Pigeon I haven't read this one
1927-Will James-Smoky the Cow Horse I haven't read this one
1926-Arthur Bowie Chrisman-Shen of the Sea Folk tale collection -- It was OK
1925-Charles Finger-Tales from Silver Lands another Folk tale collection
1924-Charles Hawes-The Dark Frigate I haven't read this one
1923-Hugh Lofting-The Voyages of Doctor Dolittle This is a really fun book, but you may want to get one of the recent editions where they edit out some of the more politically incorrect racial slurs (that were just a product of the time, but are jolting to the modern reader)
1922-Hendrik Willem van Loon-The Story of Mankind This is a history of the world written for children. Not one to read straight through, but a good reference book.

Newbery Honor Books

Princess Academy by Shannon Hale -- One of the girls in town is going to be a princess, so they all go to school to learn etiquette. There are jealousies and such, but the heroine is a real hero in the end. I'm pretty sure this has a Mormon author -- though there's no overt religion in it.
Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko -- This is about a boy who lives on Alcatraz island in the 40's with his guard dad, neurotic mom, and autistic sister. It's an interesting book
Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine -- This is the first and best (in my opinion) of her retellings of fairy tales. I liked them all, but I liked this one best.
Catherine, Called Birdy by Karen Cushman -- I liked this one better than her Midwife's Apprentice. It's a story of a girl in Medieval times in journal format
The Ear, the Eye and the Arm by Nancy Farmer -- this is odd science fiction set in futuristic Africa. I really liked it, especially the Recorded Books edition with one of my favorite readers. It's long, and not like much you would have read before.
The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle by Avi -- A girl on a ship. I liked it for that reason.
Shabanu, Daughter of the Wind by Suzanne Fisher Staples -- A fascinating book about the life and decisions of an Arab girl.
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen -- Survival adventure at its best.
The Sign of the Beaver by Elizabeth George Speare -- Survival adventure of a boy settling in Indian country whose dad leaves him to guard the homestead. He makes friends with the Indians and starts to go native.
Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary -- I liked to read all of Beverly Cleary's books about Ramona and friends. They're children's classics as well.
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson -- A book about a moody girl in the Foster care system.
The Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin -- A really cool fantasy in a well defined world that's not Tolkien's. She's a great writer, and while it's no fluffy quick read, it's well worth it to read the entire series.
The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatley Snyder -- A story about inner city kids and their imagination. I really liked it.
Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt -- A book about the Civil War. It's powerful.
Rascal by Sterling North -- I think this one's about a raccoon
The Cricket in Times Square by George Selden -- This is fun animal fantasy. The title tells you what it's about.
Old Yeller by Fred Gipson -- The king of all dead dog stories. After you read this and Where the Red Fern Grows, read Gordon Korman's No More Dead Dogs
Banner In The Sky by James Ullman -- Story about climbing the Matterhorn
Charlotte's Web by E. B. White -- You've got to know what this one's about. If you haven't read it you really ought to.
The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes -- It's sweet and sad at the end. It's short, and worth reading.

Other books I really like -- these are often different style than the Newberys, and some may work for you, some may not. If you don't like it, feel free to put it down and pick another book

Anne McCaffery - Dragonsong I really like this series of fantasy novels about dragons. I think that this would be the best one for you to start with, and if you like it, then move on to ome of the others. If you don't like it, then the genre just isn't for you.
Terry Pratchett - Maurice and his Amazing Educated Rodents -- Really any of his Discworld novels are funny, and you don't really have to read them in order (though some of the jokes will be funnier if you read certain ones before others). They're absurdist fantasy mixed with social commentary. If you like this, then read others (the Wikipedia article has a nice suggested reading order for some of the subplots that run through the books)
Douglas Adams - Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy -- This is top of the line absurdist Science Fiction that has me rolling on the floor laughing. You'll know by a couple of chapters in if it's your thing or not.
Richard Adams - Watership Down -- This has to be my #1 favorite novel. It's long, but rich, and works on so many levels. give me a call if you want me to elaborate. If I start writing here, I'll never stop. If you like it, there's a sequel of sorts called Tales from Watership Down which is more a collection of short stories.
Gordon Korman - This Can't be Happening at Mcdonald Hall -- Gordon Korman is one of my favorite authors. His books are just so darn silly. This one is the first in his series about a couple of boys at a boarding school. If you want something a little older but still as crazy, try A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag, or Losing Joe's Place.
Roald Dahl - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- Another very silly author, I haven't read anything by him I didn't like, though some of his stuff is more fun than others. If you like Charlie, read Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator. Or, you might try The Witches or The BFG
Lloyd Alexander - My Five Tigers, The Fortune-Tellers, Gypsy Rizka, The Arkadians, The Westmark trilogy. I haven't read anything by Lloyd Alexander that I didn't like. He's a great storyteller, and dabbles in lots of different genres.
Natalie Babbitt - Tuck Everlasting -- A great story about people who live forever, and a little girl who stumbles on their secret.
Robin McKinley - Beauty --A beautiful retelling of Beauty and the Beast . Very rich story and characters, one of my all time favorites. If you like it, try some of her other fairy tale retellings like Rose Daughter and Spindle's End
L Frank Baum - The Wizard of Oz -- If you haven't read a couple of the original Oz books, you really ought to. There's no need to read them ALL, but they're a lot of fun, and a quick read. There's a reason they're classics.
Richard and Florence Atwater - Mr. Popper's Penguins -- Admiral Bird sends a fan a bunch of penguins from his South Pole expedition. It's a fun little story about the silliness that ensues
Alexander McCall Smith - The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency -- This is a great series about a woman detective in Botswana. The characters and their lives are more important than the mysteries really. I especially like the mechanic who reminds me of my dad.
Paul Zindel - The Pigman -- This is more of a teenager book rather than for children. Two high school kids meet a very strange old man, and get to know him and stuff. I really was struck by it when I first read it.
Agatha Christie - Murder on the Orient Express or Ten Little Indians -- OK these are murder mysteries, so they're gonna have a bit darker feel than the others on the list, but they are the BEST of the genre, and well worth reading even if mystery isn't generally your thing.
Meg Cabot - The Princess Diaries -- It's fun fluff to read. Not life changing, but worth the time.
Peter S Beagle - The Last Unicorn -- this is a really nice fantasy story -- they made it into a cartoon movie.
TS Elliot - The Sword in the Stone -- Probably the greatest children's adaptation of the King Arthur myths. It's really funny, and yet it's based directly on Malory's definitive Le Morte D'Arthur. If you like it, find The Once and Future King which tells what happens after he becomes king, which is cool, but kind of sad.
Cornelia Funke - The Thief Lord -- This is an interesting book in that it is set in a European city that the author treats like we know it as well as we know New York. It has good characters and a different approach.
If you're looking for something like Jane Austen, I've heard that the books by Elizabeth Gaskell are very good reads. Cranford and Wives and Daughters have been made into PBS miniseries lately.
Also in the Jane Austen vein are the series of books beginning with Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brien. I like these in the Audio book format read by Patrick Tull, but they're worth the read in any format. Each book stands on its own pretty well, but the subtle jokes are funnier if you've read them in order. It has Jane Austen's Comedy of Manners style, with some adventure on the high seas thrown in. One that you might particularly like to start with is The Hundred Days.
If you like that series, then you might also want to try Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell which is set in the same time period, but in a fantasy version of England, and it's about some guys who try to bring magic back to the world.

Other books I suggested that you might want to check out and some more in the same vein:

Autobiography of Parley P Pratt
History of Joseph Smith by His Mother Lucy Mack Smith: The Unabridged Original Version
Orson Scott Card's Women of Genesis series (Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah) is a good read, and it gives the characters in the Old Testament believable motivations for some of the strange decisions they make. I don't think that all of his interpretations are correct, but I like being reminded that somehow, it made sense at the time to the people involved. It helps me to imagine scenarios where other Biblical people might also have good reasons for what they did.
Sham: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless by Steve Salerno
The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat: And Other Clinical Tales by Oliver Sacks - Science book for the popular audience by a neurologist
Mutants: On Genetic Variety and the Human Body by Armand Marie Leroi - this one is similar to the above, but on a different topic. It's morbidly fascinating, kind of like visiting a freak show.
All Creatures Great and Small by James Herriott - Memoirs of a Yorkshire Veterinarian. Nice book, funny touching stories, bite sized chunks.
Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! (Adventures of a Curious Character) by Richard P. Feynman - This guy won the Nobel prize for Physics and worked on the Manhattan Project, but is an all around fun guy too.

I've got more suggestions when you're done with these. Enjoy! (and if you want to add some suggestion in the comments too, feel free)

I Look Away by Karen Stay Ahlstrom

2009-03-19T00:03:00.000-07:00

I Look Away: I look away across the mountains.
I look away across the sea,
To my dear home where friends and loved ones
I pray someday will look to me.

When I was young, I'd go a ramblin.
O'er forest streams and hills I'd roam.
But when the evening brought the twilight,
I'd hear my mother call me home.

I look away across the mountains.
I look away across the sea,
To my dear home where friends and loved ones
I pray someday will look to me.

Yet since those days, I've wandered further:
Through prairie fair, to ocean foam.
I cannot hear my mother's voice now,
But still I feel her call me home.

I look away across the mountains.
I think of those I've left behind
And still I know I've found the treasure
I left my dear old home to find.

I've come away across the mountains
I've come away across the sea,
To my new home where friends and loved ones
I know each day are here with me.
--Karen Stay Ahlstrom

I heard the tune to this song played on Prairie Home Companion while driving to Border's Books with my dad on June 21st 2002. It was the sort of song you can hum along with even as you're hearing it for the first time. The next note is always the Right Note: the only one it could have been. As it ended, I said, "Wow, that was beautiful!" and Garrison Keillor said, "Wasn't that the most beautiful song you've heard in your life?" and I said, "Yes." When I got home, I looked it up on his site, played the sound clip for the rest of the family, and bought the CD. Mom said, "Now you really need to write the words to it." As I cut grass at the Metroparks the next day, I hummed the tune, and gradually the chorus came together. I wanted it to be wistful: the song of an immigrant remembering his motherland, and knowing he can never return. The first verse soon followed, but there I got stuck. I made several attempts at the rest of the song, for instance the first and third lines of the current second verse existed in one form or another, but it was never Right. In May of 2003, I was driving to the mall, in beautiful California, when it popped up on the compilation CD I was listening to. Because I was singing along with the other songs, I began to sing the chorus and verse I knew for this one. When I had done that, I kept singing, and the rest of the song came out. It was a bit garbled, but the substance was there, and that was enough. I parked my car, and wrote down the finished song. Finally it was Right. The wistful longing was still there, but the immigrant is better off where he is. He has made for himself a new home and family, and he is happy. I deliberately left the last line ambiguous because as long as he looks to the past, his old family will be with him in spirit and memory as well. The second line of the third verse is in the form it is so that it can be my song as well as the immigrant's. It was going to be "'Cross prairie fair and ocean foam" but I have come TO the ocean and found happiness. The chorus is a bit inaccurate, but I left it as it is (besides, I do have loved ones across the sea even if I didn't come from there). I hope you will listen to the music for this, as it is the entire reason for its being.

I've picked this poem today for a few reasons. As I was thinking about Grandma Fawnie, and what poem would honor her, I remembered that she had a binder full of poems, stories and quotations that she liked. I know there was quite a bit of Robert Frost in there, but more than that, I'm not sure. I hope that when people go through her things, I can get a photocopy or scan of that folder. I think that one of the other things in that folder was a copy of the story "The Man Without a Country." She would say that her mother thought that it was a true story, and thought it was terribly sad. That reminded me of this poem/song I wrote, and how Grandma cried when I sang it to her over the phone.

I know it's been a long time since I posted on my blog. Grandma Helen died just before Christmas, then I got depressed, then I got sick, then I stopped wanting to eat, then I went to Ohio for a month. Now Grandma Fawnie has died, and if I don't write about it now, I may never start posting again.

I have different memories about Grandma Fawnie from different parts of my life. When I was little, she was somebody I saw every couple of years. That made the visits very special, and saying goodbye very hard -- since I never knew when I'd see her again. Grandma was very creative, and made all sorts of fun things for us to play with. I especially remember the Strawberry Shortcake house and furniture -- most of which is now sitting in my closet waiting for Elizabeth to get old enough to care. Later, she made Barbie furniture out of plastic soda pop bottles (I also still have that set, or at least the cushions). There were spray bottle squirt guns (before she bought the Super Soakers), and matching games made of stickers on cardstock, and a store where you put magazine photos of food into shelves made of folded paper. She let us make real plaster casts when playing doctor with the dolls, and showed me how to dry flowers in silica sand and arrange them artfully on silver spoons. When I think of her house in East Millcreek, I think of the smell of rice on a sheet on the concrete floor of her garage, on a hot summer day waiting for a thunderstorm to arrive.

Grandma was a home-ec major in college, and loved to make fancy (and not so fancy) desserts. I remember that we once made a rainbow jello (we had to let each layer set in the refrigerator before boiling water for the next color's layer), but she also liked making lemon frosting and eating it on saltine crackers. It was from her that I learned the virtues of a little toaster oven for small batches of muffins and toasting sandwiches.

When I was in high school, and we went to Utah nearly every summer for one acronymmed reason or other (EFY, brothers going to BYU or the MTC, etc), I started to see her flaws. She could be melodramatic at times, especially when it came to her sisters and her health. I liked to say that the three sisters had been driving each other crazy for more than 70 years, and by this time, they'd got there. It seemed to me that getting sick was Grandma's body's way of dealing with stress -- it's a dangerous thing to let your body get in the habit of -- and I sometimes wonder if there's a way I can avoid doing the same thing.

When I went out to BYU, I really started having serious trouble with depression. Grandma and Grandpa were there for me at this really difficult time. When I just couldn't deal with school and roommates anymore, I would get on a bus and head up to Grandma's for the weekend. I'd dig in the dirt with Grandpa (we planted and harvested some very tasty potatoes), and Grandma would take care of me. She knew I loved strawberries, and I remember one time when I was sitting in the basement watching TV, and she brought me a beautiful tray of strawberries in a pretty glass bowl with a miniature jug of cream and a bowl of sugar to sprinkle over them with a tiny spoon. She introduced me to all her favorite old movies like Jane Eyre with Orson Wells (and every other version ever made of the same movie) or Little Women or Pride and Prejudice. We went to new movies too. I especially remember Shakespeare in Love and Life is Beautiful -- she was a wonderful person to go to a movie and cry with. There was a time in this period when I had to frequently list reasons not to kill myself in order to keep on living. The number one reason was always because it would make Grandma Fawnie sad. Her love and care made it possible for me to get to a time when I wanted to live for myself, and not just for her.

Grandma loved to make crafts and was incredibly creative. She'd come up with fabulous ideas, go all out working on whatever it was for a while, then be done with it and move on to something else (Superfriends costumes, doll furniture, greeting cards, etc) I think that a lot of my own creativity came through her and Mom. She was very supportive of my creative efforts growing up -- she took me to all kinds of fun craft and fabric stores. She loaned me her sewing machine so that I could make costumes for SCA events and my Early Mormon Clothing class when I was in college, and simply gushed over my creations when I brought them back to show her. She also loved to hear my poetry and singing, and one of the hand colored copies of my Good King Wenceslas book was for her.

After I moved away from Utah, I tried to keep in touch -- when I got my cell phone, I could call more often -- but I really felt bad that I couldn't be there for her as she got sicker and sicker after her stroke. One of the reasons I spent so much time with Grandma and Grandpa Stay was because there was honestly nothing I could do for Grandma Fawnie. I am deeply grateful for the the example of loving service she gave me. She taught me so much that I really wanted to know my other Grandma as well as I knew her, and being with Grandma Helen was an amazing blessing for me as well.

Saying goodbye this time was hard. Just like when I was little, I knew that when I said goodbye, that it would be for an impossibly long time, and not only did I not know when I'd see her again, I was sure that this would be the last time. We stopped at the nursing home on the way to the airport. Grandpa was giving her lunch, and as we came down the hall, we could hear her coughing because she has a hard time swallowing liquids. It was a frigtning sight and sound, and Mom had me take Elizabeth outside till they got her calmed down and breathing again. When we went back in, she was absent -- as she has been more and more often recently. She was awake, but not really aware of who we were and what we were saying. When I realized that she might not know or understand what I was saying, I said my goodbyes, hoping that somewhere her spirit heard me say how much she had meant in my life. I held her hand, and gave her a hug and a kiss. Then I told her we had to leave and get to the airport, and she was back, and said, "Ohhh," sadly. I don't remember whether she actually said, "Love you," or if I just got it from her look, but She was there, and said goodbye to me and Elizabeth. It's hard for me to believe it was coincidental that she died less than twenty-four hours later.

When I went to Ohio in September and again this last month, we took Elizabeth over to the nursing home to see Grandma Fawnie several times. Whenever we were there, Grandma seemed more alert than usual -- like she really wanted to spend some last precious moments with us as she was retreating from the rest of the world. I know she loved me, and loved Elizabeth. I loved her, and wish it would have been possible for Elizabeth to get to know her as well. Someday she will, just as I'll be able to meet the Great Grandmothers I've heard so much about. Until then, I'll honor Grandma Fawnie's legacy by playing her games with Elizabeth, getting out the toys that she made and I've cherished, and making new ones with whatever comes to hand (even if it's soda pop bottles and strawberry baskets).

Animal Alphabet by Diddily Dee Dots

2008-12-29T23:01:00.000-08:00

Animal Alphabet: A's For the Antelope always on view
Which Algernon saw,
When he went to the zoo.

B Was the bear that came up at a run
When Benjamin threw him
A very nice bun.

C's For the camel;
""Poor thing, what a lump!""
Was what Caroline said
When she looked at his hump.

D's For the deer with the soft
pretty eyes;
Doris found them so tame
She had quite a surprise.

E Was the elephant ;
sixpence a ride but
Eric soon found that
you can't sit astride!

F Was the fox very crafty and sly,
Watching Frank from his den
with a cunning old eye.

G's The giraffe which made
Geraldine smile;
She was sure with his neck,
She could see quite a mile.

H Was the hippo asleep in his pool,
Harry thought it an excellent
way to keep cool.

I Was the Ibex, a kind of wild goat.
Ida thought his horns nasty,
But liked his fine coat.

J Was the Jaguar like a big cat,
But Jane didn't think
She would like him to pat!

K Was the kangaroo off with a bound;
A fine way , thought Ken,
To get over the ground.

L's For the lions; they made
such a fierce noise
Laura wished she were safety
At home with the boys.

M's For the monkeys,
all patter and chatter,
But Miles couldn't tell
What on earth was the matter.

N's For the Nilgai which jumped
off a rock;
He took such a leap that
Nell had quite a shock.

O's For the ostrich,
A wise-looking bird,
But Olga remembered
the tales she had heard.

P's For the parrot
that had lots to say,
and tried to peck Paul,
As he passed by that way.

Q's For the Quagga
Which Quentin found tame;
He is quite like a Zebra,
with stripes and a mane.

R Is the Rhino,
A fierce-looking beast;
Rosie watched him with awe
In the midst of a feast.

S Is the snake which
Suzanne found asleep;
He was shiny and slimy
and made her flesh creep.

T's For the Tiger
that gave Tim a fright;
He was horribly scared
Lest they got out at night.

For U (That's the Unicorn)
Nobody looks;
As Una can tell you,
He's only in books.

V's For the Vulture,
A big bird of prey,
Veronica saw him
and soon ran away!

W's For the Wolf
Lying flat on the ground,
Though when Walter
came near he was
up with a bound.

X Just looks on
and has nothing to do,
There's no creature
That claims him
Through-out the whole Zoo.

Y Is the Yak;
He's worthy of note;
Yvonne was amazed
at his long shaggy coat.

Z's For the Zebra
That kept Zoe busy,
She counted his stripes
till she felt she was dizzy.
--Diddily Dee Dots (Maybe?)

This poem was either written or appropriated by somebody calling themselves Diddily Dee Dots. It's hard when I find a perfect poem online, and there's no attribution. I'm probably far over the edge of legal copyright use of poetry, but I tell myself it's mostly all right if it's already out there on the internet, and I give a proper attribution. Oh well...

Peter and I were at the mall the other day, and I saw something that really caught my eye. It was a zip up book with a little stuffed animal for each letter of the alphabet. I thought it was a great idea as a quiet activity, but the price was appalling -- $78! I also thought that the animals were kind of boring because they all looked pretty much the same.

I've been thinking about feverishly making one of these for Elizabeth's birthday, and have pretty much convinced myself that she won't care one way or another whether it's done for the actual birthday. I was also thinking that it would get pretty tiresome to make all those animals myself.

So here's my idea -- please tell me if you think it's doable for you in your present circumstances -- if each of Elizabeth's aunts and uncles (and grandparents and cousins and friends if they feel so inclined) makes a little animal out of felt, that would populate most of the book. If you made the animal 2 or 3 inches tall at the largest, it should only cost about 50 cents to a dollar in supplies (felt and embroidery floss are pretty cheap) , and it could be completed in one evening -- maybe as an FHE activity.

I don't want this to be a burden on anyone, so please feel free to decline the invitation. Also, like I said, it doesn't have to be done in time for her birthday -- that's pretty much impossible at this point -- but it would be nice to have it finished within a few months.

If you would like to participate, please coordinate with me about which letter you'll be making an animal for -- it would be sad if I ended up with 15 aardvarks.

The two pictures below are of the original book, and this link and this one are to give you an idea of the sort of felt animal I'm thinking of. Feel free to get as creative as you want, but if you feel intimidated, then simply cutting out two copies of an outline, stitching around the edge, and putting a little stuffing (or scrap felt) inside, is all I'm really asking for.

Thanks for even considering this. It would be so fun to have something for Elizabeth made by all the people who love her!

Oh, What Songs of the Heart by Joseph L. Townsend

2008-12-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

Oh, What Songs of the Heart: Oh, what songs of the heart
We shall sing all the day,
When again we assemble at home,
When we meet ne'er to part
With the blest o'er the way,
There no more from our loved ones to roam!
When we meet ne'er to part,
Oh, what songs of the heart
We shall sing in our beautiful home.

Tho our rapture and bliss
There's no song can express,
We will shout, we will sing o'er and o'er,
As we greet with a kiss,
And with joy we caress
All our loved ones that passed on before;
As we greet with a kiss,
In our rapture and bliss,
All our love ones that passed on before.

Oh, the visions we'll see
In that home of the blest,
There's no word, there's no thought can impart,
But our rapture will be
All the soul can attest,
In the heavenly songs of the heart;
But our rapture will be
In the vision we'll see
Best expressed in the songs of the heart.

Oh, what songs we'll employ!
Oh, what welcome we'll hear!
When we kneel at our dear Savior's feet.
And the heart swells with joy
In embraces most dear
When our heavenly parents we meet!
Oh, what songs we'll employ
As the heart swells with joy,
When our heavenly parents we meet!
--Joseph L. Townsend

This seems to be a week of reexamining song lyrics. When I had heard or sung this song before, I always thought it was a nice song about the millennium--very much in the same vein as "Beautiful day of peace and rest...beautiful bright millennial day." Something along the lines of how great it'll be when Christ comes again and we won't have to deal with all the hassles of mortality anymore. When I got an email today asking me and my cousins to sing this song at Grandma's funeral, though, I read it with new eyes, and see that it's probably talking about a different ending to mortal woes. It really doesn't matter what the author intended, though. It's an excellent song to sing at a funeral, especially in these circumstances.

My Grandma, Helen Lela Valantine Stay, passed away today at 2:19 pm. She died peacefully, after a relatively quick decline, and had a few of her children there with her. I was there yesterday with Elizabeth to say my final goodbyes, though she was in a coma, and probably didn't know we were there. I last spoke with her on Wednesday of last week, when I went down for my weekly visit. I read her some Christmas cards, and sang some carols after doing the bills. Her visiting teacher stopped by with a strawberry milkshake and some cinnamon rolls (having dropped all pretense of trying to get Grandma to eat anything healthy, she brought some sort of fast food and strawberry milkshake at least once a week hoping that Grandma would eat anything at all).

We were very worried about Grandma last year when she was in and out of the hospital. She tried very hard to get well for Grandpa, and would often eat just to humor him after she lost her appetite. I think it surprised all of us when Grandpa's cancer suddenly returned and he died first. Grandma rallied at that point, and was the healthiest I'd seen her in months at the funeral and just after. I think that if she had been in the middle of family like that for the next few months, she may have found something to live for without Grandpa. There was no shortage of family that invited her to go live with them, or offered to come to California to take care of her, but one of Grandma's defining characteristics was the determination not to be a bother to anybody. I once joked that she would rather die than let somebody wait on her hand and foot -- and I soon realized that it was no joke -- she would rather die.

Grandpa's death was very hard on me, and came during a very chaotic month when it seemed like my life was about to fall apart. I really resisted the idea of Grandma dying so soon after, and would often leave her house and call my Mom for comfort and advice on the drive home. I finally realized, in October, that it wasn't my decision. Grandma was ready to go. This wasn't the way she wanted to live. She missed Grandpa, and spent most of her time being cared for by relative strangers. The most exciting thing that happened most days was watching an episode or two of Hogan's Heroes.

That's not to say that she didn't have some little pleasures. Sharon visited often, as did members of her ward. She liked to watch the sparrows and finches and doves and hummingbirds that came to her bird feeders. I planted some cheerful flowers in the back yard, and later, Sharon planted some more. She liked to listen to the books on tape that I brought from the library. And she loved to see Elizabeth.

She called Elizabeth her "little Kewpie doll" and was excited to see and hear about every new trick Elizabeth learned. Elizabeth, in turn, obligingly looked cute, and showed off her tricks by rolling over, sitting, pulling up on Grandma's shiny red walker, crawling under the foot of her recliner, and standing and walking along the edge of the couch till she could reach out and grab Grandma's foot and chew on her slipper. Most recently, she decided that Grandma's Life Alert necklace was the most wonderful thing in the world, and that she really wanted to grab it and push the button. She always brought a smile to Grandma's face, and always smiled for her. She loved to wave to Grandma as I held her up to see when Grandma was in bed.

Driving all the way to Grandma's and back every week was hard on Elizabeth. She didn't like sitting in the car, and she often couldn't eat or sleep well until we got home, but every time I thought about telling Grandma that yes, it had finally gotten too hard, I would think about how much those visits meant to all of us, and I'd reconsider.

I have been so blessed by having Helen for a Grandmother. She took me in when I was sad and lonely and at loose ends in 2002, and she took care of me until I could get out on my own again. She was a wonderful example of quiet strength and determination, and I found that she had an unexpected adventurous side too. Most of all, she was an example of Christian service -- and I have benefited my whole life from having a Dad who was taught at her knee. I also got from her, and from my dad following in her footsteps, a love of books and storytelling, and the ability to entertain small children in almost any situation.

I have also been blessed by the opportunity to be of service to her. I was telling her about Elder Holland's Conference talk on angels, and she said that I had been an angel taking care of her this last year or so. It is a great gift to be given the opportunity to give back something meaningful to someone who has given you so much. It taught me about the pure love of Christ and unconditional love. It let me be an example of charity to my daughter in her earliest days. It was an experience I'll never forget.

Once I came to terms with the fact that she was dying, even the process itself took on a kind of sad beauty. Grandma didn't seem sick or in pain, she just got weaker and weaker, quieter and quieter, until she was gone. I'm grateful that he kept her wits about her until the end. It would have been much harder to watch her mind go long before her body. She let go of everything material -- money didn't matter, food didn't matter, neither did any of her things -- all that mattered were the memories, and her house and her heart were full of those. I had wondered what on earth I could get her for Christmas since there wasn't a thing in the world that she wanted. I finally settled on a little toy seagull that flaps his wings in the wind to hang outside the living room window. He was absolutely worthless, but I think he would have brightened her day a little. I knew that the real gift was giving her as much time as I could justify, and doing things she couldn't do for herself anymore like sending out the Christmas cards, putting up the decorations, and singing some carols.

I know this is an odd post. It would have been nice to write a eulogy for her, but it has ended up being about me and my feelings about watching her die. I guess I needed to write this because I'm having a hard time knowing what to feel. Am I sad? Yes. I'll miss my Grandma, and I already miss my Grandpa. Am I happy? Yes. I know for a fact that this is what Grandma wanted. She gets to spend Christmas and her birthday with Grandpa (and the rest of eternity, too)! I know that she was at peace, and would want the rest of us to be as well. That's why she picked that song for her funeral. It's a happy song because she has gone ahead to the great family reunion in the sky, and she's rejoicing there tonight, and beckoning to the rest of us to follow in her footsteps so that we can join her there when our journeys are done too.

Holy Innocents by Christina Rossetti

2008-12-21T13:00:00.000-08:00

Holy Innocents: THEY scarcely waked before they slept,
They scarcely wept before they laughed;
They drank indeed death's bitter draught,
But all its bitterest dregs were kept
And drained by Mothers while they wept.

From Heaven the speechless Infants speak:
Weep not (they say), our Mothers dear,
For swords nor sorrows come not here.
Now we are strong who were so weak,
And all is ours we could not seek.

We bloom among the blooming flowers,
We sing among the singing birds;
Wisdom we have who wanted words:
here morning knows not evening hours,
All's rainbow here without the showers.

And softer than our Mother's breast,
And closer than our Mother's arm,
Is here the Love that keeps us warm
And broods above our happy next.
Dear Mothers, come: for Heaven is best.
--Christina Rossetti

I was thinking of posting the Coventry Carol today, but while looking for the words online, I stumbled on a site full of Christmas Poems by Christina Rossetti (She also wrote "In the Bleak Midwinter" for those of you who don't quite recognize the name). Having a baby of your own changes the way you think about things, and for the first time this year, I realized that the Coventry Carol is not about protecting Jesus, but singing one last Bye Bye Lullay to all the other children that "Harod the King in his raging" ordered his soldiers to kill. I can't imagine how horrible that would have been, and I'm glad that I live in a world where nothing like that will happen to my sweet Elizabeth. Of course there are always tragedies -- this poem also reminds me of the one I posted after the Chinese earthquake earlier this year.

Now that you've been duly depressed for Christmas, let's lighten things up by posting our Christmas letter and family photo. I'm pretty impressed with myself for not only figuring out how to use the timer so that I could take the family picture, but also for getting a good shot of a Christmas ornament with pretty starbursts on the lights, and also for figuring out how to make GimpShop work well enough to merge the two images and put words on it with shadows and everything.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!
Let’s see what happened in our family this year...

In January, (Peter says: We expanded via an acquisition!) in other words, Elizabeth Anne Ahlstrom was born! She arrived on January 14th and weighed 8 lbs 10 oz. She had pretty red hair prompting her Grandma Becky, who was there for the blessed event to say, “A little Girl? And a redhead? You hit the Jackpot!” (And Karen is a Compulsive Capitalizer.) And I must say that we certainly agree with her. Elizabeth is about the sweetest baby you could wish for, and beautiful and clever to boot. (Peter asks: Does she have boots? Karen answers: She does, but they’re too big for her.)

In February, Peter gave Elizabeth a name and blessing (Peter notes that there were no surprises in the name or blessing). Grandpa Jim, Grandma Kathey, and Aunt Kirsten came to visit that weekend, as did Grandpa Randy and Uncle Mike with his three boys. (Peter says: Which was very nice.)

In March, we all got influenza. (Peter says: Which was not very nice.) We had to take Elizabeth to the Emergency room and let them do all sorts of horrible tests on her (Peter says: And they couldn’t find her blood) which would have been bad enough if we were well, but since I could barely stand and already felt like death warmed over, the whole experience was pretty traumatic.
Also in March, we welcomed another member to the family when we went to Steve and Rachel’s wedding. It was a lot of fun to get together with the whole family and talk and eat and take lots of photos. (Peter says: And it snowed and we got to see Barb and Kyle.)

In April, Elizabeth got a lot more “interactive” as Peter puts it. Looking back through old blog posts, I was reminded of the time when Elizabeth tried to grab the remote control, but only succeeded in knocking it down. Peter thought this was funny and said, “Baby, you have 0 DEX!” I thought that was funny, and said, “But her CHR is pretty high!” Yes, we are nerds. (Peter thinks that baby’s DEX might be up to 5 by now).

In May, Elizabeth became much more aware of her surroundings, which meant that I could no longer make her nurse and sleep wherever we happened to be at the time. I had my first Mother’s day, and sadly missed the Primary children singing because I was trying to get Elizabeth to nurse in the Mother’s lounge. I also had my birthday that month, and threw myself a little party.

By June, Elizabeth was sitting unsupported, and Peter had his first Father’s day (Peter says: I don’t remember anything about that day). June was a hard month with two funerals and two family reunions, only one of which was planned. On top of all that business, Peter’s company laid off 40% of their staff including him (Peter says: I need a new job).

In July, Elizabeth started pulling herself up on things, and trying to learn to crawl. We started talking evening walks as a family (Peter says: Walks are nice and I recommend them to everybody). On these walks, Elizabeth keeps her eyes peeled for one of the many stray cats that live in our neighborhood. She gets terribly excited when she sees one, while they either pretend to be indifferent or run away as fast as they can. (Peter says: I have discovered that it’s best to approach them from an oblique angle so that you’re not headed straight for them with the stroller, but sort of ease your way close enough to them for Elizabeth to reach out and grab at.) (Peter also says: At the end of July I started working at a temporary job and I’m still working there.)

In August, we watched the Olympics and were suitably impressed when Elizabeth took up the sport of crawling. She also managed to cut two teeth with a lot of angst. (Peter says: I went to Worldcon and saw my friends from Utah and was on some big panels.)

In September, Elizabeth and I took a trip to Ohio and Elizabeth met Great Grandma Fawnie for the first time. She had tons of new experiences, and enjoyed herself thoroughly, except when she was sad because it’s hard to eat and sleep in new places when you’re as curious as she is. (Peter says: And I was lonely.)

In October, I made several costumes including cute Pumpkin hats for Elizabeth and some of her cousins and friends. I also made elf and fairy costumes so that our family could coordinate at the Ward Halloween party. (Peter says: And we carved pumpkins—even the one that didn’t want to be carved.) I finally got the landscaping of our house sort of finished, with a brick path, beds of gravel, flowers, and a vegetable garden.

In November, Elizabeth got really interested in books. She will sit and ask for Mama to read her one after another after another (Peter says: after another after another). She also took her first few unsupported steps (Peter says: Wasn’t that in December? No? Wow...time flies). I spent a lot of time and energy making tutus to sell at a craft fair. I kind of went overboard and though I’ve sold enough to make back most of my investment in supplies, I still have LOTS of pretty tutus that need to be sold. At the end of November, Elizabeth got a stomach virus and threw up for days. When I took her to the doctor to see if she was dehydrated, they said, “Your baby is fine, but you, my dear, are not.” They called one of my friends to take the baby, and forced me to lie down while they pumped four liters of fluid into me. (Peter says: That sounds like a lot!)

Now it’s December. We’ve got the Christmas tree up, and lights strung outside. Elizabeth is fascinated by all the decorations—especially the jingle bell wreath on the front door and the Fisher Price Nativity set. (Peter says: Elizabeth and I are sick again with colds.)

Well that’s the major news from this year. In the days when there aren’t big events, Karen keeps busy playing with Elizabeth, doing the housework, visiting Grandma Stay, and socializing with the other mothers from the Enrichment park group. Peter keeps busy by going to work, listening to audiobooks on his commute, posting enigmatic—almost spoilerific comments on the Timewaster’s Guide forums, freelance editing, and not paying attention to TV commercials. Elizabeth keeps busy by being cute, working hard at learning how her toys and everything else in world works, sharing germs with her friend at church and the park, and generally being the apple of her parents’ eyes.

Karen says: Well, should we say anything else? Peter says: We Love Everybody! Elizabeth says: Bwaa baa baa!

Love Karen, Peter, and Elizabeth Ahlstrom

The Huron Carol by Jean de Brébeuf

2008-12-19T19:58:00.001-08:00

The Huron Carol: ’Twas in the moon of wintertime,
When all the birds had fled,
That mighty Gitchi Manitou
Sent angel choirs instead;
Before their light the stars grew dim,
And wondering hunters heard the hymn:
Jesus your King is born, Jesus is born,
In excelsis gloria.

Within a lodge of broken bark
The tender babe was found,
A ragged robe of rabbit skin
Enwrapped His beauty round;
But as the hunter braves drew nigh,
The angel song rang loud and high:
Jesus your King is born, Jesus is born,
In excelsis gloria.

The earliest moon of wintertime
Is not so round and fair
As was the ring of glory on
The helpless Infant there.
The chiefs from far before Him knelt
With gifts of fox and beaver pelt.
Jesus your King is born, Jesus is born,
In excelsis gloria.

O children of the forest free,
O sons of Manitou,
The holy Child of earth and Heav’n
Is born today for you.
Come kneel before the radiant Boy,
Who brings you beauty, peace and joy.
Jesus your King is born, Jesus is born,
In excelsis gloria.
--Jean de Brébeuf translated by Jesse Edgar Middleton

I knew that this Christmas carol was the earliest "American" carol, having been written in what is now Canada in the 1600's. What I didn't know before looking it up was that the English words above were written in the 1920's and have little to do with the original text besides describing the Christmas story. The modern English version puts the setting in something like Hiawatha's Indian village with braves and birch bark, whereas the original was the author's sincere attempt to explain the Biblical account of Christ's birth and its spiritual significance. If you want to see a more faithful, if less poetic translation, click here.

Stacking Cups and Sorting Cube

As you saw in the last post with videos, Elizabeth has been working hard at learning how to Put Things Into Other Things. She's especially interested in the stacking cups and the sorting shapes cube and will spend vast stretches of time working on fitting her toys together. One day, I was getting kind of bored with watching her do that, so I showed her how the cups can stack up and make a tower. This was incredibly exciting to Elizabeth, who started making happy exclaiming noises as if to say, "Wow! That's so cool! How come I've never seen anything that amazing before?!" She was quickly frustrated, however, by the fact that every time she tried to pick up the tower, it simply fell over. While she was angrily trying to pick up the pieces and make them all go back together, only in her lap this time, she picked up the littlest yellow cup.

If you look at the pictures, you will see that the littlest cup doesn't really belong with this set. It's hexagonal rather than round, and a slightly different color, and though you can stuff it into the green cup, it sort of goes halfway and sticks there. Up 'till now, Elizabeth has been treating the green and yellow cups as a unit to be stuffed into other cups. When I was building the tower though, I pulled the yellow one out, and put it on top of the green. When Elizabeth knocked the tower down, she was able to pick up the yellow cup and really look at it.

I could see on her face that she could tell that something was different about this cup. I could almost hear the song, "One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others," playing in the background. She looked at it, twisted it, tasted it, then crawled over to the sorting shapes cube, and shoved it in one of the holes! Yes, that's right. She figured that it looked a lot more like the sorting shapes than the stacking cups (which it does, it's even about the right size), she decided it ought to be with the other sorting shapes, she found the cube, and managed to get it into one of the holes on her first try (which she can't always do with the sorting shapes themselves because they have a tighter fit). I think this is an amazing leap of logic for a baby who's not yet a year old, and I'm terribly proud of her.

Christmas Ornaments

Elizabeth thinks, and rightly so, that the Christmas tree is awe inspiringly pretty and sparkly and wonderful. She has learned the sign for Light (her third after Hi and Book), and uses it for both lights, and other pretty things that she wants to have -- both of which refer to the Christmas Tree. She also makes the sign at the Jingle Bell wreath on the front door that she loves to jingle each time we go in or out, the dining room chandelier, and the little doll in the Strawberry Shortcake music box.

Still, no matter how much she wants the tree and the things on it, she is very careful when she reaches out to touch it. For instance, many times, she'll just tap the ornament with her fingers and watch it swing. When she does grab, if the hook or string catches, and it's not easy to get off, she'll try a different one rather than just pulling harder.

Her favorite ornament, the one she goes for first, and most often, is the Golden Snitch, which is actually a pencil sharpener, but which always looked like it belonged on a Christmas tree to me. She also likes the various jingle bell ornaments, and the candy-tin ornaments that she can pull apart and fit back together again (both of which are visible in the bhoto below).

Yesterday, while playing with the biggest jingle bell, she tried to put it back on the tree. She seemed disappointed when it slid through the branches and fell on the floor, and pleased when I picked it up and hung it correctly. We played that game a few more times, then she picked up another ornament that was on the floor, this time a gold snowflake. She managed to get this one to stay on the tree by laying it flat on a couple of branches, but again seemed disappointed. It took me a moment to see that she didn't like the way it sat still on the branch instead of hanging up by the string so it could sway and twirl. She was very happy when I hung it, and the other ornaments she handed me, the right way. Not only is my baby clever, she has an eye for aesthetics.

Nesquik

Her cleverness at making connections doesn't always pay off in ways that make me cheerfully applaud her and give her what she wants. We were at the grocery store, and she got very agitated when we went down the aisle with the Nesquik in it. She REALLY wanted to reach out and touch the big canisters of Nesquik, and when I let her do it, she REALLY wanted me to open one up. I was confused, and wasn't about to start opening containers for her in the grocery store, so I put it back on the shelf and started to move away. Something in the sound of her distressed cries finally rang a bell in my memory, and I realized that it was the same noise she makes when the bath water is going down the drain, and all her bath toys are being put away...in a big Nesquik canister with holes drilled in the bottom! The poor thing, cold, tired, hungry, and sick of being dragged here, there, and everywhere by Mama, thought that she was going to get her bath toys, and maybe even a warm bath. Instead, Mama put it back on the shelf and went to look at soup. :(

Shoes

This picture from October shows the cute little bluebird shoes I made for Elizabeth. Because it was so cold today (Yes, I know, you'd all love to get a nice warm day in the high 50's and low 60's but everything is relative), I thought Elizabeth ought to have a sweater and shoes for our weekly visit to the park. I put on the pink sweater Mom knitted (the one with flower buttons and embellishments), and the bluebird shoes. Elizabeth has worn those shoes before without any problem, but today, she just freaked out. She didn't want them on her feet. When I got them on and tried to stand her up, she wouldn't let her feet touch the ground, she was just one unhappy girl. I was pretty sure she'd get over it if I distracted her, so I tried showing her the big teddy bear that always makes her smile. She would have none of it, and shoved the bear away.

Then she started pulling on the sweater, trying to get it off. I'd seen her do this move a few times before when she was hot, so I obliged by taking off the sweater. She looked at me as if to say, "OK. You do understand the concept of take-it-off so now, get rid of these shoes!" and she started yanking on the shoes again. She worked so hard at communicating that I didn't have the heart to make her leave them on, so I took them off. Once that was taken care of, she let me put the sweater back on (it was never a problem in the first place) and even let me choose a different pair of shoes, which she wore without complaint for several hours. This may have been the first battle over what she's willing to wear, but with a little girl as strong willed as this one, it certainly won't be the last.

Well that's all for today. Next time, I'll post our Christmas letter and photo since the ones I sent through the mail should have started arriving by now.

The Friendly Beasts by Robert Davis

2008-12-13T13:54:00.000-08:00

The Friendly Beasts: Jesus, our Brother, strong and good,
Was humbly born in a stable rude,
And the friendly beasts around Him stood,
Jesus, our Brother, strong and good.

“I,” said the donkey, shaggy and brown,
“I carried His mother uphill and down,
I carried His mother to Bethlehem town;
I,” said the donkey, shaggy and brown.

“I,” said the cow, all white and red,
“I gave Him my manger for His bed,
I gave Him hay to pillow His head;
I,” said the cow, all white and red.

“I,” said the sheep with curly horn,
“I gave Him my wool for His blanket warm,
He wore my coat on Christmas morn;
I,” said the sheep with curly horn.

“I,” said the dove, from the rafters high,
“I cooed Him to sleep that He should not cry,
We cooed Him to sleep, my mate and I;
I,” said the dove, from the rafters high.

Thus all the beasts, by some good spell,
In the stable dark were glad to tell
Of the gifts they gave Emmanuel,
The gifts they gave Emmanuel.
--Traditional translated by Robert Davis

Though I enjoy Christmas Carols, and especially old traditional ones, I wasn't really aware of this carol until I got a book based on it at a library booksale (the picture above is from that book). I was reading the book to Elizabeth this Christmas, and thought I'd share it with the rest of you. If you don't know the tune, I've embedded a youtube video below.

There's an old legend that says that animals can speak at Midnight on Christmas Eve -- which is what they mean by the "good spell" in the last verse. I think what I like best about this song is the way the first and fourth lines of each verse are the same, and the second and third are just slight variations. It makes the carol very easy to memorize and/or sing along with if you don't know the words yet. My only real problem with it is that unless they sheared the sheep that night, it probably wasn't his personal wool that kept the baby warm.

I just wanted to share with the world how proud I am of my daughter this week. Not only is she contnuing to take a few tentative steps, proving that the first step last week wasn't a fluke, but she is figuring out how toys work right and left.

First, here's a quick video of a few steps.

Kathey Ahlstrom sent Elizabeth a Fisher Price Nativity set for Christmas, and I decided to open it early and let her play with it.

Elizabeth thinks it's the coolest thing in the world right now, and it's often enough to distract her from the very tempting Christmas tree.

The sweater she's wearing is one that Marcelle made for her. Isn't it cute? And it's big enough that she can still wear it now that it's finally getting cool here.

The two blue wisemen are her favorite characters. It was while playing with one of them that she made her first big breakthrough this week.

One of the activities she hadn't quite mastered on her big house toy was the waterspout. You can see it in the walking video -- it's the long purple tube on the side. The idea is to take a ball and put it in the hole at the top, then let it drop to the bottom where it flips a switch, counts how many you've put down, and sings a song. Elizabeth has been playing with the balls, but hasn't been interested in putting them down the waterspout. Well one night, she was playing with the wisemen, and wandered over to the house where she shoved him down head first, he fell down the tube, flipped the switch, and was very pleased when he made it play the song. She picked him up and repeated the process a few more times, looking over at me each time to make sure I saw what she did and was appropriately impressed. Since then she has figured out that the balls get stuck less often, so she's been using them. Once, she casually shoved a few balls in over her shoulder while looking at the TV instead of the waterspout.

As you can see from the Nativity videos, one of her favorite things to do with toys is smash them together to see how they interact. Sometimes they make a nice noise, and other times they kind of interlock, and often, they just sort of slide past each other making her drop them before picking them up and trying again in a slightly different configuration. She will keep this up for quite a long time, working very hard at whatever it is she thinks she's doing. This week, her hard work paid off with the stacking cups.

Until now, she has only been able to take the cups apart, and knock down the towers I make, but this week she worked out a method of putting one cup inside another! She still experiments with putting big cups inside small ones, and seeing if they'll work upside down or sideways as well as right-side up, but more and more often, she can take any two cups and get one inside the other. It was really cool to watch the concept finally click together in her head on Wednesday or Thursday evening. I even woke Peter up to make sure he got to see (he was sick, and resting).

Since then, I've been showing her how the sorting shapes work. She's more interested in fitting them together in her hands than putting them into the box, but she does understand what I'm asking her to do, and occasionally she'll give it a try to humor me, and sometimes, she even gets the shapes to go into the right holes. She really is a clever clever child.

She may have picked up a new baby sign -- Light -- since I put up the Christmas decorations, but it may jus tbe what her hands do when she sees something pretty that she wants. I don't know. Maybe we can reinforce the Light connection, and go from there.

Well, Elizabeth seems to NEED me right now, so I'll sign off.

How Firm a Foundation by Robert Keen

2008-12-05T14:45:00.000-08:00

How Firm a Foundation: How firm a foundation, ye Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in his excellent word!
What more can he say than to you he hath said,
Who unto the Savior, who unto the Savior,
Who unto the Savior for refuge have fled?

In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee, and sanctify to thee,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, thy dross to consume,
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

E’en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sov’reign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still, like lambs shall they still,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!
--Robert Keen

One of Heather's friends, Lindsay Kale Hilty has been writing a series of articles on mental health issues pulsejournal.com/mentalhealth. She is looking for ideas to put in a Bible Study book for those suffering from depression. I wrote her an email, and as these things so often do, it turned into something appropriate to post on my blog. So here it is!

One of my favorites is a scene from the story of Mary and Elisabeth in Luke Chapter 1:

41 And it came to pass, that, when Elisabeth heard the salutation of Mary, the babe leaped in her womb; and Elisabeth was filled with the Holy Ghost:
42 And she spake out with a loud voice, and said, Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb.
43 And whence is this to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
44 For, lo, as soon as the voice of thy salutation sounded in mine ears, the babe leaped in my womb for joy.
45 And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.
46 And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,
47 And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.
48 For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.
49 For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name.
50 And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.
51 He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
52 He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
53 He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
54 He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
55 As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever.

Elisabeth's name means "God will build you a house" or translated another way, "God will give you sons and daughters (a household)." Elisabeth knew that part of the covenant God made with Abraham, and through him, the whole house of Israel was that he would give them the promised land, and children as numberless as the sands of the sea.

Gen. 26: 4
And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;

Elizabeth's very name reminded her that God promised her children. Yet for so many years, she was barren. All the same, when she heard the news, she believed (it was her husband who needed a sign).

In verse 45, she says (paraphrased), "God keeps his promises to those who believe." Then Mary expands on the idea saying, "he has truly blessed me, and with this baby, he will bless the whole world. He's fulfilling his covenant with Abraham that through his seed, all the nations of the earth shall be blessed."

During the years when my life seemed so hard, and I didn't have the things I wanted, the things that God had promised me -- a loving faithful husband, children to raise and teach about Him, and the health I need to be able to accomplish His plans for me -- I read this section and said to myself, "God keeps his promises. God will build you a house. It may not be on the schedule you hope for, but Blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord. It will happen one day." And it did -- I have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter -- named Elizabeth.

And it's not just the promise of a family that he'll keep. There are SOOOO many others. One of my favorite hymns lists several that I have clung to in moments of despair (see poem above). Each of the promises in it come from the scriptures. For instance:

Isa. 41: 10
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Much of my Bible study while depressed consists of looking for these promises in scripture, and reaffirming to myself that they will indeed be fulfilled -- maybe not on my time table, but they'll happen nonetheless.

Baby Steps by Bobbi Duffy

2008-11-25T15:11:00.000-08:00

Baby Steps: Yesterday I stepped out of my
Comfort zone
I went to the city fair
All alone
I smiled as I made
My way
Down the street
As if to say
Here I am world
I’m alive
I’ve decided
I want to thrive
I want to be part
Of the world again
And this is the beginning
Of my campaign
To set my body
And spirit free
To take what life has
To offer me
To get out of the rut
I was in
And this is how
I choose to begin
One thing that
I have learned
It doesn’t matter
If my smile
is returned
My smiling is
Its own reward
Because I do it
Of my own accord
And that makes it
A grace to my soul
And that, after all
Is the ultimate goal
So I’ll continue to take a step
Forward each day
Because that is
The only way
That I can
Build a life anew
By slowly changing
My point of view
--Bobbi Duffy

Well, after that last post, it's time for some happy baby Elizabeth news.

The first thing I've been noticing lately is the way she plays with toys. I first noticed this behavior when she was playing with the Fisher Price stacking rings. first she pulls all the rings off the spindle (she has the dexterity to put them back on, but has no interest in doing it). Next she picks up one donut shaped ring and holds it joyfully over her head like a trophy and does a little happy bounce. Then she spots another ring and tries to pick it up too. Sometimes she'll pick it up in her other hand, knock the two together and enjoy the sound they make. Usually, though, she'll try to pick them both up in the same hand. To do this, she puts one down on top of the other and pushes down hard, trying to stretch her fingers around both. She can sometimes manage to get them both if she's using the small red and orange rings, but most of the time one slips off of the other, causing her to lose her balance, and tip over. Undeterred, she'll get back up on her hands and knees and try again over and over and over.

Once I figured out what she was doing with the stacking rings, I saw that she did the same thing with most of her other toys with varying degrees of success. She can get both of her favorite rattles (the one from the exersaucer, and the Johnson and Johnson one with six blue balls that go into a red and white striped tube) into one hand. She can also sometimes get two ping pong balls or Fisher Price Little People. I don't know why it's so important to her, but she spends a lot of time working on it.

Another thing she spends a lot of time on is books. Every day, sometimes two or three times a day, she'll want to sit and read book after book. It starts when we sit down in the rocker to nurse. She spots the bookshelf and starts making "MMMMMMM mmmm" or "Uhhhhhh uhhhhhh" noises that mean "I want that!" I say, "Do you want a book?" and she smiles and looks at the bookcase some more. Then I try to get her to sign "book" to me so that she'll eventually realize that there are better ways of communicating than "Mmmmmmm mmmmmmmm" and a longing gaze. I'll make the sign for book (hands together like you're praying, then open them up like a book), which gets her really excited, then I'll push her hands together. By this time, she understands what I want her to do, and she will open her hands like a book, then laugh with glee because she knows what comes next -- the actual book!

She has definite views on which books are interesting, and which aren't. She will have nothing to do with Sandra Boynton's drawings, and actively pushes them away. Photos of babies are the best, but she also loves her Little Gorilla book. She also has favorite pictures in the books. For instance, in Little Gorilla, she always stops and looks in fascinated awe at the picture of the lion, and she looks surprised and happy when we see that Little Gorilla was BIG! Finally, she gives a happy chirp and bounce on the Happy Birthday page. But nothing beats her very favorite picture from the Baby Signs for Bedtime book. On the Love page, there's a photo of a toddler hugging a baby, and Elizabeth's whole face lights up every time she sees it. She pats the babies and smiles, and sometimes she'll even turn to the previous page, and then back to this one so she can see it again.

Here's a video of me reading her Happy Baby Colors and Little Gorilla

Once we're done with a book, I put it back on the shelf, and she reaches with her whole body for another one. We go through the process of getting her to sign "book" again, and she gives a laugh of nervous relief because Mama reaches for another book. Generally it'll take six or seven books to satisfy her.

Today, I was feeling quite ill, and had to put her down after only about four books, and she wanted more. She started to walk towards the bookcase with one hand on the arm of the rocker, and the other on the side of the crib. When she got to the end of the crib, she was about two steps away from the bookcase. She reached out with the hand that was holding onto the rocker, and could almost get there, but not quite. So then she let go with both hands and took the last step unsupported before grabbing onto the bookcase! I'll admit, that I had imagined her first step being from my arms to her Daddy's, where she'd get a shower of kisses rather than a weak, "Good Job!" from a Mama who hardly has the energy to sit up, but it does make me happy that it was books that motivated her to venture into the unknown. And Peter and I will have plenty of time to practice walking and showering her with kisses.

For your viewing pleasure, here are some fun pictures I took of Elizabeth and her friends wearing the tutus I've been making. Her friend Anna stalwartly refuses to have anything to do with tutus, but other girls in our park group are not so anti-ruffles and were more than happy to play dress up. In fact, they had so much fun that one of the boys came over and said that he wanted to wear the red one because, "It's the Boy tutu."

And now, here's one more funny story because we all need a laugh sometimes. While I was working on one of the tutus at the park, a little girl, about 3 years old, came to watch me. She wanted to try it on when I was done with it, but I got interrupted when Elizabeth fell off the stroller she was trying to climb and needed some comfort. She was also tired and hungry, so I decided to try nursing her. The little girl seemed confused as Elizabeth latched on the first time, and craned her neck to get a better look. This distracted Elizabeth, who let go for a second, then went back to nursing. The little girl looked up at me and said, "Oh! I see! She's suckin' on your boob!"

Well, that's all for now. If any of you want to buy tutus for the little girls (or boys) in your life, they make great Christmas presents that can be worn all year long. Drop me a line, and I'll give you a special blog reader's discount.

PS I've got more tutu photos, photos of Elizabeth in November, and Youtube videos up too!

Lines Composed in a Wood on a Windy Day by Anne Bronte

2008-11-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

Lines Composed in a Wood on a Windy Day: My soul is awakened, my spirit is soaring
And carried aloft on the wings of the breeze;
For above and around me the wild wind is roaring,
Arousing to rapture the earth and the seas.

The long withered grass in the sunshine is glancing,
The bare trees are tossing their branches on high;
The dead leaves beneath them are merrily dancing,
The white clouds are scudding across the blue sky

I wish I could see how the ocean is lashing
The foam of its billows to whirlwinds of spray;
I wish I could see how its proud waves are dashing,
And hear the wild roar of their thunder to-day!
--Anne Bronte

The sky here is overcast. They say it might rain. I sure wish it would. The world needs to be washed after those fires. Of course, rain after fire brings the danger of landslides, and lightning could start more fires. When it rains, it pours, they say -- but waiting for the rain is the worst.

Heather called me the other day, and our conversation started something like this:

H: I haven't heard from you in a while, so I thought I'd call and see how things are going.
K: Sorry I haven't written in a while, it's been a crazy couple of weeks.
H: Yeah, well you said that when you hadn't written, that's when we should start so worry, so...
K: I guess that's true.

It's been nearly a month since I've written anything, and my anxiety level has just kept going up since that last post.

First there was the election. With all the work and worry that went into the Prop 8 campaign, I was excited for election night because at least then it would be over -- but then it wasn't. The news just kept coming and getting worse and worse. Now it looks like it'll be at least March before we get another ruling from the supreme court, and even if it comes out in our favor, that will just spark another round of protests.

Then there's Peter's job. It was Tokyopop's implosion and the layoffs in June that really started this current bout of anxiety attacks. Five months of not knowing what the future will bring, especially with daily news of the rest of the economy going into self destruct, has really taken a toll. Peter has been sending out resumes, and doing his best to network to find a job, but even when a company president personally requested his resume, there has been zero response -- not even a 'we got your resume but we're not interested right now.' Well, last week he finally got a response! Penguin's Children's division, Price Stern Sloan needs a Senior Production Editor, and they want one fast. Peter spoke with them Tuesday, took their copyediting test and returned it by Wednesday, then had a phone interview on Friday morning that lasted nearly an hour. They asked him how soon he could start, and whether he really needed to give a full two weeks notice to his temp job.

He has just about all the specific skills they're looking for, and I think he has a really good chance for this job. I think that if he got this job it would be a really good thing for his career and our family. At the same time, if he gets this job, it means he'd have to go to NYC to start right away, and I would be left behind to pack up everything we own and say goodbye to all my good friends here, and hope that we can sell the mobile home, and leave Grandma Stay knowing I'll probably never see her again. But if he doesn't get the job, then he's still stuck with a horrible commute to a job he doesn't enjoy, that has no benefits, and no obligation to give him any notice at all if they decide they don't want him anymore.

I don't know which option is worse, or when they'll call to tell us one way or the other (though they did promise to call), and all I can do is just wait and pray that Heavenly Father knows what He's got planned for us and will make everything turn out for the best.

Meanwhile, one of my friends talked me into making tutus to sell at craft boutiques, and I've gone kind of crazy throwing myself into this project. I hope I'll be able to make back what I've spent on supplies. I've made more than 50 tutus now, and since this is one thing that I have any control over, my brain has latched onto it, and for several nights, I couldn't sleep at all for all the cute ideas for embellishments and accessories that came flooding in. Peter asked me one day, "are you sure this isn't a manic project?" and I had to answer, "No, I'm not at all sure." The first boutique is on Dec 6th -- the same day as the ward Christmas party that I'm supposed to help set up for -- and the weekend that Peter has decided to go to Salt Lake for our niece Hazel's baby blessing (that's his sister Barbie's baby, for those of you that hadn't heard) which means that he can't watch Elizabeth that day.

WARNING: This paragraph may contain TMI for some people. Feel free to skip. Stress does bad things to my digestive tract. I've had something bordering on diarrhea for about a month now, and every day it gets harder to put food in knowing that it's going to feel so bad coming back out. I'm also getting less and less nutrition from the food I eat, and I'm pushing my body harder and harder to burn off the nervous energy (I've been laying more bricks and replanting the gardens). All of that means that I'm losing weight, and since all of the baby fat is gone, my muscles are getting weaker too. I've caught a cold, and it just keeps getting worse. It's harder and harder to get out of bed to take care of Elizabeth at night, and it's nearly impossible to make myself prepare any food at all.

I went to my therapist on Saturday -- we'd had several weeks break, and when she saw me and read my state of mind questionnaire, she said, "I think that you have been too anxious for too long. You need to think about getting back on medication." I agree with her -- my brain is not working the way it should, and I've made some irrational decisions, but it still feels like defeat, and I worry about what even the "safe" drugs will do to Elizabeth -- though I don't think I'm ready to wean her either.

Peter's birthday is this week, and I'm worried that he'll feel let down by a very low key celebration like I did in May, but I didn't plan far enough ahead to get any friends to come over, and most of them will be going out of town for Thanksgiving anyway.

Elizabeth is getting better and better at getting into things, and doesn't sweetly stay put like she did before she could crawl. I had to take a break from writing just now to stop her from gnawing the paint a plaster off the windowsill and pulling the tall lamp down on her head. Right now, she's crying softly to herself in her crib. She's been fed and read to, and now I'm hoping she'll go to sleep, but if the rest of the week is any guide, I have about a 50/50 chance.

Well, there you go. A thoroughly depressing post. I have some happy news too, but I think I'll make two posts today instead of one long one.

Children Learn What They Live by Dorothy Law Nolte Ph.D.

2008-11-03T07:46:00.001-08:00

Children Learn What They Live: If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
--Dorothy Law Nolte Ph.D.

I first remember reading this quote (I'm not sure the author quite meant it as a poem) on the attic stairs in our white house in Michigan. Rationally, I'm not certain that it was actually there -- it's more likely that I saw it on a poster in some classroom I was in -- but I do remember thinking about it there. It's odd that I have such a sense of place with this poem, and not with so many others. If it was in Michigan, that means I was less than ten years old. It really made an impression on me for some reason. I really believe that the world our children grow up in makes a difference in how they grow up, which is why this election and the Prop 8 campaign have been so important to me.

With all the election stuff, it's been a few weeks since I wrote about what Elizabeth is doing. After a particularly bad hour or two spent arguing in somebody's comment thread, I was physically ill for a hours, and have been getting flashes of intrusive thoughts accompanied by nausea for days, so I've declared that subject off limits for discussion (though I'm still willing to do things like hang fliers on doorknobs and call to remind supporters to vote). At any rate, that gives me permission to blog about the baby, so here we go.

She has been ahead of schedule (according to What to Expect in the First Year) on all of her gross motor skills, but she has only been on schedule or even slightly behind on communication, and that had me slightly worried (only very slightly, since I know that there is a wide range of normal, and she's been working so hard at locomotion). For example, she hasn't seemed to pay any attention at all to the baby signs I've been using, which some babies start at eight months, and she hasn't been imitating sounds or gestures like sticking out a tongue. When we went to the doctor for her nine month checkup, and she couldn't do some of the things the doctor asked about, like clapping her hands or feeding herself with a spoon, I realized, too, that I simply haven't been practicing some things with her.

It made me really happy therefore to see her start waving hello to people and things this month. I've been waving her hand when strangers or friends come to smile at her (and get a winning smile in return most times), and now she doesn't wait for me to do it for her. She waves at all sorts of other things too -- her reflection in the mirror, the kitties we see on our walks, and even the chorister at church (who she thought was just waving at her).

She has also started saying Mama. She realized that this sound is one that Mama really likes, and she's using it more and more often. At this point, I don't think she uses the word to label me specifically so much as, "Oh look, there's something I really really want!" She uses it when I walk in or out of a room and she wants to be picked up, but she also uses it when she sees something cool like my hair clips or phone, and they're out of reach. That said, I can deal with being the really cool thing that she wants most often.

One extremely cute thing that I have unfortunately not been able to catch on camera is Elizabeth's little trill. She's discovered a way of making a little trilling gurgling noise, and has added it to her vocal repertoire as an accentuating noise when she's very happy, very upset, or very tired. It's the same sort of sound as you get when you rrrrroll yourrrr Rrrrrr's for a long time, but it's made in the back of her throat rather than with the tip of her tongue.

She seems very focused on sound lately. She has two toy xylophone pianos that she hasn't been very interested in playing herself, but liked to hear me play. When putting her toys away the other day, I put the tiger piano on the upper shelf to keep her from dumping out the box of hats behind it when she pulls up on the shelf to stand. The next time she did it, the piano was at the perfect level to bang on while standing. She tried it, and was very impressed with herself. She'd hit a key, hear the note, smile, and look expectantly at me. I showered on praise appropriately, and she did it over and over, thrilled with having figured it out.

One of her favorite noise games is to take a ball from the big house toy and knock it against something to make a noise. She tries it on walls, boxes, bookcases, a ball in her other hand, etc. One of the cutest things she does is to knock it on the side of the bowl on her play table like she's cracking an egg. Then she'll put the ball in the bowl and roll it with her fingers to make another noise until it pops out of the bowl and goes rolling across the floor. Then she'll go find it and try again.

She's also gotten more elaborate in her play with the Strawberry Shortcake Jewelry Music Box. At first, she just liked to watch me open it to make the music play and the little figure dance. Then she learned to open it herself when I shut it again. Now, she takes full control, opening and shutting -- seeing just how far it has to go to make the music stop and start. She also imitates what I say for the game: "Ooooh! There's the pretty girl dancing. Isn't she pretty?" She can't say any of the words but Ooooh! but she gets the pitch and tone of voice just right. Finally, rather than just taking the valentines and little doll out to try to eat them, now she turns them over in her hands, looks at them very carefully, then puts them back in the box!

It's only been in the last week or so that she has begin to figure out how to put things in to other things. She's really good at taking things out -- she takes the Fisher Price little people out of their bus, she takes the plastic shapes out of the sorting cube, she takes the rings off the stacking toy, and she takes the Valentines out of the music box. This week, though, she has started putting stuff back in -- so far it's just the puts the balls in the bowl and the valentines back into the music box, but she's so pleased with these accomplishments, that I'm sure further generalizations are on the way.

One old thing I haven't blogged about is her fondness for photos. All of her favorite books have photos rather than drawings, and most of them are about babies. The Baby Signs board books are really great, but she has one about colors, and another about dogs that really fascinate her far more than drawings do. Of course her favorite photos are of herself. I put one of the Queen Elizabeth pictures on my computer desktop, and whenever I close a program and show that background, she starts making happy noises. She loves to look at the Picasa slide show, and will watch as many videos of herself as I choose to show her -- even protesting when one stops and another doesn't start quickly enough. It's not just the movement, she is only selectively interested in YouTube videos for example, I think she really likes watching herself. When she's tired, sad or groggy just before or after a nap, it also calms her down to look at the month by month photo collage on her wall, and the charcoal portrait I had done of myself when I was in Leningrad.

While this book doesn't have photos, it's one of her favorites. I think she has realized that reading a book is a kind of game with rules that she's starting to figure out. She will sit very still while I read most books, and help me turn the pages. Sometimes she picks up a book and tries to open it herself, and is very pleased when I notice and read it to her. She has also figured out how to open the little hiding panels that are in some board books, and likes this added interactive part.

On the walking front, she is a positive expert now at pulling up, standing unsupported so that she can have both hands free for toys, and walking along edges. I've only ever seen her take one little step, and that was just to fix her balance while standing (10-20-08 if anybody's keeping track). I sometimes hold her hands and we walk together a long way, like from my bedroom down the hall to the office. We got her a Step Start Walk N Ride toy and she's figured out how to walk behind it as she pushes it ahead of her. It's a little tricky -- the first couple of times she pushed it forward too quickly and fell on her face (though she just got right back up and tried again, so it must not have hurt too much).

Peter was surprised at the way she often kneels and sits on her heels rather than sitting with her feet in front of her. I'm not sure if that's unusual, or if most babies do it, but it certainly seems to work well for her. In the last day or two she's begun to use this position to do a happy bounce when she's particularly pleased with herself. For instance yesterday at church, she got her friend Ari's rattle, and held it triumphantly above her head like a trophy and bounce bounce bounced so hard that she tipped over backwards and bumped her head (she was a little wired from lack of naps with the time change). I'm a little worried about her habit of taking Ari's toys. Elizabeth is three months older, and big for her age, and she simply knocks Ari down, and steals whatever it is that she has. I've resigned myself to the fact that the two of them share so much spit from sucking on each other's toys that they're destined to have all the same germs and colds , but I don't want Elizabeth to learn that she can get what she wants by bullying other kids.

Finally, I wanted to talk about what Elizabeth does while eating, since Heather reminded me by writing on her blog all about what Anna does. Elizabeth has always been pretty good at communicating hungry, though specific "words" have come and gone. There was rooting when I touched her mouth, a specific pitiful little cough, an urgent MMMMMMMMmmmm MMMmmmmmm with a pleading look, and a relieved nervous laugh as I open my shirt. She's often very patient while I'm doing something else, but at the first sign of a shift in activity, she'll demand to be fed right now.

She will feed herself cereal puffs and other bite sized bits I put in front of her, but she prefers to have me put things in her mouth for her and will often lean forward and slurp something out of my hand rather than taking it in her own (now that I've noticed this, I've been careful to make her do it herself most of the time). She absolutely refuses to hold her own bottle unless she's laying down though. She has noticed that when Mama holds it, stuff comes out, and when she holds it all the juice sits at the bottom and she gets nothing out. Rather than learn to tilt the bottle up, she has decided that the best course of action is to get her hands as far away from it as possible and cry till Mama holds it for her. The only time I give her bottles is in the car when she's too tired hungry and cranky to just watch the world go by, and at church, and neither place is appropriate for a power struggle over the issue, so I've just been giving in (I know I need to take the time to teach her at home, but it's hard to take the time to feed myself real food, let alone get out bottles and baby food and make a big mess when nursing is so much easier).

Speaking of nursing, she's getting much more willing to at least start nursing in places other than her bedroom. Of course, she gets distracted and will nurse only in fits and starts if at all, but it's better than it was before. When in her bedroom, she sits on my lap and watches impatiently while I get all those pesky layers of cloth out of the way, then leans forward, grabs a hunk of breast in her fist, and latches on without even waiting to get into a comfortable position. She is remarkably good at holding tight while I shift her to her side, position her feet, and grab a blanket or toy for her to hold while she nurses. Heather says Anna will rub a blanket between her fingers, but that's not Elizabeth's way. The only thing she likes to rub is a pinch of my skin. She does like to have a blanket, but she just grabs a handfull of it and pushes and pulls the cloth around while she eats. If she was holding a particularly fascinating toy while waiting, she'll keep hold of it and hold it in front of her face to keep looking at it while nursing. I think that, like me, she can focus on a mindless task better if she's doing something else with her hands and eyes. Sometimes, she gets so interested in whatever it is that she's playing with that she'll stop eating and put the other thing in her mouth for a moment to try it out, but then she'll realize that it's not nearly as nice as what she had in there before and go back to nursing.

When she's done, she's very clear about it. She'll physically push me away and sit herself up. If she's tired at this point, she'll lean even farther forward and grab onto her crib like she's trying to climb in. In these lucky moments, I'll put her in bed, give her one blanket to hold and snuggle with, cover her up with another, pop her favorite pacifier in her mouth (MAM brand), and pull one of the music box stuffed animals attached to the rail. Then I'll turn on the fan for some white noise so that my puttering around the house won't wake her, turn out the light (I have blackout curtains on the windows so it's nice and dark in there) and close the door. If I'm really lucky, she won't even make a peep as she drifts off to dreamland.

The Pea Princess by Colleen Mills

2008-10-31T20:38:00.000-07:00

The Pea Princess: She arches like a bowed branch of willow,
Quivering from stem to leaf.
With each flex of the wrists,
Roll of a shoulder,
Gentle realignment of the ribs,
The lump burrows deeper.

Now beneath the breast plate,
Now between hipbone and pelvis,
Now knotted at the base of the neck,
Clicking between the knobs of the spinal column
Where the vertebrae, like the panels of a washboard, find the lump,
As it rickets over the thinly sheathed bones with each shift in motion.

Whether between knucklebones or toe bones,
Nestled in the many small joints and junctures of the body,
It journeys like a pebble smoothed over in a sea of feathers,
Pressing against the inside of the knee cap,
Working its way up the thigh,
Wandering the flesh land of the belly.

Each night the same rotation
As she arches, curves, twines her body about the bedposts,
Weaved like a tight shoe lace between the pillars of the bed,
Spiraling between the sheets
Trying to find the one place
Such a lump will fit beneath her frame.

With each stretch,
Each extension or contortion of a limb,
The minutest of lumps,
Buried beneath bedding twenty upon twenty layers high,
Burrows still deeper, pressing into the skin of thinly padded skeletal extensions
As it grates to a final rest against the gentle hollow above the collarbone.

Like the smoothed sand in the mouth of an oyster,
The tenderest of peas seeks shelter
In only the softest concaves of flesh,
Where the pea, like the pearl,
Proves perfection
By defining the flaw.
--Colleen Mills

For your trick-or-treating pleasure: BLOG CANDY!!!

I have a piece of scrapbook paper that I bought before Elizabeth was born that has babies in pea pods on it. I've wanted to make her a pea pod bunting for months. Now that she's outgrowing even the biggest of the fleece sleepers Mom made her, I thought I ought to finally get it done before she's walking and refuses to wear it.

Well, I made one, and took her picture in it, and she is indeed telling me she's not gonna let me put it on her again. I was short on fabric, so it's a little small, and her legs get cramped. So Now I'm offering it to any of my blog readers with a baby smaller than mine. Halloween's over, but it's cute enough to wear anytime, even just for one photo. Leave me a comment if you'd like it, and if more than one person wants it, I'll hold a drawing or something.

Isn't Elizabeth cute in it? And her little doll too. I had enough scraps of slightly different colors to make a copy for the doll (I'm keeping that one, sorry. It's a good way to have the memory of Elizabeth's without taking up closet space with an outfit she won't wear -- and besides, how likely is it that you'd have a doll the same size? Also, I bought the doll at a thrift store, and she doesn't have any other clothes.)

I was trying to take cute pictures, but Elizabeth wasn't happy to be in the outfit -- it was about 80 degrees, and 80% humidity. I got some OK shots like the ones above, but nothing really great. Then our grumpy chain smoking neighbor started talking to her -- saying, "Hi Elizabeth! What a cute girl you are!" That kind of attention has earned almost everyone she's ever met -- from friends and relatives to strangers at the grocery store -- a heart melting smile, and it worked again. I got the two shots you see below, which I think are some of the best of the bunch.

Here are the jack-o'-lanterns we carved Monday night for Family Home Evening. I really like the glowing effect in these photos (though some of it might be motion blur). The one on the left, Peter's pumpkin, was the one that grew in our garden this year. The vine died about a month ago, and we brought the pumpkin inside. I've been tapping on the rind pretty regularly, looking for soft spots, but it survived remarkably well. I carved the other two for myself and Elizabeth. The middle one is sort of sorry looking, but you have to understand that while most pumpkins have a paper thin rind on top of and inch or so of flesh, this pumpkin had a tough tough rind about a centimeter thick. It was like the gourds they use to make maracas out of -- almost like wood. I seriously got out of breath sawing just a few crooked triangles into it.

Here's Elizabeth looking at the pumpkins. Notice that she's eating the smile from the middle pumpkin. She actually ate the whole thing (not including the rind).

Here's some shots of little pumpkin head with the pumpkins in the daylight. Five days later in our warm moist California weather, the pumpkins are already looking saggy and gross inside, but Elizabeth doesn't mind. They're just three more interesting things in a world of interesting things.

We had a ward Trunk-or-treat party this evening. I thought I'd make our trunk go along with our costume theme (more on that below), so I made a kind of pixie hollow with flowers, autumn leaves, and lots of dolls dressed as elves and fairies.

I'm especially pleased with the little boy doll I made to match Peter's outfit with a leaf vest and acorn cap.

After last Halloween, I went to the after sales (a great way to pick up inexpensive costume pieces) and found a baby fairy costume. I have been trying to get a fairy costume together for myself for years, so I thought this would be a great excuse to finally do it. I made a few modifications to the baby costume to make it match mine -- I added the pink flower tutu over their white glittery one, and replaced the weird silver stuff that was approximating lacing with actual laced up ribbons. Here are a few shots of Elizabeth looking like a cute baby flower fairy. I think she looks almost worthy of Cecily Mary Barker, don't you?

Here, she's about to eat a stick.

And now Mama took the stick away, poor baby.

Here's my costume. I made the tutu this year, but the rest was stuff I already had that just needed a little tweaking. The corset is one I had made a few years ago for a flower fairy costume I never finished for an event I didn't end up going to. It could use about twice as many grommets, and about an inch more over the shoulders, but, eh, what can you do? The shirt is the silk one Mom made for my wedding dress. The headband is reworked from the one Mom made for Lesli's wedding (though the only photos I have of the event has Lesli wearing different flowers in her hair). The pants are the ones I got for my Princess Amidala in white costume. The two pairs of wings and the wand came from the dollar store.

Here is our whole family. Aren't we cute?

Peter was very kind to agree to wear the costume I made for him. A lot of my friend's husbands won't consider wearing any costume at all. I reused the vest from the Legolas costume I made for the Lord of the Rings themed Halloween at Driver Alliant (by the way, does anybody have a copy of the photo I sent out from that? I seem to have lost several digital photos from that year somewhere along the way). I needed to put in gussets under the arms and down the middle of the back to make it big enough for Peter since it had been made for a petite girl. I also added a lot of fun beads to the corners, including some large leaf-shaped glass ones I got from Wal-mart. They make a fun clinking sound as they knock against each other, and Elizabeth really wants to eat them. I had considered making leaves out of some scraps of green fabric left over from the quilt I made for Peter this year, but when I saw some leaf garlands at the Dollar Store, I figured my time was worth a lot more than $2, so I bought them and used them on his shirt and the trunk. I crocheted an acorn cap for Peter using pretty much the same pattern as the ones Miriam and I made for my nephews last October. A pair of my brown stretch maternity pants just fit Peter and finished off the outfit nicely.

While Peter was holding Elizabeth on his shoulders, they put on some music, and she was so excited by Shake Shake Shake Senora that she just had to shake and bounce herself.

Metrical Feet -- A Lesson for a Boy by Samuel Taylor Coleridge

2008-10-17T14:25:00.000-07:00

Metrical Feet -- A Lesson for a Boy: Trochee trips from long to short;
From long to long in solemn sort
Slow Spondee stalks, strong foot!, yet ill able
Ever to come up with Dactyl's trisyllable.
Iambics march from short to long.
With a leap and a bound the swift Anapests throng.
One syllable long, with one short at each side,
Amphibrachys hastes with a stately stride --
First and last being long, middle short, Amphimacer
Strikes his thundering hoofs like a proud high-bred Racer.

If Derwent be innocent, steady, and wise,
And delight in the things of earth, water, and skies;
Tender warmth at his heart, with these meters to show it,
With sound sense in his brains, may make Derwent a poet --
May crown him with fame, and must win him the love
Of his father on earth and his father above.
My dear, dear child!
Could you stand upon Skiddaw, you would not from its whole ridge
See a man who so loves you as your fond S.T. Colerige.
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I found this poem at my favorite poetry site while doing earlier posts when I was still trying to make this a blog about poetry rathern than a blog about my life with a poetic soundtrack.

For those of you who are confused about this poem and why it's so difficult to read smoothly, I'll offer a quick explanation, with a chart I'm stealing outright from the above-linked site.

Most poems pick a meter and stick with it the whole way through, and your mouth knows what to expect as you read aloud -- think how easy it is to read Dr. Seuss aloud even with all the nonsense words. In this poem, he takes each of the well known meters, and as soon as you get used to reading one, he changes to another. It's like running a race where you hop for ten steps, then grapevine, then skip then run, then walk backwards. It's doable, and interesting, but not elegant. This one was written as a study aide for his son.

The metres (where /, -, s and l are stressed, unstressed, short and long
syllables respectively)

Trochee / -
Spondee / /
Dactyl / - -
Iamb - /
Anapest - - /
Amphibrach s l s
Amphimacer l s l

The latter two feet are based on short and long rather than stressed and
unstressed syllables, and apply to Greek and Latin poetry.

When Mom sent me a link to a "poetic table of the elements" and said, "You MUST do a blog post on this!" I thought that it was going to be something similar where somebody had somehow organized poetic terms or "the elements" of poetry in a clever way.

It turned out to be a site that had a poem for each (well for most) of the elements in the regular old periodic table. It's a fun idea, and for a chemestry nerd like my brother David (and I say that with all the love in the world) it might be worth exploring. I don't know or care enough about chemestry to see which poems have clever ways of describing elements through words (I imagine something like having the number of words in each line indicate the electron levels while describing the physical properties, or assigning a style of poetry to each subgroup on the table). The site also has lots of annoying popup ads, so I didn't spend much time ther. I'll leave that to the chemestry nerds.

Mom also tagged me in a blog game where you pick the fourth folder in your My Pictures folder and post the fourth picture in that folder. My pictures are a bit more organized than most people's (big surprise there), and you have to go several folders deep before you get to actual pictures, but I just kept going fourth, fourth, fourth till I found the one posted above.

It's Kari Seaver and a guy named Chris, who may now be her fiance? Husband? I don't know. I'm sure somebody told me at the time (I think it was taken sometime in 2007), but I've forgotten. Kari is Steve's age. They were born at almost the same time, but Steve was always about twice as big as Kari. The Seavers are very good friends of our family from when we lived in Mighigan (lo many years ago), and one of the few families we've kept in touch with over the years. Kari also lived with us for a school year when she was having some trouble with friends at her own school in Detroit. Her Dad took the black and white photos of the six of us kids that hang on the wall in the dining room at Mom's house.

Well there you go mom! This post is for you. I'll tag Mike, Helena, Kathey, and Marci.

It Ain't Necessarily So by George and Ira Gershwin

2008-10-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

It Ain't Necessarily So: It ain't necessarily so
It ain't necessarily so
De things dat yo' liable to read in de Bible
It ain't necessarily so

Li'l David was small but oh my
Li'l David was small but oh my
He fought big Goliath who lay down and dieth
Li'l David was small but oh my

Oh Jonah he lived in de whale
Oh Jonah he lived in de whale
For he made his home in dat fish's abdomen
Oh Jonah he lived in de whale

Li'l Moses was found in a stream
Li'l Moses was found in a stream
He floated on water 'til ole Pharaoh's daughter
She fished him she says from that stream

It ain't necessarily so
It ain't necessarily so
Dey tell all you chillun de debble's a villain
But 'taint necessarily so

To get into Hebben don' snap for a sebben
Live clean, don' have no fault
Oh I takes dat gospel whenever it's pos'ble
But wid a grain of salt

Methus'lah lived nine hundred years
Methus'lah lived nine hundred years
But who calls dat livin' when no gal'll give in
To no man what's nine hundred years

I'm preachin' dis sermon to show
It ain't nessa, ain't nessa
Ain't nessa, ain't nessa
It ain't necessarily so
--George and Ira Gershwin

While looking at the responses to Google's announcement that they oppose Prop 8, I came across a blog where the author was obviously a Christian. When someone started trying to debate with him in the comment threads about whether the Bible says homosexual relations are a sin (by the way, the terms used in 1 cor 6:9-10 are as "ambiguous" in their meaning as gay and queer are today. You can claim that they mean happy and odd respectively, but everybody knows what you mean when you use them), he said:

I believe the entire Bible is the inspired Word of God. I believe it is completely historically accurate, inerrant, and as relevant today as when it was written.

While I respect this person for the strength of his faith, I'm glad that my church doesn't ask me to espouse and believe a statement that is so obviously and demonstrably wrong. For starters, which translation of the Bible is complete and inerrant? KJV? New International? or the version that puts it all in street slang? I am not trying to disparage this man's faith, just to show that it is easy for others to do so.

I should start by mentioning that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly. That means that we acknowledge that some error has crept in, but it's still mostly true. The real gem of our religion on this topic though, is that we don't have to rely on what's left of the Bible text to find out what God wants us to know today. If there is a question about what a passage of scripture means, or meant, or even said, we don't have to wait for some archaeologist to dig up the holy grail of Bible scholarship -- a first edition original -- we have modern prophets to tell us what God's word on the topic is TODAY.

Honestly, not every word of the Bible is meant to be taken literally. There's a LOT of symbolism in there. I don't think that even most people espousing the opinion quoted above believe that every parable that Christ taught was a true story about a real person. I wouldn't be upset to learn that some of the Old Testament stories (especially the ones in the "poetic books" like Job and Jonah) were made up to teach an important gospel lesson. And really, it doesn't matter whether it's literally accurate or not -- the Bible is still true.

Take, for example, the problems caused by making the creation story in Genesis a literal exact history. You get silliness like the Creation Museum. Official Church Doctrine on the subject says something like: "God Created the Earth. God Created Man in His Own Image. The Church Does Not Have an Official Position On How He Did It." That means that there is no need to be in conflict with scientific theories on the subject. While they might not have all the answers yet, the ideas of evolution, geology, astronomy, and physics are very practical ways of looking at the world, and have provided many life saving (and labor saving too) technological advances.

So when we want to know whether the Biblical condemnations of homosexual behavior are a mistranslation, or an outmoded social norm (like having to have your head covered to pray), or a commandment for another time that has now been fulfilled (like Christians believe the Law of Moses to be), we don't have to guess. We look to the prophet. And the prophet, Thomas S Monson has said that homosexual behavior is a sin, and that we, as church members should do all we can to pass Proposition 8.

I had been thinking about making a post that listed what I thought were the most potent arguments against allowing Same Sex Marriages, but then I found a sarcastic list floating around, and decided that I couldn't, in good conscience, post something that would feed that flame (The list is actually pretty funny, though I wouldn't go clicking around elsewhere on that site).

Instead, I'll just give a stream of consciousness outline of what I think when I think about it.

The Prophets and the scriptures tell us that any sexual relationship outside of marriage is a sin.
That includes Homosexual relations of any kind in the same way it includes adultery, fornication, sodomy, pederasty, incest, bestiality, and any other sexual relations outside of marriage.
- In online discussions I've read, proponents of Same Sex Marriage (SSM from now on) try to distance themselves from the last few things on the list, but they don't even bother trying to deny that homosexuality is like the first two, because they are so accepted (and even glorified) in our culture today that most kids aren't being raised in a home with two married parents anymore.
- Nobody tries to deny that committing adultery is a choice that someone makes. They may try to justify it by saying that they were sexually attracted to the other person, and they couldn't help their feelings, but no injured wife has ever felt less betrayed because she knew that her roving husband was so attracted to the marriage wrecker that he "just couldn't help himself." Indeed, using that argument just makes it worse, because as millions of faithfully married (and chaste single) people know, you can help yourself.
- As premarital and extramarital sex have become more acceptable in our culture, more and more people engage in them. I think it's my duty to help as many of God's children live moral lives as I can. That includes preaching at church that sex outside of marriage is wrong. The more acceptable SSM is, the more people will engage in this sin.
Fine, say the homosexuals, if it's just sex outside of marriage that bothers you, let us get married. Here's where it gets tricky.
- If you believe that there's such a thing as absolute Right and Wrong, and that God has given us commandments that ought to be followed, then the answer to that is, "Sorry, God, through His prophets and the scriptures, says that homosexual relations are a sin, and that marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman before God, and that's all there is to it."
- Those people who don't believe in God or any absolute right and wrong may be swayed by arguments about the social reasons for government-recognized marriage, but they're the ones that the sarcastic list I linked to above are aimed at. And the argument is compelling: if it makes me happy with no cost to you, then what do you care?
So if they're not allowed to get married, then they have to live their whole lives without a fulfilling sexual relationship? Sadly, yes.
So how can your Loving God justify that one? I had a hard time with this question for a while. I though of the single women out there who will never find a husband in this life, who are held to the same standard. But at least they still have hope... Again, it's a tough question without an easy answer. I encourage you to read this interview with Elder Dallin H. Oaks, one of our church's General Authorities. He talks very lovingly about these issues. Some points that I want to mention here are that same gender attraction is a temporary condition of mortality like paralysis or mental impairment that make it impractical or impossible to marry, but in the Resurrection and Eternity, it won't be a problem, and all God's faithful children will have the opportunity, whether in this life or the next, to enjoy all the blessings of an Eternal marriage. That quick summary may not make sense to those not of our faith, so I REALLY encourage you to read the whole interview.

But say the proponents of SSM, the Constitution forbids establishment of religion -- the laws can't be based on what your religion thinks is a sin.

This is the biggest reason I'm fighting to pass Proposition 8. If it fails, then my freedom to practice my religion will be curtailed. That's a right that is explicitly in the Constitution, and not something that's sort of kind of implied to only a slim majority of the judges involved in the case that stirred this whole mess up.
What do you mean? Gays getting married won't affect you at all. The thing is, it will. History has shown that there will be some militant couples that want to force everybody to not only tolerate their relationship, but condone and approve of it. They'll ask to get married in one of our chapels or something like that, and when we refuse, they'll sue to take away our tax-exempt status. My church donations and my tax dollars will be spent to fight those court battles.
Others have threatened to sue churches that preach against homosexuality for hate speech, and if anybody doubts that they'll actually do it, they're deluded. As I said earlier, the more accepted SSM is in our culture, the more people will engage in that sin. I want my church to continue to have the right to preach against it (as we preach against all forms of immorality), and if this proposition fails, we're one step closer to losing that right. This link has a very informative article about some of the other civil liberties that are at stake.

Then there are the children. Oh No! say the opponents of Prop 8 You're not going to hide behind the children are you? Well, first of all, I'm not hiding behind them. There are plenty of other reasons. But then again, what's wrong with wanting a better world for my children? Environmentalists use that argument all the time, and I don't see everyone chastising them for that. But back to my point, there are two groups of children that we need to be worried about in this issue:

First, there are the children of the Gay or Lesbian couples -- whether adopted or born with one or both of the parents' DNA through natural or medically assisted means. These children will grow up without the influence of either a mother or a father. That would be sad and confusing for them. But there's millions of kids in single parent homes without mothers or fathers, are you going to outlaw them too? If it was practical, or even possible, we might try. As it is, it's sad and confusing for them too, and we wish that every child could grow up in a complete family.
Then there's my children. I have a baby daughter, and I'm already worried about sending her out into the world to be bombarded with temptations. As SSM becomes more acceptable, it will be more tempting to my daughter and her peers. Some people have such strong homosexual feelings that they would never consider a heterosexual relationship, but others, especially in the confusing hormone rush of adolescence, are not so decided. They'll be encouraged, by equal exposure in health classes in the public schools, to experiment with homosexuality, and some children who would not otherwise have made that lifestyle choice, now will. I think that's something worth fighting against.

Well, I ended up making a list just like I said I wouldn't. I hope, though, that my arguments are at least a little less ludicrous than those in the humor piece. I know that there are many people out there that I have no chance of convincing. To those people, I ask for a little tolerance. Please don't fill my comments with posts calling me ugly names. I've had enough of them already. For those that are on the fence on this issue, I hope my points have answered some of your questions, and if you have others, feel free to ask them and I'll be happy to answer. Honestly, I don't know whether anybody outside my own family will read this post (though I know I occasionally get a few other readers), but it's so important to me that even if this is just a journal entry to remember this tumultuous time, it'll still be worth writing.

Spider Webs by Amy Goldman Koss

2008-10-13T09:59:00.001-07:00

Spider Webs: The spider weaves a sticky web
To capture bugs to eat.
What keeps the spider's sticky web
From sticking to her feet?

Spider webs are very tricky
Because not all the strands are sticky.
Unlike the passing hapless fly,
The spider knows which strands are dry.

But if she accidentally stands
Upon one of the sticky strands,
She still would not get stuck, you see--
Her oily body slides off free.
--Amy Goldman Koss

I had heard of this habit of spiders, of course, but had never seen it demonstrated as clearly as today on our walk. Some kind of dust has blown onto this spioder web and only stuck to some of the strands. It's very pretty.

I've been thinking, "I'd better write that down!" fairly often this week when Elizabeth does something new, so that means you all get to hear me bragging about the baby again. That's probably a good thing, because every time I write about myself and my own feelings, everybody writes back with deep concern asking if I'm all right.

While I appreciate the sentiment, and knowing that you care, I think I ought to put a disclaimer on here that says that one of the major purposes of this blog is therapeutic. Yes, I write in the blog when I'm feeling down, and yes I spell out in gruesome detail all the horrible things I've been thinking and feeling, but the act of writing them down lets me let go of them and not have to keep worrying about them anymore. In the case of the conference post last week, all the lousy stuff at the start was there to be a contrast to the wonderful hope filled talks, and to show how much good they did in changing my attitude from lousy to thankful and at peace. By the time you read how bad I was feeling, I was already over it.

The time when you should really worry is when there have been several dark posts, and then nothing at all -- especially no braggy about Elizabeth posts -- for a while. That means I'm too depressed to even bother writing, and that's bad news.

But we're not anywhere close to that right now. Let's get to the good stuff:

Bathtime for Elizabeth has moved from the kitchen sink into the big tub. The first time I tried it, and when we tried it in Ohio, she was very frightened and cried, and just generally wanted out. I think that the noise of the water running and echoing off the tiles was scary, and that on top of other new experiences, the sensory overload was just too much.

When I take her in for a bath now, she still startles at the noise. It's very cute -- she grabs me tight, buries her head in my arm, and kicks her legs. But then once she feels secure, she looks towards the noise, curious to see what it is (she has exactly the same reaction to the blender and the vacuum). I talk reassuringly to her about what a loud noise the water makes, then put her in the tub.

When she sees the bath toys floating in the water, she starts to make her bathtime happy chirping noise. She started making this noise when she was still bathing in the sink -- especially when she would play with the pink rubber duckie that tels if the water is to hot. I'm not sure if the noise refers to the ducky, or the special happiness of being in warm water with fun things to play with, or has expanded to include the happiness of making a louder echoing noise than the scary water is still making, but her bouncing smiling body language leaves no doubt that she's happy to be there.

While in the tub, she likes the challenge of catching a floating toy, chewing on mermaid hair, getting water poured on her back, watching water get poured out of a big cup, trying to drink from the big cup, watching the water droplets condense and run down the side of the tub, and feeling the currents when Mama swishes the water around. Sometimes she'll notice that she can make a splash too, and will play with that for a while, but it's not very often, and she seems surprised each time.

We've been taking a lot of baths recently because along with the normal messiness of everyday living, there's the special messiness of going to the park and crawling around eating the rocky dirt that passes for sand there, learning to feed herself food other than the nice sanitary puffs that Mama has been giving her, and getting sweaty in the heat waves we've been having (alternating with chilly weather more appropriate for October). Bathtime is also uniquely calming, and can get her to stop crying even when she's woken too early from a nap by sore gums (she's teething again).

Speaking of eating, I had a kind of revelation when I got back from my trip to Ohio. I realized that Elizabeth wasn't just chewing on things because she's a baby, or because she's teething. When she systematically gnawed the entire cover off a book by taking bites out of the cardboard, thoughtfully chewing, then going back for another bite, I finally got that she might want to be eating real food, and not just the almost liquid diet of milk and babyfood I had been giving her. I realized that my efforts to keep her from getting staining food on her pretty clothes were stifling her urges to learn and grow. I've been trying to let her explore more types of foods, and I've been doing things like taking her clothes off entirely, or putting enormous bibs on so that I can let go. She still managed to get banana stain (who knew that bananas of all things would be my worst stain enemy?) on her pretty red and white dress, but she sure had fun doing it.

Some of the things she likes to eat are: pita bread, tortillas, puffs, bananas, fruit cocktail, stewed tomatoes from chili, frozen baby food shaved ice (more texture than room temperature, and the cold is soothing on the gums), and yesterday, she had fun gnawing on my apple. She wants to learn how to drink from a cup, use a spoon, and grab anything on Mama's plate, and I need to find ways to let her be messy as she does it. By the way, she still loves eating paper and cardboard.

When sitting at the table, she often gets distracted by noises from outside the window. There are some wind chimes that are particularly fascinating, but even more so are sounds of the neighbor girl going outside to watch her grandma water the plants. Skylee (sp?) is about 7 or 8 months older than Elizabeth, and can walk and talk (in a kind of half Spanish/ half English baby talk that's almost entirely unintelligible to me). Grandma knows about as much English as I know Spanish, and I expect we both understand a lot more than we can come up with to say, so there's not a lot of deep communication that goes on between us. Elizabeth ad Skylee don't really care though, and just like to look at/grab each other and generally enjoy just watching the other be a happy little girl. When Elizabeth hears Skylee, nothing will satisfy her except going outside to see (she'll even start to cry if I don't take her out quickly enough). I'm still not certain that she doesn't think that other kids are just a special kind of kitty, a fascinating thing that moves in order to entertain her, but it's nice to see that she's becoming more social.

Speaking of kitties, our evening walks have become kitty hunts for Elizabeth. Our mobile home park has a large population of feral cats, and the management does nothing about it. It frustrates me, because they all seem to think my garden should be their litter box, and they don't even bother to bury it, so we get lots of enormous flies breeding in our yard. At the same time, it makes me happy that Elizabeth can get her kitty fix each day. When she spots one from the stroller, she sits up on the edge of her seat, kicks her legs, reaches out her hands, and starts panting (which is her way of saying, "I see it! I want it! I'm gonna work hard to get it!" about anything). We walk very slowly up to the kitty in question, trying not to spook it so that Elizabeth can get a good look. Most of the kitties are pretty patient, and a few will even give us a good meow or leg rub before slinking off under a car or house. A couple of times we've even seen a skunk out on his nightly prowls (we think he lives under our next-door-neighbor's house), but I wouldn't let Peter push Elizabeth's stroller nearer to him.

Elizabeth's current hobby is looking out my office window. At first, I let her just stand on the floor, but after she gnawed through the paint on the windowsill down to the plaster, I found I needed to make sure that part wasn't at mouth level anymore. Now she stands on a grey box full of random cords bits of electronics which was originally a barrier, but now is a stepstool to give her a better vantage point. She will stand there looking out the window for a good solid hour while I read email, write in my blog, or sew Halloween costumes. She seems to like the changing scenery -- she gets really excited when a car goes by -- and the breeze coming in and blowing in her face.

I gave her one of the sparkleys I had hanging there to catch the sun, and she twists and turns and chews on and bangs it, providing all the entertainment she needs. Occasionally, she will drop the sparkley, and be sad when she can't bend down and pick it up (if it falls between the box and the wall or into the fabric and netting next to the box), but a quick noise of displeasure alerts Mama that something is amiss, and the problem is soon remedied.

When I say she stands for an hour, I really mean that she does a kind of dance that involves squatting down, pulling up, side-stepping back and forth, bouncing, and sometimes (with increasing frequency) letting go altogether in order to manipulate the sparkley with both hands without relinquishing her view of the outside world. She can stand unsupported for a good 30 seconds to a minute, and likes to practice balancing. When we clap for her, she'll even start to show off by leaning and correcting or bending down and coming back up.

While I'm on the subject of the office, there's a funny/sad story I want to tell. You may remember that a few months ago, I posted a youtube video of Elizabeth trying to get the rattle on her exersaucer. She's been yanking on the rattle for months now, and one day I detached it from the saucer. The poor baby was OVERCOME with glee. This video is about ten minutes later, and she's still frequently doubled up with happiness at finally being able to hold the whole thing. It makes me kind of sad to know that she's been so frustrated for months over this thing.

I've posted several pictures of Elizabeth in her pumpkin hat, which I made after seeing a similar one in a flickr group of handcrafted baby stuff. One of the other hats I saw was a bunny hat. I might have been able to find and read a pattern to knit a similar one, but I'm really better at crochet, and Grandma Becky is always asking me what I want her to knit for Elizabeth, so I sent her the link and set her loose. Here's the result. In her email thank you note to Grandma, Elizabeth said, "Thank you Grandma, for my bunny hat! I wasn't cute enough before! ;)"

Well, that's all for now. Elizabeth has been asleep for an hour and may wake up at any minute. I also need to eat some breakfast before it's lunchtime. Remember, there's more photos on Picasa and videos on youtube than I post in the blog. Links are in the sidebar.

Mr. Jack-o-lantern by Alene Dalton, Myriel Cluff Ashton and Erla Young

2008-10-07T13:40:00.000-07:00

Mr. Jack-o-lantern: Mr. Jack-o-lantern
Is very round and fat.
He has a yellow candle
Tucked underneath his hat.
It makes his face look scary (cheery)
And very, very bright
When he winks and smiles at me
On spooky Halloween night!
--Alene Dalton, Myriel Cluff Ashton and Erla Young

This was one of the Halloween songs we would sing at Family Home Evening in October when I was little. The other was Halloween Cat which I may post later. They both came from a book called My Picture Book of Songs with pictures by artist Erla Young published in 1947. for those interested, there are several copies available for sale online, and it seems that Deseret Book published a 50th anniversary edition. Provo Library also has a copy. I really liked the songs, but thought that there was something not quite right about the pictures. The kids were sooooo cheerful and bright eyed and rosy cheeked that it was kind of creepy (in a horror movie about baby dolls sort of way).

Lots of people have told me how cute the pumpkin hat is, so I thought I'd post directions so that anyone else who wants to can make one.

I used a size J-10 (6.0 mm) hook and Vanna's Choice Lion Brand yarn in Rust. The website says it's a Weight Category: 4 - Medium: Worsted-weight, Afghan, Aran Yarn Solids: 3.5 oz/100g; 170 yd/156 m balls. All stitches in this pattern are chaining or single crochet. It takes me a couple of hours (around 2 1/2 to 3) to make each hat.

To make each sections, chain 10, add one to turn,

then single crochet back and forth 8 more times (for a total of 9 rows including the chain). It should be roughly square.

When turning the next corner, don't chain one to turn, just go into the second stitch thereby decreasing one. Continue in this manner so there are 9 stitches on this row, 8 on the next, and so on down to one stitch that you cut the yarn and pull it through to make a knot.

Make 7 or 8 sections. More sections make a bunchier hat. I made 7 to fit my 9 month old daughter. You could also adjust size by making more stitches per section -- though this will also make the sections taller.

Attach two sections together by doing a single crochet through both along one edge. This will make a prominent ridge when you lay them flat,

and a valley on the other side.

You want this. Also, when you get to the angled part, feel free to make it tight, and use fewer stitches so that it curls a little. Both of these things contribute to the pumpkin shape. If you can manage to stitch over the loose ends, they'll stay hidden better than if you weave them in later with your hook.

Continue stitching around the point of one section and down the other edge with a third segment. Make sure all the ridges will be on the inside of the hat (it's easy to do it the wrong way if you're not paying attention). When you get to the bottom, cut the yarn and pull it through.

Attach all the sections in this manner till you've completed the circle. If you've planned well, you'll be at the bottom of the hat, and can start stitching around the bottom without cutting the yarn.

Make one row around the bottom, evening out the seams and covering up loose ends. Mark where you begin with a scrap of yarn or safety pin so you'll know that you've completed a row even though we'll just continue around in a spiral.

The next row you'll be decreasing. Skip one, then stitch two, then skip one, then stitch two. You get the idea. Essentially you're only paying attention to two out of every three stitches.

Try the hat on your baby after the decrease row. If it's loose, decrease again. You can skip fewer stitches if it's almost small enough, but I wouldn't skip more than one in three. Just add another decrease row if it's still too big.

Do about four rows of regular single crochet. When you're finished, weave the end into the next four stitches or so to make a nice even edge, then weave the rest into the stitches on just the inside of the hat so it doesn't show.

There's a roundish hole in the center top of the hat where all the points meet. For the stem, use green or brown yarn to stitch around the inner edge of the hole. I like to stitch this part inside out so that the spiral ridges are on the outside when I'm done. Go around once or twice to make the stem, then start decreasing -- skipping one stitch in three for the next two rows, then every other stitch to make a point. clip the yarn and weave it in on the inside, then turn it right side out so it pokes out the top of the hat.

I find I can make two hats from a ball of yarn, though sometimes it runs a little short. If you use the same green or brown as the stem to do the last two or three row on the bottom of the hat (after the decreases), then it makes a nice border, and saves on the orange yarn.

Here are some pictures of Elizabeth wearing her hat. Notice how different it looks depending on how far back it's pushed, and how much of the bottom band shows.

We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet by William Fowler

2008-10-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

We Thank Thee, O God, For a Prophet: We thank thee, O God, for a prophet
To guide us in these latter days.
We thank thee for sending the gospel
To lighten our minds with its rays.
We thank thee for every blessing
Bestowed by thy bounteous hand.
We feel it a pleasure to serve thee
And love to obey thy command.

When dark clouds of trouble hang o’er us
And threaten our peace to destroy,
There is hope smiling brightly before us,
And we know that deliv’rance is nigh.
We doubt not the Lord nor his goodness.
We’ve proved him in days that are past.
The wicked who fight against Zion
Will surely be smitten at last.

We’ll sing of his goodness and mercy.
We’ll praise him by day and by night,
Rejoice in his glorious gospel,
And bask in its life-giving light.
Thus on to eternal perfection
The honest and faithful will go,
While they who reject this glad message
Shall never such happiness know.
--William Fowler

I found one more General Conference activity packet -- and this one has updated general authority pictures!

Boy were today's General Conference talks great, or what? I really felt like at least half of the speakers were talking to me about my individual problems. For those of you who don't get daily phone calls from me (and that includes my future self and people who will, with any luck, read this like my journal years from now), here's a quick rundown of what those individual problems are:

On Thursday night, Peter watched part of the Vice Presidential debate. After a while, I'd had about all I could take of people arguing, twisting one another's words and saccharine-sweetly telling each other they respected them for opinions that they don't really hold. I used Elizabeth's walk as an excuse to get us out of the house, but Peter and I ended up talking politics the whole time. By the time we got home and got dinner on the stove, I was incredibly hungry (Elizabeth didn't take a nap at lunchtime), dehydrated (nursing mothers need to drink LOTS of water), headachey, and grumpy. I've been trying to fight off a blue funk that appeared out of the blue this week, and it's been letting all sorts of anxieties start to overwhelm me.

The house isn't selling, and who knows if there will be anybody to loan money to a buyer in our price range? Speaking of selling the house, it's killer to try to live at this pitch of cleanliness, and I haven't been keeping up since I got back from the trip. I haven't had decent sleep in weeks, and the other day I put Elizabeth in her crib and let her cry while I napped for an hour (which shows you how tired I was, 'cause her cries are usually better than an alarm clock for waking me up). I have no appetite, but have other hungry mouths to feed, Peter's been complaining about his temp job, and I just got word that another friend died as a result of a disease I have, and live with symptoms of every day. I read in the Ensign that there are appalling numbers of abortions in our nation, and in the voter packet that they need a law to make sure pregnant teenage girls actually tell their parents before getting an abortion. On top of all this, you want me to figure out how to fix the nation's Health care problems, immigration, and decide which of the two lying politicians I should pick as leader of the free world?

It's too much! I can't deal with it, and my brain is starting to shut down. I simply can not think about certain things if I want to survive. As tired as I am, I often can't fall back to sleep after the 3 am feeding because my mind is too busy. I know I need to take care of myself, but it's really hard sometimes.

And then we had General Conference. I didn't hear every word of every talk (Elizabeth isn't nearly as interested in listening as I am, or as interested in napping during Conference as her dad is -- though he stayed awake through the whole thing this time! I'm so proud of him! -- and then there was the termite inspector...), but what I did hear really touched me. I guess I'm not the only person in the world who has been hit with tough economic times, and is overwhelmed by the world's calamities, and honestly, When I really think about it, I haven't been hit as hard as most.

Before I go on, I'd like to thank Mormon Times for posting quick summaries and quotes from the talks, since the official transcript won't be up on LDS.org till Thursday at the earliest.

President Monson reminded us in the very first talk that our Heavenly Father is mindful of each one of us and our individual needs.

Elder L. Tom Perry talked about mortal life as a cycle of "good and bad times, ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness and times of plenty as well as scarcity" he also said that "One of the challenges of this mortal experience is not to allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us."

Elder Elder Neil L. Andersen also talked about challenges, difficulties, questions, and doubts, but reiterated the comforting words: Fear and faith cannot coexist. In our days of difficulty, we can choose the road of faith.

Elder Marcos A. Aidukaitis talked about the stress and sacrifice of his father's conversion and baptism -- not my current problem, but it's just fun to see him again! (He and his family lived in the Lorain Ward with us in Ohio for a while, and they were great friends)

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said that we live in the "perilous times" prophesied by the Apostle Paul. and warned that we can get distracted, degraded, downhearted or depressed unless we stay focused.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave a beautiful talk about Hope, which I really needed. (I'm borrowing most of the Mormon Times summary here) He said that it's one leg of a three-legged stool, together with Faith and Charity that stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter. Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness, but its absence, when the desires of our hearts are delayed, can made the heart sick. We have the responsibility to make hope an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. In opposition to hope, despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. It kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul and deadens the heart. Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill his promises. It is confidence that if we live according to God's laws and the words of his prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered, manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm and perseverance.

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin told us about his mother's wise words: Come what may--and love it. He counselled us to laugh in the face of adversity and seek for the eternal. I liked when he reminded us that "the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us." and that it's useless to say "why me?" when everyone is singled out sometime. My favorite line from his talk was: Sometimes, the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome. He finished by saying that the Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in his own way, and not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

Later in the day, I was thinking about Elder Wirthlin's talk, especially the "suffer us to overcome" line. The Spirit brought to mind the image of me putting Elizabeth into her carseat or holding her while the doctor gives her shots. I'm saying, "I know you don't like it. I'm sorry, but it has to be done. I love you. It'll be all right soon. It's only for a little while, etc..." I feel like today's conference talks were God's way of putting his arms around me and saying, "I know you're hurting, and I'm sorry, but it's only for a little while, and there really is a reason."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a beautiful talk about angels. He said that angels are all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal, but all doing the Lord's work of comforting and expressing God's love for His children. Heaven, he said, never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that 'angelic' is the only word that comes to mind. God may feel far away, but he is always watching and assisting his children.

Elder D. Todd Christofferson spoke about Zion. This evening, Mom and I were talking about what he said about materialism. We don't need things to make us happy, but the Lord knows we like things, and sometimes leads us to good deals so we can have the nice things we like without having to pursue materialism. A friend of mine saw Elizabeth's pumpkin hat and asked if I'd thought about selling them. I said that unless somebody was willing to pay $25 or $30, it wouldn't be worth my time. Later, she was looking at it closely, and asked if I really had just made it. I said that I had, and said I'd make her one. Only on my way home, did I realize that doing it for money isn't worth my time, but doing it for friendship totally is. I think I'm doing all right on the materialism scale this week.

Elder David A. Bednar's talk reminded me that I ought to spend more time in prayer, thanking my Heavenly Father for the things our family has rather than just requesting the blessings I think we need. Peter, Elizabeth and I are all relatively healthy. We have a home that's not going into foreclosure. Peter has a job that pays enough that we're spending less than he makes, even when I go out and buy craft supplies for Halloween costumes and pumpkin hats. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, and didn't use money problems as an excuse to start fighting and ruin our relationship (like some people I know). We have a beautiful daughter, who's learning new things, and even when she doesn't nap (like this week), she has the best temperament of any baby I've ever met.

Even the songs at conference were perfect. After sobbing through most of Elder Holland's talk, we were asked to sing with The Primary Choir. Teach me to walk in the light of His love...wasn't just referring to the academics of the scriptures (as we were reminded by ELder Causse), it's about the light of God's love that drives out the darkness of dispair, and I needed to learn about it today. Come little child and together we'll learn. It's nice to be reminded sometimes that I don't know everything (because if what I know is all there is, then the world is a pretty depressing place).

The last hymn was the best though. The second verse of that song never sounded so appropriate before (if you weren't paying attention, that's today's poem, with the relevant bits bolded). I don't doubt the Lord or his goodness. I've proved him in days that are past. I know that deliverance is nigh. I just need to be reminded of all that.

I am not the only person in the world right now that feels anxious, overwhelmed and depressed. It's pretty clear when so many of the talks focus on the same issues, that they're issues that are important to many Saints. Today's Conference talks, and the movie about President Monson that they showed between sessions, reminded me over and over that Heavenly Father hears and answers the prayers of His children. He loves me personally, and has a plan for my life. My adversity and afflictions shall be but a small moment, and if I endure it well, God will exalt me on High. It really is all gonna be okay.

Conference Time by Mabel Jones Gabbott

2008-10-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

Conference Time: It’s conference time in Salt Lake City,
Where flowers bloom on Temple Square.
The Saints have come by wheels or jet plane;
A special feeling fills the air.

The Tabernacle doors are open;
Now friends can meet along each aisle.
The organ thrills us with its music.
It’s conference time; the heavens smile.

Before it’s over, rain may freshen
The grounds and people outside there,
Just as the words we hear will quicken
Our thirsty hearts like answered prayer.

It’s conference time. The Brethren speak
In faith and truth—no doubt, no fear.
Then the Lord’s own chosen prophet
Will bless the people far and near.
--Mabel Jones Gabbott

OK, this is not her best work (Sitting for hours in the cold October rain is supposed to remind us of God's love?), but hey, how many poems are there about General Conference itself?

Though Elizabeth is not old enough for most of these activities, I have friends and family members who might like to print a couple out for their kids to do during conference. For more ideas, search the Friend at LDS.org for "Funstuf" or "For Little Friends" or "Conference"

You can get pictures of general authorities from the last conference issue to update the games that need it. If anyone knows where to find it online let me know.

I've also scanned in a few of the pages I've pulled from old Friend magazines that have pictures that aren't online.

Coloring Picture of President Monson talking in conference

Old Testament ABC's

Books in BOM Wordsearch

Prophets ABC

New Testament ABC's

Conference ABC's

Wordfind and Easter ABC

Conference Snacks

Things the prophet asked me to do

Conference Report with pics of general authorities

Conference Squares

Conference -- a time for listening

Conference Matching Game -- needs to be updated

Conference Coloring Activity

General Conference Activity Spinner-- needs to be updated